One Life to Live
by LunarRainbow789
Summary: The story of how Lily and James fell in love, out ran Voldemort, and parented the Boy-who-lived. It will start with their last year at school and will continue all the way up to that fateful Halloween night.
1. Owls

**Owls**

The Smyth couple who resided in the village of Humphrey never expected that they would have children. Eileen had married her husband Richard Smyth in the fall of 1958 and had had many unsuccessful attempts at bearing children.

She had become very frustrated with her situation until the doctors informed her of the cancer that was quickly invading her uterus. Since that moment, Mr. Smyth gave up on his dreams of family and lived out his days feeling blessed that she was still in the chair next to him in the morning and wrapped in his arms at night.

That is, until a telephone call reached their residence on the morning of July 31st, 1977. Eileen had been at the sink washing up after lunch when a call came in from her Goddaughter and niece, Petunia Evans. She had not heard from the Evans' since the passing of her sister a few years before-hand and this phone call proved to be just as devastating.

It seems that her brother-in-law, Harry Evans, had suffered a fatal heart attack which left the care of her two nieces up to her and her husband. Ever since that night the two girls had been staying in the guest bedrooms of their little cottage.

The weather had been rainy in the village of Humphrey for the past two days. It came down in a constant mist that fell onto the fields of grass and left puddles in the dirt road that led right by a little cottage that nestled quite nicely into the small forest of trees that grew around three of its sides.

As the rain beat a steady rhythm against the glass of the top right window, a girl with shoulder length auburn hair could be seen lying on the bed, her green eyes staring unfocused as the condensation droplets ran races against themselves to the bottom. The room was small and contained only a twin sized bed (pushed up against the far wall) and a small desk.

There were boxes that ranged from small shoebox sized ones, to ones that required two people to life them. The walls were bare and the only things that made it look like someone inhabited the room were a vase of flowers and a large birdcage which were both sitting on the desk. Every once in a while the set of green eyes would dart to the flowers and then turn away filling with tears once again.

Lily Evans had been sitting in this room for hours and had made no progress in making her self feel at home as her aunt Eileen had instructed. She just lay in bed, in her black dress, hoping to wake up from this nightmare.

Only a few days ago she had been in her childhood home in Cokeworth enjoying tea with her father and sister and talking excitedly about the upcoming start of term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but now that life seemed so far away from her.

It had only been four days ago that she had woken up and gone down stairs to fix breakfast in an unusually good mood. Petunia and she had had a nice talk the night before and she thought that perhaps her sister was beginning to come to terms with not being a witch and perhaps they would regain their tight sisterly bond that they had shared in childhood.

These had been the thoughts occupying her mind as she reached the bottom most stair and turned into the kitchen only to discover her father lying in the middle of the floor. In that instant, time stopped. But then it started again, and it had seemed to move in double time.

Images and events seemed to blend together; Petunia discovering her cradling her father's body, the police and coroner arriving, her aunt and uncle coming to help them pack up their belongings, moving to Humphrey, and the funeral.

She had seen so many faces of people that she did not know pass by her and offer her condolences at the funeral home and cemetery this morning but none of them could quell the emptiness in her heart that was once again glaringly apparent from the loss of both of her parents within the past five years.

Suddenly a tapping at the window seemed to shake Lily Evans out of her reprieve. She glanced toward the misted pane and saw a tawny owl glaring imploringly at her to let it inside.

Although she had never seen this owl before, Lily had a hunch as to why it had come and, sure enough, the moment it swooped inside, a letter fell from its' beak and landed with a soft thud onto the bed.

Lily crossed the room and offered the owl some water and a treat for making the long journey and then with a flap of its wings, the bird once again glided from the room and into the misting haze that surrounded the cottage. Her green eyes watched the progress of the owl until it was only a speck being swallowed up by the horizon before turning to retrieve the envelope from the bed.

She read the front and found the familiar scrawl in green ink from Hogwarts. Inside it contained the usual welcome back letter listing the supplies she will need for the upcoming semester and the start of term date which was set for September 1st, as usual.

As she went to throw out the envelope, though, something fell out and landed on her lap. She had failed to notice the third bit of parchment within the envelope which contained some unexpected news which almost made her smile.

_Ms. Lily Evans, _

_It is to my immense pleasure that I am able to inform you that you have been named this year's Head Girl at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please note that this includes the responsibility of running the prefects meetings, organizing the patrol duty schedules, and keeping the school's prefects in check along with the help of the Head Boy. Should you choose to accept this offer, we will see you at the start of term on September 1st; but should you wish to decline, please send return owl as soon as possible. Please enjoy the rest of your summer break._

_Deputy Head Mistress, _

_Minerva McGonagall_

Placing the piece of parchment on the bed next to her, Lily picked up her new Head Girl badge and held the small piece of medal between her fingers.

Her parents would have been so proud of her; but now there was no one who could understand the small joy that such an accomplishment brought to her seemingly dreary life. For, you see, her aunt and uncle did not know that their god daughter had magical abilities.

For a moment, Lily worried about how she was going to pay for her materials this year, but then she remembered the small stash of money she had saved up from all of her summers working at the muggle appliance shop down the road from her house and figured that she could make it stretch.

All she had to do was make it through this last month without exposing her secret to her family members and she would be able to return to the only home that she had left.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts as the head of a woman poked itself through the bedroom door.

Eileen Smyth was nearing her forties and had the laugh-lines etched into her face to prove it but no one would say that it didn't suit her. She had a slight build but a definite homely appearance of someone who felt secure in her own body.

Lily shifted her gaze onto the woman and took in the way that her hair had the same gentle curl that her mother's had had. She noticed other small similarities between herself and her aunt: like the way in which her knees slightly bent together as she stood, or how her ears were a little bit pointed; but the thing that always took her by surprise was how they shared the exact same eyes.

Her mother and father had both had stormy blue eyes and Lily had always quite liked the shocking green of hers; to tell the truth she had been slightly jealous of her aunt when she realized that she no longer had quite as unique ones as she had thought.

"Lily dear, dinner is about ready if you feel up for joining us," Eileen took in the unpacked boxes and the black, rumpled dress that her niece was still dressed in. She walked over to her goddaughter and took her hand squeezing it lightly. "Things will get better dear, I know they seem bleak now but I promise things will get better."

Lily could feel the tears once again prickle behind her eye lids as her aunt swiftly moved back toward the hall to go gather Petunia for dinner. She had never been one to openly cry in front of others and was glad that her aunt seemed to recognize this quirk; she would always offer small bits of encouraging phrases and then conveniently find a reason to leave her with some privacy.

Summoning up what little energy her body seemed to still cling to, Lily trudged over to one of the larger boxes which had the label 'Lily- clothes' scrawled in a neat writing across the side. She rummaged through it for a bit and eventually decided on a pair of large black sweat trousers and a royal purple tank top.

Shedding the dress that she had worn to both of her parent's funerals Lily threw on her other clothes and opened the door to the hallway almost colliding with the uncle.

"Hullo Lily, dinner is almost ready. I believe tonight we're having chicken." Her uncle Richard had always had a hairline that receded back halfway along his scalp but Lily was glad to see that, recently, he had taken to shaving himself bald instead.

The look actually seemed to suit him; Richard was very tall, about 6' 3", and had a thick body structure. He was not a fat man but he had a large frame. Despite his almost menacing appearance, her uncle had the kindest eyes of anyone she had ever met; there was always a crooked smile displayed in his features, especially whenever he happened to be caught staring at his wife.

Though he would never mention it, Richard was glad to have the girls staying with them because it seemed to bring warmth out in Eileen that had been lacking without children of their own.

"That sounds delicious. I'm just going to pipe into the loo for a moment and then I'll be down thank you," Lily stepped around her uncle and took the few steps up the hallway and into the bathroom.

As she stared into the mirror, Lily could see the toll that the past couple of days had on her; her skin was a sickly pale, there were large dark circles under her rid-rimmed eyes, and her hair was piled on top of her head in a tangle of hair. The corners of her mouth pulled down into a slight frown and the light had seemed to go out from her eyes. She could not believe how empty she felt.

It was as if the loss of her father had implanted a dementor inside of her chest and she could not escape the misery that was slowly consuming her.

Seeming not to be able to look at herself anymore, Lily forced a smile onto her face and went to go join her family at the dinning table. Her sister Petunia had already made it to the table and was looking about the same as Lily even though their looks could not have been different.

Where Lily had a slight frame, bright auburn hair, and astonishing green eyes; Petunia was tall, very slender with an abnormally long neck, with dark brown hair, and honey brown eyes. She could feel those eyes glaring at her as she took her seat at the table.

Dinner passed without much talking and soon it was time for Lily to disappear back up to the room that she would now call her bedroom. The lights were dim and she found herself imagining the shadows cast against her walls being malicious entities. She quickly turned on the lights and the florescent glare made her cringe but at least it was better than her imagination running rampant.

As she walked over to crawl into bed again Lily noticed something that wasn't there before dinner. A letter had been delivered for her. With a jolt of trepidation she read who it was from and smiled. Alice Cooper had written to her!

Alice was in the same year as her at Hogwarts and they had been best friends since 1st year when they were assigned to the same dorm room. Tearing into the letter Lily's eyes roamed the large untidy scrawl that she knew so well:

_Lily- Petal, _

_I am so sorry to hear about your father; it tears at my heart that I was not able to come and support you today- damn this family holiday! I implore that as soon as we get back (in two weeks) that you come and stay with me until term starts. I will not accept no as an answer. It must be miserable in that house not being able to do magic and having no one to talk to! I've already talked to my parents about it and they insist that you come. In answer to your questions, I have not heard back from Frank yet and it is driving me crazy! I cannot get a handle on if he is actually interested in me or not! Ahh, I miss you leaps and bounds! Please say that you will stay with me; we can even go into Diagon Alley together! I love you so so much! Stay strong and write back quickly; my mother is being so suffocating._

_With much love, _

_~Alice _

Lily felt a feeling of love balloon inside her as she finished reading the letter. She had forgotten how Alice had this way of making her forget her sadness, if just for the length of time it took her to read a letter.

The thought of spending the last two weeks of holiday with her best friend lightened the mood that had descended over her since arriving at this cottage. She only had to spend two weeks here instead of the anticipated four; what a thrilling possibility!

As her eyes read through the letter once again, her thoughts drifted onto Frank Longbottom and his way of messing Alice around. Alice and Frank had had a mutual attraction for each other since their third year at Hogwarts but neither one of them had the courage to make the first move yet.

Secretly, Lily just wished that one of them would get it over with and just snog the other; she was getting tired of analyzing each owl post and every action that Frank Longbottom ever made in regards to Alice Cooper.

Lily had no idea in which box hid her parchment and quills so she made sure that her door was closed and withdrew a long, straight stick from within her trousers pocket.

With the flick of her wrist one of the smaller shoe-box sized boxes sprang open and her supplies levitated into the air and onto her desk, seemingly, of their own accord. Rolling the parchment out flat, Lily began to etch out her reply:

_Dearest Alice, _

_I miss you too; so much. This day seems like it has dragged on forever. The funeral seems like a blur and I cannot believe that he is gone. Petunia still refuses to talk to me but my aunt and uncle are being quite accommodating but having to not use magic is starting to try my nerves. I would love to come and stay with you! Let me just talk to Eileen and then we can formalize plans. I'm sure that Frank is just trying to figure out the correct response to your last letter and that he will write back soon. Have some faith. Please get back to me soon, I'm dying of loneliness here._

_With much love, _

_ Lily E._

Since her owl, Artemis, was out to stretch its wings, Lily placed the letter by her cage to send out when she returned. Crawling back under the covers, Lily let the events of the past couple of days slip away into a slide-show of jumbled images and events that would eventually let her mind ease into some form of sleep.


	2. Goodbyes

**Goodbyes**

"Lily, honey, wake up; it's time for breakfast!" The sudden noise filled the room like an explosion and the disheveled girl shot up in bed as if she had been shocked. The past two weeks had passed with relative ease and tonight would be the last night that Lily spent in this small unfamiliar room. She had talked to Eileen and Richard the day after Alice's letter came and they agreed that she should be with her friend before returning the "that boarding school" of hers. So tomorrow after breakfast the Cooper family would arrive in their car, which they would rent for the trip, and come to collect her in a thoroughly muggle fashion.

"I'll be down in a moment thank you," she replied sleepily to her aunt. Lily really did not mind spending time with Eileen and Richard but Petunia made living with the Smyth's an awful experience. Petunia never missed an opportunity to throw a glare toward her younger sister. Normally Lily would just ignore ever glare and insult that was thrown her way because she understood the jealousy that Petunia must feel being non-magical, but since the death of their father, Lily was taking it to heart.

She threw back the light dark blue comforter that covered her and forced herself to roll out of bed. Reaching the kitchen, Lily made a mental note for herself to talk to Petunia after receiving another scorching stare. Once breakfast had been eaten and the dishes had been washed Lily returned to her temporary room. There were a couple of boxes that had loose odds and ends sticking out of them but for the most part her belongings remained packed. She sighed and mentally began preparing herself for what she was about to do: decide what stuff she would like to being with her and which stuff to leave behind.

Lily plopped down in front of her school trunk and flipped the latches to reveal a tidy mess of spare parchment, last years books, quills, a cauldron packed with potion supplies, a pair of dragon hide gloves, and her school robes among a slew of other items. She decided that all of these would be needed for the upcoming term and moved onto one of the other various boxes and peaked inside to see what it contained. A mingle of homemade arts and crafts and baby pictures of her looked up at her from within it; these she did not need and could shop in the wardrobe here. Other boxes that she could shop included her box of old stuffed animals, a small box of her parent's clothes that she remembered them often wearing, and old awards that she had collected. Her childhood seemed to fit nicely into the boxes stuffed in the old wardrobe and she could feel a sense of nostalgia wash over her. She was no longer that girl who wore her hair in pigtails and played on the swings in the back yard; she was almost a graduate and about to enter into the dark and mysterious world of adulthood. It was scary to know that her parents were no longer around to guide her through the mistakes that she was bound to make.

Once her clothes were sorted, the black dress she wore to her father's funeral being in the 'leave behind' pile, she only had one more box to sort. It was a small box, probably the smallest out of all of them, but held the most important things to her. Lifting the lid, Lily saw a hodgepodge of items lying innocently within its interior: a silver necklace, a dried out flower, and small tea-light candle all sat on top of a fairly new looking crossword puzzle. She decided that the whole box would be making the trip with her to Hogwarts and packed it safely under her clothing.

The whole process had taken all of the afternoon and a little bit after dinner but the room now stood empty of boxes. Her leave behind items had been securely stuffed into the tiny wardrobe and her trunk stood by the door waiting for her to leave in the morning. Artemis had been locked into her cage and was sleeping huffily waiting until she could once again be let out.

With only one thing left to do before she left the next morning, Lily exited her room and walked the few steps down the hallway to the third room on the right. She knocked softly.

"Tunny," she whispered to the door, "can I come in for a few minutes to talk?" There was a noise of someone walking over to the door and Lily heard the lock click. She took that as an invitation to enter. Petunia had taken the opposite approach than what Lily did; her stuff was no in boxes but instead everything was unpacked and in neat order. She had posters on the wall of her favorite celebrities, her make-up lined the top of her dresser, and her clothes all hung in order by color. She had even gone so far as to replace the comforter on the bed with the flower printed one she used at home. Lily was shocked to see how thoroughly her elder sister had accommodated herself into this life.

"Tunny, I'm leaving tomorrow and I really did not want to leave things between us on such a bad note. Please, will you talk to me; tell me what's wrong? I know what you're going through and I need to talk about it too." Her sentence hung in the air for a few seconds as she sister surveyed her like a bug that she would love to squish. Lily could feel her face heating up as a blush of embarrassment crept its way onto her fair cheeks. Perhaps she had been wrong to try and talk to her.

"Lily, you really have no idea what I'm going though." She stated this through clenched teeth. "I lost my father and all you had the sense to do was to sit on that damned floor with him until I got home." Her eyes were filling with tears and Lily could feel herself getting worked up.

"I was in shock! How can you expect me to react with any logic after finding my father dead on the ground? The only thing that I could think of was that it most certainly must have been a dream." She said this calmly but the familiar prickle behind her eyes was starting up again.

Petunia seemed to take offense to this and practically spat her next words; "You have your freaky little powers that mum and dad simply wet themselves over and you couldn't even save him! What good are you?" Lily could feel the tears start to form and leak from the corner of her eyes. Her sister had never been so cruel; didn't Petunia know that she was already beating herself up for not making it to breakfast sooner that morning? That if she hadn't insisted on letting herself sleep that extra hour that maybe her father would still be alive?

"I'm sorry you feel that way Tunny, I hope that maybe someday we can talk about this. I'll always love you sis." With those whispered words Lily ran from the room and straight back into hers. Her lay in bed for hours after that just trying to calm herself down enough to let sleep consume her but as the hours ticked by, there she lay just staring at the ceiling until morning came. She dressed quietly and looked at the clock on the bedside table; 8:26. Alice was supposed to arrive at about nine o'clock so she went down to the kitchen to wait. Eileen and Richard were both up and chatting animatedly. Eileen had made bacon with toast and had set the on the mahogany table by the time that Lily had heated some tea up for herself.

"Thank you for breakfast, it smells delicious," she mumbled before digging in. The Smyth's both nodded and smiled cheerily at her as she ate.

"Honey, are you sure you're all set for school this term? I just feel awful that we wont be there to drop you off and see that you get settled in," Eileen stated as she sipped her own tea. "Are these Copper people sure that they can get you safely there without hassle?"

"Oh yes," Lily replied with a rather forced laugh, "Alice is one of my classmates so they will be making the trip regardless." It was not quite lying; she was just leaving a large chunk of the story out. She could see that her words eased the bit of guilt that her aunt and uncle had been feeling and they spent the rest of the meal just enjoying each others company.

Almost precisely at nine there was a knock on the door. Lily opened it to view Alice and her two parents. Mr. and Mrs. Cooper were dressed in, what she assumed they believed to be, typical muggle clothing. Mr. cooper was dressed in a pair of striped golf trousers and sported a bright yellow rain jacket over top of it, even though there did not seem to be a cloud in the sky. Mrs. Cooper had almost gotten the look right except for the dark black dress trousers that she was wearing underneath her sundress. Alice looked the most agreeable in her dark wash jeans and purple tank top. Lily invited them into the living room to meet her relatives while she ran upstairs to grab her things. On her way past her sister's room she could not help but knock and whisper a goodbye.

Downstairs the Smyths were making pleasant small talk with the Coopers and Lily just caught the tail end of Mr. Cooper explaining that if there was any trouble that he would use the 'fellytone' to reach them. Cringing inwardly at his apparent education of muggles, Lily rushed into the room and cheerily changed the subject. Luckily she did not think that Eileen or Richard had noticed the slip up.

"You must be off then I suppose?" Eileen seemed a bit off as she said this but had a smile plastered on her face. "Will you phone us to let us know that you're safe? I just worry about you." She added as an after thought. Lily felt an appreciation for her aunt and it made her dearly miss her mother. Hugging her aunt and Uncle she bid them farewell and told them that she would see them soon. With a few last promises to write and call, the four of them took their leave. Petunia did not come down stairs.

The car that the Coopers borrowed turned out to be an enchanted car. Lily had eyed the small blue punch bug with doubt but not only did the boot and backseat expand to accommodate her and her belongs; it was equipped with the ability of flight. She gave a startled cry, once the car reached an acceptable distance from the cottage, when it slowly began its ascent skyward.

"Sorry to inconvenience you, I really appreciate being able to stay with you," Lily said about have way through their journey. At that moment they were passing over a large lake nestled between two large mountains.

"It's no trouble at all dear; we understand the need to appear as muggles for your relatives. And as for staying with us, we couldn't be happier; Alice has been quite lonely this break and we want to make you feel a comfortable as possible considering… well. Yes." Mrs. Cooper ended her sentence rather uncomfortably. Alice looked as if she would like to strangle her mother and Lily was sure that she had specifically asked them not to mention her father. She gave an encouraging smile to Mrs. Cooper and promptly let the conversation drop with a thank you.

It wasn't long before the four of them had reached the Cooper house. But house was not quite the right word for it; the Coopers came from an old wizarding background and it seems like they were, indeed, quite wealthy. The car landed on a large stone pathway that was lined with perfectly manicured hedges; it was at least a half mile in length and led up to the most extraordinary mansion that Lily had ever lay eyes on. The house had a large archway, placed directly in the center of the front house, in which a warm golden light seemed to be radiating from and was supported by Roman columns. On either side, the house stretched out and Lily could see numerous rooms making up at least 3 floors. There were ivy plants climbing a steady race against each other to encompass the manor.

Walking in side their house was a whole other story. The golden light that she saw from the outside was produced by the most spectacular chandelier; it was bigger than her and had drapes of crystal that hung in circles which threw the light into rainbow colors around the large foyer. There were two sets of stair cases which, Alice informed her, led to the east and the west wing of the mansion. The sheer size and glamour of everything made Lily feel quite inadequate and severely underdressed.

"Come on Lily- Petal! Let me show you your room! It's right across from mine." Alice was practically bouncing out of her skin as she took Lily's arm and led her up the staircase to the East wing. "We have so much to talk about! I'm so glad that you're finally here with me!" She stopped walking next to a set of large oak doors and pushed them open; the room was bigger than any room that Lily had ever slept in before. It had a large king size bed pushed up against the opposite wall which had four large posts sticking up draped in beautiful silk fabric for privacy. The dresser and vanity both matched the wood of the bed frame and the walls were painted a soft pink with golden designs inlaid throughout. Lily could feel the shock resonating off of herself.

"Alice Cooper! I never knew that you were so wealthy! I thought that we told each other everything," she accused in mock anger.

"Well Lily-petal, sometimes it's nice to know that I have friends that like me as a person and not for my wealth," she replied sticking her tongue out. Lily knew where she was coming from and was secretly glad that Alice had never told her beforehand; she liked her for being the sweet, intelligent, caring friend that she loved.

"I suppose that's all right then," she said giving her friend a light squeeze, "I still love you." Alice hugged her back and lightly tickled her side, "stoooppp Alice! You know I'm super ticklish! No fair." Alice had never been ticklish and often surprise attacked her just for kicks.

Once Alice gave up her tickle fight she unexpectedly grabbed Lily and drew her into a tight embrace saying, "Seriously though Lil, I'm really sorry about your dad. How are you holding up?" Lily tensed but had no choice to be dragged over to the large bed by her petite friend; she knew that she was going to have to do this sooner or later and so it might as well happen now.

"I'm doing fine I suppose. It's been hard to really grasp that he's gone and that I will never get the chance to see or talk or hug him ever again. Honestly, I feel rather empty at the thought; I'm technically an orphan now…" She let her voice trail off because she could feel the sadness being formed into tears and did not feel like crying in front of her host. "Thank you for inviting me here Al; I was going insane with only my aunt, uncle, and Petunia for company. I never knew how addicted I had become to having magic in my life."

"Anytime Lil, seriously, there is plenty of space in this monstrosity of a house that needs to be filled." She smiled her famous cheeky grin and Lily could feel her heart expanding with love.

"So," she said to change the subject, "how are things going with Frank?" Alice immediately jumped on the subject and Lily felt free to let her mind wander, confident that she could interject 'yeas' and gasps of outrage in the correct places of her story. Alice had always been a bit boy crazy and most boys were crazy about her right back. She had a short pixy hair cut and her honey brown hair just barely fell onto the top of her forehead which worked to accent her chocolate brown eyes. She was small and petite but her strong personality and skill made up for any of her physical short comings. She was a great person to be Lily's best friend because they complimented each other. Where as Alice was outgoing and spunky, Lily felt herself to be more of a quiet, shy person whose temper has been known to explode on those who annoy her. Like that James Potter. He was one of the most obnoxious toe-rags that she knew and he just had this ability to push her buttons. And after all of that he always had the nerve to ask her out! He would just not get the hint that she did not want to date him.

"Uh Lil, are you alright?" Alice looked worriedly at her friend whose face had become an angry, blotchy red and who looked like she would explode on the next person to speak. Lily had the sense to act ashamed and apologized to her friend for not paying attention; her mind had just gotten side tracked.

"Oh that's alright; I was just talking about how I hope Frank writes back by the end of the day. What were you thinking of that had you so bothered anyway?" She asked lightly.

"Oh. Well, um… I was just thinking about that James Potter and how he won't quit asking me out." She stuttered out pathetically. Alice gave her a knowing look and launched into a triad about what a tool Potter was and how Lily should just try to avoid him this year.

Once that subject had run dry, Alice decided to let Lily have some time to get her stuff in order and promised that she would come back in a little while to give her a proper tour of the house. Lily smiled to herself, a real smile, and could only think about how lucky she was to be out of that stuffy cottage and hanging out in a mansion with her best friend for the rest of break. That smile did not fade for the rest of the night.


	3. Diagon Alley

**Diagon Alley**

The time that Lily spent at the Cooper Manor seemed to fly by and the next thing she knew, it was three days before the Hogwarts express would leave. Alice and her family, along with Lily, made plans to go to Diagon Alley that very afternoon to make sure that the girls got everything that they needed. As Lily moved around her room that morning she felt certain trepidation; would she be able to get all of her items with the money she had saved up? She hoped that by bargain hunting and buying second hand books that she would be able to scrape by. Up until this point, Lily had not told Alice about her financial worries and hoped that the Coopers would not mind the extra time it took her to find her books for the lower price.

At the moment Alice burst through the door wearing a cute muggle sun dress that sported a baby blue and white flower design throughout. "Are you almost ready slowpoke? We should get there before the rush!" Lily mentally ran through her list; she had her book list, money, and wand. Did she need anything else? Was she forgetting something? Deciding that she had everything, Lily got up from her suit case and followed Alice to the foyer to wait for her parents.

"Do you think it will be alright if we stop at Gringotts? I need to exchange this muggle money." Lily felt awkward asking to delay the family but Alice just smiled and waved her hand as if to dismiss the inconvenience.

"It will be fine; just don't let those nasty Goblins cheat you out of any of your money." Once her parents were ready they headed over to the fireplace; since Alice hadn't yet passed her Apparition test they would travel by floo powder. Grabbing a hand full of powder, Lily said sternly "Gringotts Bank; Diagon Alley," and was enveloped in a green flame that licked at her body but did not burn.

The fireplace that she stepped out of was no longer the one at the Cooper mansion but instead opened into a grand room that had chandeliers hanging evenly spaced from the ceiling. The walls rose up on either side of her and were lined with two separate impressive looking counters. Behind these counters sat strange creatures that were smaller than a human, had large pointer ears and noses, but also sharp eyes that did not miss a thing. The Cooper family was exiting the fireplace as she approached a part of the counter labeled 'currency exchange'.

"I am Griphook. What can I do for you today?" The creature stared down at Lily as though she were its inferior and she felt as she always did around such creatures; uneasy.

"Hello, I'd like to exchange this muggle money please," she handed him all of her savings and hoped that it would be enough. After examining the money, Griphook started counting out golden Galleons, silver Sickles, and bronze Kuntz. After thanking him for his time she turned to find Alice looking at her in bewilderment.

"That can't possibly get you everything that you need! Why did you bring so little money with you?" She didn't intend to be cruel; Alice was generally curious as to why her friend was suddenly trying to scrape by. Regardless of her intentions, though, Lily could feel her cheeks heating with embarrassment while she mumbled that it would be fine. "It will not be fine," she retorted, "why haven't you got any money from what your parents left behind?"

Lily was close to tears as she chocked out her reply, "my parents didn't leave anything behind. We never really had a lot of money and were constantly in debt; everything that they had went to the funeral costs and to repaying what they owed on the house and credit card bills." Alice didn't know what a credit card was but it sounded evil.

"Well that just won't do," and before she could say anything, Alice went over to talk to her parents. Lily felt it was best just to stay where she was but Alice motioned her over. Kissing her father on the cheek she turned to Lily and proudly stated that her parents would be taking care of anything that she needed.

"I couldn't possibly accept that! You've already done so much for me; I can deal with secondhand purchases this year. Really, I promise." She was shocked when Mrs. Cooper just smiled at her and said that they insisted on paying and that she should save her money for something important. She hugged them both and thanked them profusely as they made their way through the Alley toward Flourish and Blotts.

As the day passed, Lily noticed that some of the shops had been shut down recently; not only that but people seemed to hurry and a faster pace than in previous years. There were posters along the outside of the shops from the ministry warning against dark wizards and cautioning against traveling anywhere alone. There were whispers everywhere about Lord Voldemort and the evil things that he had accomplished. Lily felt the color drain from her face at the thought of him; she could not see how someone could morally condone such violent and vicious acts.

"Evans!" The sudden cry of her surname brought Lily out of her train of thought and she spun around to see who it was. Her heart sank when she noticed James Potter dodging and weaving his way though the crowd toward her. James was tall and slimly built; the summer seemed to have been good on him, because his muscles were more defined and he seemed to have put on half a stone. It did not make him look bad, just more like a grown man than a boy. His dark hair and hazel eyes could make even the most respectable person putty in his hands but Lily could see through his exterior to the arrogant, self-righteous, conceited toe-rag within. Cursing her luck, she was forced, by the very stern hand of her best friend, to remain where she was until James had caught them up.

"All right there, Evans; and you Alice?" He said running his hand through the back of his hair purposely trying to make it as un-tidy as possible. Alice beamed at him; although she thought he was a tool, she had never been able to resist that smile and tousled hair. "How have your summers been? Are you excited to go back to school; seventh year, I can't believe it!" James tended to ramble when he was around Lily and he always left their interactions feeling like he would never be able to make a good impression.

"Oh holiday has been good, I suppose. Just some of this and a little of that," Lily didn't feel like sharing her sudden loss of parents with anyone at school, let alone James Potter. "We're just finishing up our shopping now." She meant it as a way of dismissing the conversation and making her escape but at that moment James was joined by two others.

"James Potter! What have I told you about running off like that?" The woman who spoke seemed to be in about the 40s and wore a stern look on her beautiful features. Her hair went to just above her shoulders and her eyes were the same brilliant hazel of the boy that she was telling off. Lily decided that she must be his mother. That would mean that the man standing to her left would be James' father and now that she took a closer look, Lily immediately recognized the famously windswept black hair that he shared with his son. "Why did you run off in the first place?"

"Well mum, I just saw my classmates here and wanted to say hullo," he stared at the ground and mumbled, what Lily thought to be, a lame excuse. Mrs. Potter looked around at the girls for the first time and a look of dawning stretched across her face.

"Oh! You must be Lily Evans," she said kindly and Lily could feel the look of surprise on her face, "Oh yes dear, James has told us all about you! No wonder he took off in such a rush." Lily stared at the boy while he could even seem to look at her; she noticed that his face was severely tinged with dark red and she recognized the mortified look covering his features. "It's very nice to finally meet you dear; we were wondering if we ever would, right honey?" Lily nodded dumbly as she shook hands first Mrs. Potter and then Mr. Potter who looked quite happily from her to his son.

"Quite nice indeed," he stated, "and who is this pretty young lady James?" He said indicating his head toward Alice. After being introduced, she happily took over the conversation talking about the upcoming term and how excited she was to start. "Lily," Mr. Potter interjected once a silence started to form, "are your parents here dear? I would love to meet them." His smile was so kind but Lily could feel hers slip off in an instant.

"They… um, they couldn't make it; I'm here with Alice's parents, the Coopers. They're actually probably wondering where we are. I hate to run but we should probably catch up with them." She really didn't intend to be rude but Lily could feel her tear ducts prickle as she thought about how much she missed her parents.

"Quite right, quite right. We best be off as well, lots to do before the shops close." At least he did not seem offended to Lily. They said their goodbyes and waited patiently for their son to do the same. James, who had not said a word since his mother had embarrassed him, still looked uncomfortable and only briefly glanced up at the girls.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you both on the train," he mumbled, "have a good rest of break. See you Evans." Lily almost felt bad for him but she just wanted to run away from the mention of her parents.

"See you Potter."

As their forms melded back into the crowd Lily caught a bit of the conversation.

"Mum, why did you have to tell her that you knew her? That was so embarrassing!" She was almost satisfied that she could still hear the blush in his voice and thought that he wasn't so cocky now. But it was her turn to blush when his father admonished his son for not telling them how beautiful of a girl Lily was. She thought back to their conversation and her heart stuttered over the mention of her parents. Alice grabbed her hand and squeezed it, pulling her over to the pet shop where they were to meet her parents.

"I'm sorry Lil; that must have been really tough," she smiled a sad smile and gave her hand another light squeeze.

"It's alright; I suppose it was bound to happen eventually…" She thought of the train station she would be leaving from in a few days and how strange it will be not to have her dad to say goodbye to.

As soon as Mr. and Mrs. Cooper were done with their errands, the four of them made their way quickly toward the bank again to catch the fireplace home. Lily arms were laden with so many things that her sight was highly obscured but she was sure, as she shouted out Alice's home address, that her eyes connected with hazel ones surrounded by a mess of dark hair. As she stumbled out into the Cooper's foyer, she couldn't help but feel flustered as she remembered the intensity of James' stare just a few moments before.


	4. Hogwarts Express

**Hogwarts Express**

The morning of September 1st started like the all of the rest of the days Lily had stayed with the Coopers; a small house elf named Rosie stood by her bed, scaring the living daylights out of her while wishing her a happy morning.

"Does Miss Lily need anything from Rosie, perhaps a fresh warm towel for her shower?" He voice squeaked a little bit as the words tumbled out and her eyes showed a willingness to fetch anything as long as it would make Lily happy.

"I'm alright, thank you," she was still a bit groggy and her tank seemed to have become twisted up in her sleep which made her wish Rosie would leave quickly so that she could fix it.

"If you are sure miss, Rosie was instructed to remind you that breakfast will be in twenty minutes and that the masters would like to depart no later than nine thirty." Lily watched the little elf scamper out through the door before standing up and yanking her tank back into proper place.

Rummaging through her trunk, she pulled out a pair of trousers and a dark navy

v-neck style t-shirt. She grabbed her towel and exited into the hall. Each wall was lined with portraits from many different artistic time periods; some from the renaissance, some from the gothic, Lily recognized the brush strokes of her favorite artists but was unnerved a bit when, like any wizard painting, the figures moved and watched her progress down the hall.

Once she reached the bathroom she shed her clothes and was about to hop in the bath when her reflection caught her eye; she was not as pale or sickly looking as she had been in Humphrey, but she still had those dead eyes. She wondered if anyone would notice her lack of enthusiasm or how her face didn't quite seem the same as it had at the end of last term. She turned herself around and looked over her body; had she lost weight? Would any body notice the changes in herself; did she want them to?

Her thoughts strayed to James Potter and the way he had stared at her when she was leaving Gringotts. Was she imagining it or had her heart skipped a beat? He had just been so damn focused on her and she worried that he would figure out her secret. Shaking off these ideas, Lily abandoned the scrutiny of her body and finished off her morning routine.

Breakfast was uneventful and Lily managed to choke down a little bit the food that was placed in front of her; she hadn't felt the need to eat much this past month and breakfast was the hardest meal to consume. Once the dishes had been cleared for Rosie, Alice and Lily excused themselves to go and finish their packing. Lily simply flicked her wrist and watched as her miscellaneous items levitated themselves neatly into her trunk before she slammed it shut with a satisfying loud noise. She had always been particularly good organizational spells; she liked things neat and orderly. A small knock on the door interrupted her musings.

"Lily? Oh thank god you're packed; could you help me? I hate not being of age yet… this packing by hand is bonkers; I don't know how muggles can stand it." She looked cute with her hair slightly curled and wearing a yellow muggle sundress; she probably wanted to look her best incase she ran into Frank later on.

"Sure, no use in wasting time is there?" She followed Alice across the hall and into an even larger room than hers. This room was painted a soft blue and had relatively the same furnishings that Lily was supplied with. A large intricately designed light fixture dangled from the middle of the ceiling and immaculately white curtains draped around the large windows which filled the room with bright, natural light. But Lily didn't notice any of this; what caught her eye was the mess of clothing, books, and school supplies littered over every exposed surface. Shaking her head, Lily flicked her wrist and everything seemed to spring to life; the clothes folded themselves neatly into stacks while the cauldron and school supplies scooted themselves into Alice's nearly empty trunk. Once everything situated itself into said trunk, Alice shut it flashed a grateful smile her way.

"Thank Lil, that would have taken forever and now I don't need to worry about messing up my dress," Lily smiled; so she was looking to impress Frank. She took that moment to glance at her watch.

"Ali, it's nine twenty; it's a good thing I helped or else we would have missed the train! Do you suppose we should head down and meet your parents?" With a nod from her friend, Lily once again flicked her wrist and they made their way to the foyer as their trunks bumped along behind them along with Artemis' cage. The owl gave an indignant hoot and Lily decided to carry her the rest of the way instead of chancing another collision.

"Ready to be off then?" Mr. Cooper asked as they approached, "It's about that time; we wouldn't want you to be late for the start of term would we?" Lily was unsure about how they would travel to Kings cross but her fears were put to rest as they walked out the front door and she once again spotted the little flying car that had brought her here. The boot expanded enough for both of their trucks and the four of them clamored into it for the long journey.

About an hour later Lily had begun to worry about the time when she looked about her side window and spotted the station coming nearer. She had always loved taking the train; her first year, her mum and dad had been so excited, that they made her arrive a whole hour and a half early. It was a good thing too because getting onto the platform had proved to be trickier than they had expected. Her breathing caught like it always did when she thought about her parents and she decided to try and put them out of her mind for now.

Kings cross station had always been able to awe Lily, even when just was just a child and knew nothing of the magical entrance into the world where she belonged. It was a vast building with train after train departing; she would often look at the other travelers and wonder where they were bound to end up. Were they going on holiday or perhaps they were trying to run away from their life. Regardless, Lily found them fascinating.

By this point in their educational careers, Alice and Lily knew exactly which stretch of wall between platforms nine and ten held the secret entrance. They strolled forward with such purpose and confidence that none of the muggle travelers even batted an eyelash as the wall swallowed them up. Muggles tended to ignore strange things that had no logical answer in their minds. Still walking at a brisk pace, the girls were suddenly affronted with the glamorous view of the Hogwarts express. It was one of the smaller trains housed at the station but was painted a sleek black and shiny red. All around them students were saying goodbye to their parents and lugging heavy trunks onto the train.

Lily thanked Alice's parents profusely for everything they had done for her; giving them each a large hug she drifted off to the side to give Alice a chance to say goodbye. As she waited, her eyes swept the groups of people surrounding her and eventually fell on four boys. It was James Potter and his three best friends reuniting after the long summer break. She made a mental note for herself to pay special attention to the Marauders this year; they were the biggest troublemakers in school and as head girl, she would not let them get away with it.

Just then, James' eyes found hers and his hand automatically went up the ruffle his hair before he flashed her a grin, and joined his friends who were heading for the train. Lily cursed herself for being caught staring at James Potter; she was the only girl who didn't do that! She was still silently fuming when Alice joined her.

"Shouldn't we be getting on the train Lil? I mean you do a meeting to run and I have to listen to you run that meeting," she added in a falsely unhappy tone, "I can't believe that Dumbledore picked me to replace you as Gryffindor Prefect!" Her eyes shone with pride as she squealed the last few words. Lily was just happy that she no longer had to leave her best friend behind during the numerous times that she had prefect duty.

"I suppose you're right Ali, I'm quite excited to find out who the Head Boy is this year; I've been trying to figure it out but nobody seems like the type. Maybe Amos Diggory will be promoted from prefect," her musings trailed off as they searched for an empty compartment. It seems that they had gotten there late because all of them seemed to have at least one or two people already in them. At a compartment near the rear of the train, Alice peered through the window and immediately began fixing her hair and tugging the wrinkles out of her dress.

"Lily-petal, could you please ask if we can join the people in this one?"

"Why couldn't you just ask," she said a little impatiently as she peered in; Frank Longbottom was sitting there with one of his friends, Lily thought he was a Ravenclaw, "oh all right, but you owe me one." Alice giggled and smiled brilliantly up at her.

Sliding open the door Lily caught the tail end of the boys' conversation. "Why do girls have to be so complicat-" Frank stopped abruptly when he noticed Lily and Alice standing there. His friend nudged him with his elbow and Lily noticed that he turned a little pink as he said hullo to her friend.

"Would you two mind if Alice and I sat with you after our meeting? The rest of the compartments seem to be full already."

"Um… well, that would be okay. How long will the meeting last," Frank had still not managed to take his eyes off of Alice. He seemed a little stupefied

"I'm only planning on about an hour of stuff; thank you so much," and with that they awkwardly shuffled their trunks into the over head bins. Frank's friend cheerily asked if Lily would like his help lifting hers and, after a significant look, Frank stuttered over his words asking Alice the same. She turned rather pink as his hand slid against hers when he freed it of the trunk and he almost lost grip on it when she thanked him.

Once they took their leave, Alice gripped her arm and gushed over Frank until the made it to the prefect's meeting room t the very end of the train. Lily, who had her Head Girl badge displayed proudly on the front of her shirt, pushed open the door and was greeted by the prefects who had made their way there already.

She noticed that Amos Diggory had not been promoted and sat sulkily in the corner beside his female counterpart Emily Bones. Once she had the opportunity to really look around the room the only person she noticed missing was her old partner, Remus Lupin. They had been the Gryffindor prefects together for the past two years and, although he was one of the notorious marauders, they had gotten on together fairly well. Could he have been named Head Boy along with her? She had thought that since Remus was secretly a werewolf, that Dumbledore wouldn't feel comfortable giving him such a stressful position, but she must have been wrong. Lily was pretty pleased, now that she thought about it, to have her old partner back again; they had worked well together. But who had taken over his old post, she wondered.

Just then the door banged open and in stepped Remus Lupin, who, Lily felt surprise hit her, still sported his prefect's badge. She had been wrong. Suddenly her breath caught in her chest because following Lupin through the door was none other than James Potter, a shiny new badge gleaming brightly from the front of his robes. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. She was not working with him.

"You're Head Boy?" she burst out. She could not wrap her mind around it; how could they have chosen one of the most arrogant rule breakers in school to be Head Boy? There must have been a mistake. His smile faltered a little bit as he replied nonchalantly.

"I know. It was a big surprise when the letter came over the summer but I'm sure it won't be so bad. I've been practicing following my mums rules all summer and she reckons that I'll do alright." Most of the younger group of prefects giggled and laughed at his joke but the 7th years all felt cheated to have to work under Potter. The only one who seemed at all pleased about this turn of events was Remus who chuckled and clapped his best mate on the shoulder.

"Come on now Lily, James will be a great Head Boy. He has top marks in most of his classes and the students love him," she wanted to argue with him but Lupin made too much sense.

"Yeah Evans, no need to get your knickers in a bunch," James turned a little pink and ran his hand up through his hair but stared back at her resolutely, daring her to object again.

"Well I suppose it's too late to get a new one; congratulations Potter, shall we get this meeting started? I thought that we could start by going over the rules for… everyone new." She had meant it for the new 5th years but she also threw a glance at James. As she talked, Lily noticed that he seemed to be the only one who was paying attention. She felt her face flush and wondered if she had anything on her face. She had practiced this speech for the past week and hoped that she wasn't forgetting anything.

"Well does anyone have any questions? Potter, do you have anything to add?" She chanced another glance at him and he gave a curt nod.

"I know that it seems strange that I would be named Head Boy but I promise that I will try and live up to everyone's expectations for the position. I've never been much of a rule follower but I'm sure the professors had a good reason for choosing me. I'm honoured to have this opportunity and I hope you all can give me a chance."

Lily noticed that when he talked, James commanded the attention of everyone around him. She was sure that he hadn't practiced his words, but that he just had the natural ability to speak in front of people. They way he moved projected his confidence and she envied him; Lily had never had the people skills that he possessed and she wished that people liked her half as much as they seemed to like him.

An odd silence filled the compartment and Lily realized that several people were staring at her including James. "What? Sorry I missed what you just said," she hoped that whoever had asked her the question would repeat it.

"James just asked if there was anything else we needed to cover before we were allowed to go," Alice added helpfully.

"Oh yes, just one more. We need to come up with the passwords for our respective houses." She felt flustered and had lost the professionalism in her voice. "We'll start with Ravenclaw." Once by one the 7th years from each house came over to Lily and decided on a password while she scrawled it on a piece of parchment. Once everyone had decided, Lily stood up once more, "Now don't forget to patrol the corridors every once in a while for the remainder of the trip, if anything major happens, please report it to either myself or Mr. Potter. You're free to go," she added with a smile.

Alice was going to hang around and wait for Lily but she shooed her out the door and told her to go keep Frank company until she got back. As everyone eventually left the compartment, Lily went over to the owl cage in the corner of the room and sent the new house passwords up to the castle ahead of them.

"You did a really nice job today Evans," she was so startled that she jumped and knocked over the newly empty bird cage. "Careful now wouldn't want our new Head Girl to injure herself now would we?" James flicked his wand and the cage flew back up onto its table. He stood awkwardly by the doorway and when their eyes met, he hand flew to the back of his neck; Lily was starting to think that this was sort of a nervous tick for him. "What I wanted to say was that you're really good in this position and I hope that you will let me try and be just as good."

"Well no one is stopping you from doing your job, Potter," she stated automatically. "Just make sure that you enforce, and follow, the rules and everything should be fine."

His eyes twinkled with mischief as he replied that he would try his best. "You better get changed Evans, I reckon that we'll be there in less than an hour." Lily mentally slapped herself for forgetting and shuffled from the room to go change and meet up with her friends. By the time she got back from the loo, James had already settled back into his compartment and was laughing along with his friends and a joke that he had obviously just told. Although she didn't look in as she past, she could feel his eyes track her progress.

Once she reached Frank's compartment the blush had subsided some from her cheeks and she found Alice and Frank alone, enjoying a nice conversation about their Holidays. She smiled, only a little while longer and she would be home.


	5. Roommates

**Roommates **

With a sudden jerk the train pulled up to the Hogsmeade station and Lily heard the luggage shift around in the storage bins overhead. She could feel her excitement bubbling within her chest and hurried along with Alice out into the corridor to help direct the first years to where they needed to go. After explaining to a couple of frightened looking girls that their luggage would be brought up to the castle for them, Lily exited the train and heard a familiar voice ringing out over all of the students.

"Firs' years, this way! Firs' years over here! Oh hullo ther' Lily Evans; how ye' been?" Hagrid called out to her as the nervous first years stared up at the man that was three times their size.

"I've been okay Hagrid, I've been appointed Head Girl this year," she added with a smile while pushing two apprehensive boys toward him. She saw her prefects doing the same. Hagrid congratulated her and she flashed him a smile before urging the rest of the student body into the horseless carriages. Once everyone was safely on their way to the castle, Lily hoped in the last carriage only to be joined, at the last second, by James.

"Mind if I catch a ride Evans? It's a long walk and I don't fancy missing the feast," he smiled confidently and winked at her. "Those first years just seem to be getting small each year, don't they? I'm sure we weren't that small when we were 11."

Lily chuckled and nodded her head, adding something about how frightened they seemed to be here. She wondered how was it that she always ended up talking with James Potter especially when he was the cockiest boy that ever roamed the Hogwarts corridors. He was always showing off by playing with that stupid little snitch that he nicked; he wasn't even the bloody seeker, he was the chaser. Didn't people realize how silly that was?

And what was with him hexing Severus all the time? Sure they hadn't talked in about a year but that doesn't mean that Lily still didn't care about him. Severus had been Lily's only true friend growing up and it made her sad to think that they no longer talked; he didn't even know that her dad had died. She could feel her eyes begin to water and automatically felt herself repress all of her emotions. She was not going to lose her composure in front of James or anyone else; she would put a smile on her face and get through this ride and the feast and then she could sneak off to the bath to have a nice cry in the shower. One step at a time; she could do this.

"Evans, are you alright? You look… off," she could feel his eyes searching her but flashed him her patented smile to quell his curiosity.

"I'm fine, just tired is all," this lie flowed effortlessly from her tongue and she wondered how many times she had uttered it in the past month, "Just need a proper rest I suppose." He seemed to take her answer as truth, although he still eyed her worryingly. Suddenly, the carriage came to a stop and Lily was surprised at how quickly they had reached the castle. "Come on Potter, let's go enjoy the feast."

They hopped out into the dewy grass and Lily took a deep breath of the damp evening air; she had always secretly believed that Hogwarts was surrounded by different kind of air than anywhere else she had traveled to. She felt alive when she was here, surrounded by the beauty of the black lake, forbidden forest, and the giant castle; it was the only place she truly belonged now.

As everyone made their way through the large foyer and into the Great Hall, Lily was once again struck by the beauty of it. The four tables were in their usual spots spread equally throughout the room and one long table near the far wall housed all of the professors who sat there talking quietly until the students found their places. There were hundreds of sliver plated pieces of cutlery and dishes placed neatly on the tables and the halls were high and decorated thoroughly. Thousands of candles filled the air high above their heads which clouded the enchanted ceiling a little but Lily could still see the brilliant colours of the setting sun.

Halfway down the Gryffindor table, she found Alice sitting with her other dorm mates Cecilia Waters and Audrey Jordan. Cecilia was a short, plump girl who was quiet and shy but always dressed herself in the most fashionable clothing. Audrey, on the other hand was tall and well toned. She was a runner and had the leg muscles to prove it. Whenever she could, Audrey enjoyed motivating Lily to join her on her daily run around the grounds. Lily smiled at her friends and, voicing her greeting, dropped down onto the bench next to Alice.

"So tell me again Alice; how exactly did Frank word his sentence? It's very important," Cecilia felt herself to be rather an expert when it came to boys, even though she had only dated Joshua Brown for about a month last term. "His facial expressions also matter; if he said that 'it was good to see you' with a grin then that's excellent, but if he seemed distant and would not keep his eyes on you then that is an extremely bad sign."

Lily lost track of the conversation as her eyes devoured her returning classmates. Some, like the 1st and 2nd years, had changed an awful lot while others, like her fellow 7th years, it felt like she had just seen yesterday. A tall, gangly youth sitting at the Slytherin table caught her eye; seemed to have been looking at her but as she turned her head, Severus Snape seemed to be consumed in a conversation with the boy sitting to his right.

She quickly averted her gaze from her childhood friend and looked around her own table, her eyes eventually finding James. When had she become so apt to look at him? Shit. She was the one who fought him and made sure his ego didn't get too big for his body; why couldn't she stop looking at the way his hair gently lay down onto his forehead and at the same time stuck up randomly from the back?

Lily forced herself to look away from the back of James' head and to focus on the sorting that was taking place.

"Nyphadora Tonks," the name rang out from her Transfiguration teacher, McGonagall, and Lily wondered how they had already made it to the 'Ts'; had she really zoned out for that long? She joined in with the rest of her table as Nyphadora came to sit with the rest of the Gryffindors. Once the sorting was done, Dumbledore, the headmaster, stood up to say a few words.

"Wham-boozle. Frazznit. Hoozer." He grinned at the confused faces of the new students. "Welcome, now tuck-in!" His voice was still reverberating against the walls as the dinner platters and bowls in front of them filled with a glorious assortment of food. Lily reached for some steak and kidney pie. Everyone in sight were filling their plates to the brim and she couldn't help but wonder where some of the put it all. Remus, for example had a large amount of food, but he looked like a marathon runner; didn't boys ever gain any weight; it wasn't fair.

"Lily. Lily!" she was brought out of her day dreaming by Audrey nudging her arm. "Lily, what are you thinking so hard about?" She hadn't realized how noticeable she was being about her drifting thoughts.

"It was nothing really, just wondering how boys seem to be able to eat anything and still have the physic of star football players." Her declaration was met with rather shocked expressions from her dorm mates. "What? Am I the only one to think that?" She actually felt quite embarrassed about it now.

"Oh no," Cecilia assured her, "It's just that I, I mean we, never expected you to be concerned with it. I always thought of you as more of the 'thinking about Charms while day dreaming' kind of girl."

"No fair, I think about plenty of normal things!" She was feeling hurt that her friends thought of her as one giant bookworm.

"Like what Lil; I've never even heard you mention if a boy is cute or not the entire 6 years that we've been friends," Alice stated. That couldn't be true, could it? Lily thought back through her various conversations with her dorm mates and could remember plenty of times where she thought about how cute a boy was but could not remember actually voicing her opinions. "See, Lily? Do you understand a little bit where we are coming from?"

"I suppose so, but that doesn't mean that all I think about it class work! I have other concerns bouncing around in my head too!" They all laughed and continued the meal poking fun at each other. Lily had really missed these girls and she was glad that at least they had this final year of living together before they had to enter the real world. All she really wanted to do now was to get upstairs to her familiar room, her comfy bed, and sleep until morning.

Dumbledore stood up and a hush spread throughout the hall. "Welcome back to all returning students, and welcome to our newest group of eager learners. I have a few start-of-term notices before I am able to release you to your warm beds. First off, I would like to remind you that the forbidden forest is off limits to all students," his eyes swept over the four marauders. "Secondly, Mr. Filtch would like me to remind everyone that Magic is strictly banned from use in the corridors between classes. Lastly, it is my unfortunate duty to communicate to you the importance of keeping a close eye out for any of your loved ones acting strange; there is a war brewing outside of these castle walls and strange behavior is very closely related to the Imperised. Please report it to a professor immediately if one of your relatives, or even a school classmate, starts to act unusual. Well enough of such dreadful concerns for one night, you may all go and reunite yourselves with your comfortable beds."

With that, the students cheered and stood up in a collective wave. Lily could hear her prefects shouting for the first years and took a step to follow them in order to direct new students in the proper direction of their common rooms. Before she should make it more than ten steps, however, she heard a crisp, stern voice call out behind her.

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter! Wait right there for a moment, would you?" McGonagall was moving toward them as quickly as the crowd would permit her. Once the majority of students had made it out of the Great Hall, McGonagall was finally able to pull them aside.

"What is it professor, have we done something wrong already?" James face held a bit of guilt, as if he were about to deny his involvement in any misdoings.

"Oh, don't be silly Mr. Potter. I'm just here to show you to your new suite." Lily felt her mind go blank. She must have misheard what McGonagall had said.

"Come again professor? What do you mean when you say 'suite'?" James' face was blank and he ran his hand through the back of his hair, ruffling the already untidy mess.

"Well dears, didn't you know that the Head Girl and Boy have their own area of the castle? How else would Heads from different houses be able to over come their differences in order to create a harmonious work partnership? It has been so since the very creation of Hogwarts!" She looked as though she were explaining how to levitate an object for the first time. "Haven't either of you ever read Hogwarts: A History? It is mentioned at least once."

Lily racked her brain for any instance in which she had heard of such a place. She had read the bloody book but could not fathom missing such a huge part of her new job. "Since we are both Gryffindors, couldn't we just stay in our own dorm and work together there?" It was worth a shot.

"Don't be preposterous Ms. Evans, I have seen how the two of you interact; you're even worse than last years Slytherin/ Gryffindor pair of students. No I must insist that you both utilize this Head's suite. Now let us get a move on, I'm sure you both are extremely tired."

Lily could feel her body respond to McGonagall's command but her mind was drifting up towards Gryffindor tower where her friends sat waiting for her. She had really been looking forward to being with them and having them there in case she woke up to another night terror about the parents. Now who would she run to? Potter? No, he was not the person she would pick to live with if she had a choice. How had she ended up in such a situation?

They came out of a passageway onto the 7th floor. McGonagall walked them down the hall to a painting on a stretch of wall where, Lily assumed, was directly between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers. She told them both to pay attention and Lily stared intently as McGonagall tickled the stomach of a little boy sitting beneath an apple tree. The boy giggled and asked for the password which McGonagall replied with 'Newton'. The portrait swung forward to permit them all into Lily's new prison. They needed to go through a short tunnel which then opened up into a quaint little common room.

It was styled very much like the Gryffindor common room; a large fireplace, two of the same squishy armchairs, a small coffee table, and a couple of desks pushed up against the walls. There were two separate sets of stairs leading up to the right and to the left and one door in between them. Lily thought that it must be a broom closet but when she went to explore it, her breath caught in her chest. Swinging around to face her professor, Lily had to restrain herself from shouting.

"We have to share a bathroom?" She felt her cheeks reddening at the thought of sharing a shower with James Potter. How was she ever going to get through this year?

"Yes Ms. Evans. You are both adults and I am sure that you can work this out. Mr. Potter, yours is the room to the right and Ms. Evans, your room is to the left. Now one last thing before I leave you alone. Er.. I want you both know that even though you are of opposite sex and that young people often get urges… that," she coughed awkwardly and Lily could feel her cheeks blaze with colour, "that does not mean that you can, er, share a bedroom. You are the Heads of your class and will conduct your behavior as such." McGonagall was also quite red in the face and could not seem to be able to look at either of her young pupils.

"You don't have to worry about that Professor McGonagall, I would not share a room with him if he were the last boy alive." Lily couldn't believe that they had just gotten the sex talk from McGonagall.

"Well, that's very nice to hear," she shuffled her feet and then threw back her shoulders while looking at them both in the eyes. "You are both my Gryffindors and I expect you to work out your differences. Good night to you both and I will see you in the morning." As she turned to leave, Lily could have sworn that she heard Minerva utter something about not killing each other but she couldn't be sure.

The noise of the portrait hole closing seemed to knock out the breath in her; she was now alone with James Potter. They would be living together. For an entire term. She chanced a look at him and saw that he still looked rather pink from their unexpected sex talk. He was rubbing his neck awkwardly and tried to flash her a grin once she caught his eye but she was already moving.

"Well, I've got to go owl Alice, I'm sure she's worried. I'll see you in the morning I suppose." She dashed up the stairs, leaving a very confused boy behind in her wake. She couldn't believe that she had to share a suite with the most obnoxious, egotistical, well toned boy with untidy black hair and a smile that could make anyone melt. Shit. She was in trouble.


	6. Friends

**I'd just like to take a moment to thank those of you reading this story and to give a special shout out to my two reviewers! It means so much that you guys like my writing! :] I'll try to get more chapters finished quickly for you! I hope you like this next one.**

**~Aubrey**

**Friends**

Lily cursed herself for forgetting about the shared bathroom situation. It was 8 o'clock the morning after the welcome back feast and Lily had to pee. She looked down at her sleepwear and wondered if it was appropriate; her shorts were a little too short so she decided to throw on a pair of big, grey pyjama bottoms just in case Potter was up. Lily walked cautiously down the stairs and peeked around the corner, unsure of what she would say if he was sitting in the common area. Luckily, he seemed to still be sleeping and she decided that it was now or never to use the loo and shower without having an awkward run-in. She ran quietly back up her stairwell and grabbed the necessary items before descending once more and creeping into the bathroom.

Her nerves were fried after exchanging owls with Alice for half the night. She didn't know what to do; what would her father think about her living with a boy? She froze. Lily tried to exhale but found that her throat seemed blocked. She shed her clothing and turned on the water to cold; stepping into the freezing temperature shocked her system and she could feel herself forgetting about everything else except for the cold water pounding on her head and back. Once she had calmed down, Lily flipped on the warm water and sighed in relief as her body welcomed the warmer temperature.

She forced her mind to stray onto the way the blue tiles flowed in entrancing circles around their beige counterparts throughout the wall. This was safe; live in the present and lose track of the things that hurt. It had always helped her before and Lily fully intended for it to take over again.

As soon as she felt ready, Lily clamored out of the bath and dried herself off. She threw on her knickers and bra and took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She used to feel that her stomach was rather tiny but looking at herself now, Lily was surprised by how thin she was looking. She could see the faint outlines of her ribs stretching the skin over them; she wondered if anyone else noticed. Food just seemed so inedible after that morning; Lily could still see the table set up with eggs and toast, her father's usual crossword puzzle lay beside his tea, just as his body lay sprawled out on the ground. In that moment, her magical powers had failed her for the second time in her life; when death came, there was no stopping it.

She could feel the gasps of air exhale her lungs with each sob that shook her frame; her arms folded around herself as she sat on the toilet lid and tried to be quite. She would never know how her father felt about her living with a boy. She would never hear him say that he loved her or that she was his little flower ever again. Her chest felt like it was on fire; like it was being torn away from her body by some unseen demon. Shit, this hurt so badly. The tears leaked down her cheeks as she bit her lip trying to not let any sounds escape.

After what felt like eternity, Lily could feel herself calming down. She could breathe again and her mind had gone blissfully blank after running over and over each sad thought. She dismissed the idea of throwing on her old dirty clothes and slung her towel around herself. Gathering up her clothes, Lily pushed open the door and stepped out into the bright common room. She froze in shock.

It seems that James had woken up while she had been in the loo; did he hear her crying? She unconsciously wiped at her face. He had looked up at her as the door opened and had been halfway through saying 'good morning' before his brain recognized what he was looking at. Slowly, his gaze drifted from her wet hair, to her puffy pink face, down to the bra straps sticking out from the towel and finally resting on the spot where her towel met her leg.

She let a squeak of freight escape her lips before turning away from him and running up to her room. How could she have been so stupid? Of course it was late enough for him to be up! Why hadn't she just put on her old clothes? The look on his face was priceless; and remembering the way he had stared made Lily blush an even darker red. She wouldn't be surprised if her face matched her hair at the moment.

Lily dressed quickly and threw her school supplies into her bag. She was determined not to have to come back here during her day, especially after the disaster that just occurred. Christ! She had such great luck.

Lily cracked open the door and listened intently to see if she could hear James downstairs at all. The only sound that she could hear, though, was her own breathing. Just then a watery 'swooshing' sound broke the silence, making her jump. Lily smiled; he had just turned on the shower. She pushed herself off of the doorway and stepped lightly on each step, trying to avoid the creeks that old floorboards often made.

Once she reached the bottom stair and saw that James was indeed in the loo, Lily made a run for the door and didn't stop until she had reached the Great Hall. Luckily, Alice was there waiting for her.

"Oh Lil, I missed you so much last night! I can't believe you have to live in that suite and with Potter no less! How was it? Did you see him this morning; was it awkward?" Lily felt her cheeks colour as she remembered the events of this morning. She filled her best friend in and was outraged as Alice began to laugh.

"It's not funny Ali, what am I going to do?" she could feel the desperation setting in. How would she ever be able to look James in the face knowing that he had seen her in nothing but a towel and her knickers?

"Excuse me ladies, but this is a place for eating, not for yelling. I would think both of you, holding such prestigious positions in this school, would know this." Professor McGonagall had been pacing up and down the Gryffindor table handing out this term's schedules when she heard the two girls causing a ruckus.

"We're sorry professor, it won't happen again," they both hung their heads in mock guilt.

"Well see to it that it doesn't. Now here are your 7th year schedules; finish your meal and head there straight away." She stalked off as the two of them tried to stifle their giggles.

"Let's see, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, we have double Charms followed by a free period. After that is Defense Against the Dark Arts and lunch. Then it's double Herbology in the after noon followed by another free break and Astrology only on Wednesday nights. Tuesday and Thursday we start our day off with Double Potions, Transfiguration, and then lunch. After that it looks like History of Magic and Care of Magical Creatures until dinner." Lily was happy with her class schedule until she realized that she would have class with the other 7th years, including one that she was determined to avoid. Gathering up their book bags, Alice and Lily headed off to the Charms corridor.

"But seriously Ali, what am I going to do? I can't escape him!" She plopped down into her chair and slung her bag down by her feet. They were at least 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the students but that gave the two of the ample time to talk.

"I don't know Lily, do you think you could just talk to him about it?" She sounded hesitant because Alice knew her friend wasn't much of a 'talk your feelings out' kind of girl.

"I might have to… but what should I do until then? He'll be in this class with us and, Christ, he's seen me in a towel. Oh my god, I'm so mortified." Lily buried her head in her arms; she could feel her cheeks and neck warming from the sudden rush of blood. Alice put her hand on her back consolingly.

"Just think about it like this Lil, he could have seen you in a whole lot less… it's almost like you were wearing a dress."

"I guess so," she had neglected to mention to Alice about her crying fit that had preceded the towel incident; "maybe it hadn't even phased him. I'm sure, with his reputation, he's seen girls in a lot less?" Lily wondered if Alice would pick up on the hidden question that she had slipped in but just at that moment the door opened and in walked Remus, Sirius Black, and James.

"Why hullo there Evans," Sirius gave her his customary wink and walked to his usual table behind hers. She tried to figure out if James had told them about that morning but Sirius made no jokes referencing that he had. She looked at James, who had stumbled a little bit when he saw that she was in there, and wished she hadn't the moment that their eyes met. His face and posture were composed as if he felt indifferent about her, but a dark pink dusted his cheeks while his eyes betrayed a range of emotions. She was still trying to figure them all out when he broke the contact and went, without a word to her, to his seat.

Lily could feel confusion seep through her but could do nothing as the classroom began to fill up with her fellow N.E.W.T. students. She looked over at Alice and received a shrug, her own feelings mirrored back at her but Professor Flitwick had already started their lesson and she found no opportunity to speak.

The class passed without any problems, although Lily swore she could feel James' eyes on her throughout the entire lecture but when she would turn to glance at him, he was always focused on the professor or scribbling in his notes. She was so thrown by his behavior that she rushed out of class to avoid another awkward staring contest.

She spent her free period working in the library but just as soon as she would start to make progress on the essay that Flitwick had assigned, her mind would drift onto the very boy she was trying to avoid. Ever since their forth year, James had never missed an opportunity to ask Lily on a date and now he wouldn't even say hi to her. She couldn't get it to make any sense in her mind. Did she look bad in a towel? Insecurities flew around inside her mind and she half convinced herself that she was hideous before a thought struck her: why did she care about what James Potter thought of her?

After all of these years, James was finally proving to her that he was just as shallow and egotistical as she thought he was. Well, fine then. If he didn't like the sight of her in a towel then toss him. Lily was so riled up that, by the time Defense Against the Dark Arts started, she was ready to hex him. She stormed into the classroom and took her seat next to Alice without even glancing around.

"What's got your knickers in a bunch Lil?" She liked to poke fun at Lily's mood swings whenever they were this severe; it tended to make them pass quicker. "Has someone stolen your favorite quill again?"

"Everything's fine, I just cannot live with such an arse. How could McGonagall do this to me? I thought she rather liked me to be honest." Lily heard James laugh at something that Remus had said and resisted the urge to snap at them to be quiet.

"Listen, Lily, I know you have this idea that you two can't possibly get past this, but maybe living with him won't be so terrible. I mean, he is rather handsome, and he hasn't asked you out yet; that's a plus, right?"

Lily opened her mouth to protest against such an idea and to present her theories about why James didn't talk to her in Charms, but Alice had already started talking again. "Just give it a try, won't you? Maybe he really didn't mean anything by not saying hi this morning; maybe he was even just as embarrassed as you were by that whole situation and he just didn't want you to yell at him."

She sat there and thought over what Alice had said the entire lesson, they were studying patronuses and Lily had been able to produce one for about a year now. Maybe she _was_ over thinking the whole situation. Could she have misread all of his actions this morning? She took a glance at James but couldn't discern anything from him. Perhaps she should follow Alice's advice and talk to him.

Lunch and Herbology seemed to drag on and Lily couldn't focus on any of the subject matter without her mind drifting back to her new suitemate. He was present in all of her classes today but they had no interaction; she was becoming increasingly annoyed by this and was in a foul mood by dinner time.

Lily was so confused by his sudden coolness toward her that she resolved to talk to him about the towel incident. Although it would be awkward, nothing could be worse than not knowing why he was avoiding her. Fueled by her new plan, she bid farewell to her friends after dinner and made her way back to the Head's common room.

Upon reaching the entrance, Lily tickled the little boy hesitantly and spoke the password when prompted. She made her way through the short tunnel and was half hoping that James would be there because she had seen him exit the Great Hall at least 15 minutes before her. She was disappointed, however, when she walked into an empty room. Lily noticed that his bag was resting by one of the desks; perhaps he was in his bedroom? She called up the stairs for him but silence was her only reply.

Sitting in one of the squishy armchairs by the fire, Lily pulled out her assignments, having decided to work while she awaited his return. She thought that he would be back quickly, but soon her homework was finished and she was left staring at the flames as they licked at the wood.

Lily glanced at the clock sitting on the mantle of the fire; it was nearing nine o'clock, where was he? She let her mind wander and relax as she curled up in the chair.

"Evans?" Lily jerked awake as the sound interrupted her dreams. She glanced at the clock to see that it was five minutes until eleven. "What are you doing down here?" James stood by the entrance, his broom slung over his right shoulder and his hair swept around at odd angles. So that's where he'd been: flying. It figured.

"Well," she gathered some courage to start this conversation, "I was…I was waiting for you. If I had known you would be out half the night, I wouldn't have bothered." James looked surprised by her words and nervously worked his hand through the back of his hair.

"Why would you be waiting for me?" He chuckled but looked suddenly on edge, like he was waiting for a telling off from his mother. Lily Evans usually only sought a conversation with James when she was about to yell at him for doing something stupid.

"I, well, I just wanted to talk to you about what happened this morning." She was rushing to get the words out because talking about things had never been a strong trait of hers. "I just thought that we, I mean myself… that I was really embarrassed this morning and then you didn't even say anything to me today. And I was just wondering if maybe it was because I looked awful in my towel and that you had decided that it wasn't really worth your effort anymore." Shit. She hadn't meant to say that part but her insecurities were practically bubbling inside of her. Maybe he didn't understand that the last part was referring to his many attempts to date her.

James had started laughing. Lily could feel her cheeks turn pink again and she wondered how anyone could blush this much in one day. She eyed him as he walked over to the other armchair and sat down. He leaned toward her and for the first time ever, they were only a few inches apart. Lily's breath caught in her throat as she gazed into his warm hazel eyes that glimmered with amusement.

"Evans, listen closely, because I'm only going to tell you this once:" she could feel his warm breath on her cheek, "you look great in a towel." He started laughing again and Lily swatted him on the arm.

"You're such a tosser," she tried to suppress the grin that was forming on her face but couldn't. James seemed to notice and relaxed into his chair now that he knew she wouldn't be telling him off.

"As for why I didn't talk to you was because I thought you would have been furious with me. I wanted to avoid a big row on our first day of classes." He winked at her and she felt her stomach flutter.

"I suppose that makes sense but it really wasn't your fault, I should have realized that since we share this space, you might have been in here. It's weird right," she started to voice her opinion, "it's weird that we didn't know about having to live together." Lily noticed that James' smile faltered just a little bit but he nodded.

"It was definitely a surprise." He hesitated for a moment. "Evans?" She was caught off guard by his intense tone.

"Yeah Potter?"

"I've been meaning to ask you something." Her heart thumped in side of her chest and she was sure that he could hear it; was he going to ask her out again? How could she turn him down gently? She had thought that maybe he would resist since they were now Heads of the school together. This wasn't fair of him.

"And what question is that?" she could hear a hint of frostiness enter her voice and he seemed to pick up on it because he sat up and leaned toward her again. Did he know just how much he was affecting her heartbeat at the moment?

"Evans, would you consider… being my friend?" She laughed in his face; she couldn't help it. That was not what she had expected. James looked impassively at her laughing fit but she could see the hurt in his eyes; he was being serious. Lily struggled to regain her breath. "It's just that I thought that being friends would be better than constantly battling each other. I'm a pretty great friend if you give me the chance to be."

She took a moment to think about his proposal; he did seem to be sincere and she thought that being friends might not be the worst thing in the world. "Potter, since you asked so eloquently, I accept your offer of friendship." She smiled over at him and his eyes brightened.

"Does that mean that you'll feel comfortable enough to walk around in towels more often, because, I wouldn't want any friend of mine to have to wear clothes if she didn't want to." She laughed at his joke and shoved his shoulder a little bit while blushing at the idea. Damn him and his ability to make her smile so much. Her worries from earlier in the day had disappeared; she curled back up in her armchair as James continued talking. If you had asked her two years ago, Lily would have told you that she would never be friends with James Potter, but here she was: sitting with that very boy in front of their very own fireplace, joking and laughing. She smiled at how life had a funny way of changing when you least expected it.


	7. Marauders

**Hello all, I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter. I ran into a bit of writers block and couldn't get the words out correctly. Thank you to everyone who is reading this and who sent a review my way; I love them all and am working on the suggestions that everyone had. :] Thank you all for reading. I hope you like this one,**

**Aubrey**

**Marauders **

Being friendly toward James Potter was such a new experience for her that Lily found herself obsessing over everything that happened when they interacted. She would fret about what she said, what tone she said it in, and all of the things that she should have said instead.

Never before had she worked so hard to make sure that a person liked her; Lily reasoned that it was only because she didn't want to remind him that up until now she couldn't look at him without glaring.

Other than that, Lily found herself genuinely enjoying James' company and even thought him to be quite funny. For the past few years, she had only focused on his bad qualities, because everyone else seemed too eager to ignore them; she would have row after row with him about hexing other students, his practical jokes that went too far, and his general lack of compassion for other people. Each seemed like a major offense to her and she often wondered why she was the only one willing to do anything about it.

Now that they were conversing on a daily basis, though, she could see different aspects of his personality start to show. James had an ability to find humor in any situation; he was never sad and often made Lily feel better after long days. He would wait for her in the morning and they would walk to the Great Hall together before splitting to sit with their friends and in the evening he would never head to bed without a 'goodnight Evans'.

In the week since they had agreed to be friends, the student body couldn't help but notice some changes as well. No longer did Lily scowl whenever James walked into a room, their legendary rows had disappeared from the corridors, and some students had even spotted the two of them walking on the grounds together.

Every now and then, someone would pluck up the courage to ask Lily if she had finally said yes to one of James' attempts to date her. She would always scoff at them and say that, while they were friends now, she would never be so naïve to date him. Lily Evans was a girl possessing more sense than that.

Lily awoke with a start. The sun shone through the crack in her scarlet curtains and light sparkled off of the various reflective surfaces around her room. She had decorated her new living space with the few things that once resided in her childhood home.

Mostly, these consisted of muggle portraits of her parents and sister that hung on the wall next to the magical moving pictures of her school friends. She noticed one of Severus waving her a gloomy good morning and she felt her heart stutter. She missed him.

Why was it so bright, she wondered and had a moment of dread when she thought that she had missed her morning classes; why hadn't James woken her up? Her pulse gradually slowed when she remembered that it was Saturday; the first weekend of term. How should she spend her day?

Perhaps she could go for a walk with Alice later, or maybe she should start on her assignments… no, that could wait until tomorrow.

Lily pushed back her covers and climbed out of bed shivering slightly at the sudden loss of warmth that her sheets had provided. She stretched and crossed to her wardrobe to grab her towel and clothes for the day; why waste the sunlight sleeping any longer, it was already 10 after all.

On her way down the stairs, she wondered if James was one of those boys to sleep all weekend or if he would be up. She peeked out from her stairwell and, sure enough, James was sitting in one of the arm chairs by the fire with his broom lying by his feet.

His hair was untidy and he wore dark grey sweat pants and a tightly fitting black shirt. Lily could see the muscles of his biceps bulge slightly under the dark fabric and wondered how she could have missed them before.

"Good morning," her voice was cracked from sleep. "I wasn't sure if you'd be awake."

"Morning Evans, nice hair," he had turned to her at the sound of her approach and flashed her a grin before turning his attention back to the fire.

She tried to brush out the knots from her hair the minute he turned away. "Are you going flying today?"

He glanced at her again and winked, "What else would I be doing now that I've been named Captain? I've got to make sure these O.W.L. students know who the boss is."

She shook her head and smirked, "you're just afraid of being shown up by some second year at your own tryouts aren't you."

"Evans! How dare you insinuate that I would let such a thing happen?" He grabbed his chest in mock pain.

"I only call it like I see it," she winked at him and dodged the ball of crumpled parchment that he threw at her. To her surprise, conversation between them came naturally and she was glad that they could joke and laugh with ease.

"I will get you back for that comment Evans." He looked back into the fire and seemed to be contemplating something big. When he looked back at her, his eyes were just a bit darker. "Do you have any plans for the day?"

She was a little taken aback by this sudden change of subject but answered truthfully that she had none at the moment. He ran his hand through the back of his hair as he replied.

"Would you… would you be interested in hanging out with me and the guys this afternoon?" His words rushed out so quickly that Lily wondered if she had heard him correctly. "It's just that, since we're friends now, maybe we should try and hangout with each other… outside of the common room. The stupid gits seem to think that I'm lying so I thought that it would just be easier to show them that we're getting along."

"When you say 'guys', who is it that you mean exactly?" His friends were just as obnoxious as James and she wasn't sure if she could handle being with them after years of avoidance.

"Well, really it would just be me, Lupin, Peter, and… Sirius." He looked a little worried, was it because he could see the hesitation in her face, and rushed on to quell her fears. "They're really not bad; I just want you to give them the same chance that you gave me. I'd like to be able to bring them by here without worrying about if you hate them or not."

She could feel her face flush as she realized how much this might mean to him. "Alright."

"What?" she had mumbled and his eyes found hers.

"I said alright; what time were you thinking about?" She felt a nervous bubble of anticipation building as he kept her gaze. It was broken the moment that he smiled and grabbed his broom from the floor as he stood up.

"After lunch we will meet you in here if that's okay," She nodded dumbly. How had she gotten roped into spending the afternoon with the Marauders? A week ago she would never have voluntarily spent free time with any of them, aside from Lupin.

James was already heading to the entrance hole, ready to head out for his ride. "Potter?" He turned, "we won't be doing anything against the rules will we?" She had her reputation as Head Girl to worry about.

"No Evans, this time all we'll be doing is getting to know you." His eyes gleamed and Lily couldn't help but notice that he said 'this time' and wondered if she was making the wrong decision to go this afternoon. He seemed to guess this and before she could change her mind, had tossed a 'see you after lunch' over his shoulder and was out the door.

Lily shrugged; nothing that she could do now. Turning on her heel, she went into the loo and showered. Her thoughts were consumed with the mystery of this afternoon and the four boys that she would have to interact with. Could she tolerate them? Was this all just a ruse on her? Would they use this time to prank her or make fun of her?

She was driving herself mad with all of the things that could happen so Lily decided to head over to Gryffindor tower to see if Alice, Audrey, or Cecilia were there. Luckily the password hadn't changed since Alice and Lupin had chosen it on the train and she made her way easily into the familiar common room.

Lily was greeted by her fellow Gryffindors who were up and occupying the room. She walked to the stairway that led to the room that had once been her favorite place at Hogwarts. Opening the door, she couldn't help but remember some of the times that had happened there and which strengthened the bond between her and its residences.

Cecilia sat on her bed the night that she had had her first kiss and the other three girls had to hold back their jealousy to be happy for her and find out exactly how they were supposed to snog a boy. Audrey once sat crying when her OWLs became too stressful and everyone had comforted her before helping her study. Even Alice had burst in one day exceedingly happy after she had had her first conversation with Frank Longbottom; Lily remembered that she had sworn that day to marry him and she giggled.

This had been the room in which she told her three best friends that her mother was dead and they all sat in a circle with tears falling down their cheeks utterly lost for any words that could help.

Lily was brought short of her reminiscing by Audrey who had spotted her from by the wardrobe.

"Hullo Lily, what's up?"

"Just looking to see if anyone was around," she crossed to her old bed which sat tidy from not being slept in, "where are Cecilia and Alice?"

"I think that Ceci is in the Owlry and…" she hesitated with a grin, "Alice is on a walk with Frank. She thought she would sneak out early this morning but I saw her getting ready and mumbling to herself about it."

"Well it's about time that he decided to ask her to hang out." It seemed like everyone could tell that those two liked each other except each other.

Audrey nodded her head, "she's going to be a bloody handful tonight though, be glad you won't have to be here; I doubt she'll be able to sleep for days from the excitement."

"I believe it; do you remember the time that he asked her to borrow a quill during Charms? She had a fit after he thanked her when he returned it and I think she might still have it somewhere around here." Looking around the room, the girls spotted it on Alice's desk and burst into a fit of giggles.

Just then, Cecilia walked through the door. "What's so funny?" They laughed even harder and Lily was almost crying from the strain.

Once they each calmed down enough and were able to share their amusing discovery with Ceci, it was her turn to laugh. She tossed her curly blond hair and gasped on the air forcing itself out of her lungs.

Through their remaining giggles, the girls decided to wander the castle for a bit, just to get reacquainted with it, and they left without a care of where they ended up. They were walking through the 3rd floor corridor when Audrey brought up the subject of James.

"So how is being a friend with Potter working out? Everyone is talking about it."

"I don't know. He seems rather polite this year; I haven't seen him hex anyone yet at least." She shrugged her shoulders and continued in a falsely calm voice, "He asked me to hang out with him and the rest of the marauders after lunch toady."

Her friends were so surprised that they actually stopped walking. Cecilia was the first to regain her voice, "Are you going to do it?"

"I don't think I have a choice… I mean I don't really fancy hanging out with them all after noon but Potter seemed pretty insistent and I wouldn't want to start a row over something so trivial." Audrey stared at her.

"Remus and Peter might not be so bad but Sirius and James? They are the worst; do you remember that time that James hexed Joshua just because Sirius said he was bored? What kind of respectable person does that?" She sounded upset by the thought but Lily knew if might have something to do with her no-so-secret-crush on Joshua.

"Don't you think they might just be trying to, I don't know, get you in trouble or something; this is the first time that I can remember them inviting someone to hang around with them."

Lily was surprised, that couldn't be true could it? "Oh Ceci, that's not true. These boys are the most popular blokes in our year; they hang out with plenty of people. Besides, he promised me that there would be no rule breaking."

"No Lil, they hang out with groups of people," she was explaining it to her in a very slow voice as if she were missing an important point. "These boys are notorious for throwing large parties with a lot of people. They do not invite others to hang around with them for the after noon; it just doesn't happen."

Audrey was nodding in agreement as Lily continued to ponder what her friend had stated and the implication that her afternoon plans might have. "Why would Potter invite me then? Do you think I should go?"

Her friends looked at each other and then back at her. "I think that… that it would be better for you to go, but you have to just watch out when you're with them." Audrey seemed hesitant.

Cecilia was grinning a little bit. "You have to tell us everything though! If you go with them, I forbid you from keeping us out of the loop."

Lily smiled, "Alright, alright. I promise to let you girls know all of the inside secrets that the marauders decided to shared with me, as long as I come back alive, that is." She was secretly a little glad to have her friends' blessings; the marauders were mysterious and she was intrigued.

As they were talking, the girls had ended up at the astronomy tower; they decided to duck outside, because it had the best view of the grounds, and stood by the ledge looking around. Lily could see the shape of the giant squid sun bathing near the surface of the lake, her classmates roaming the grounds, and the shape of certain people she knew flying near the Quidditch pitch.

She watched the figures weave and dive chasing small circular items that flew in every direction. One person stood out in particular because of his perfect form and windswept black hair. James had always been a natural flyer; Lily had always secretly admired his athletic skills but would never have been caught dead admitting it.

"Oh look! I can see Alice and Frank!" Audrey was smiling and pointed over to a cozy little secluded spot located halfway around the lakes edge. "I wonder if they're having a nice time."

"It looks like they're sitting pretty close to each other… bloody hell; are they snogging?" Lily could feel something akin to pride as she squinted over at her best friend; Alice had been dying to kiss Frank for the longest time.

"Perhaps we shouldn't stare; we wouldn't want to deprive Alice of sharing everything with us later." At Cecilia's words, the other two averted their gazes and Lily's eyes once again drifted to the flyers at the Quidditch pitch.

"Do you suppose that I'm doing the right thing? Trying to be his friend and everything?" The other two looked confused but followed her gaze. Cecilia made the connection first.

"I think that you're acting in a very… mature manner. I wouldn't have believed it possible for you to ever get over disliking him, but I'm glad you finally have."

"Yeah Lil, I think that it will be good for you. Loathing someone can really put a strain on a person and so far this year you seem... happier without the burden."

"Really?" Lily couldn't comprehend it. This past month and a half had been the worst time of her entire life. Her father was dead. She had no home left to go back to. She was all alone. Had she really been acting more cheerful; was that disrespectful to her father's memory? She felt herself spinning out of control again and her friends worked to sooth her fears.

"Oh Lil, don't worry about it. It's just nice to see you smiling after what happened over the summer. I can't even begin to imagine how much pain you must be in but the one thing that I'm sure of is that your dad would be overjoyed to see you putting the past aside and making new friends."

Cecilia squeezed her hand as a tear broke away down Lily's cheek. Audrey joined her friends and they all embraced.

"Thank you; it's just that some days seem so familiar here that it's hard for me to remember that he's gone and when it finally catches up with me again all of the pain comes back in full force."

"I know Lil; just remember that we'll always be here for you, alright? You're like our sister and we're just glad to see you smile, even if it is just because you and Potter aren't fighting every other day." Audrey winked at her friend and jokingly shoved her in the shoulder.

"I love you girls; you know that right?" They smiled gently back at her.

"We know. We love you too Lily." After another quick hug, they decided that is was about time for lunch; students from all over the grounds were making their way back into the castle. Lily took one last wistful glance at the boys still gliding over the Quidditch pitch and then hurried through the open doors after her friends.

Lunch was a cheerful affair. Alice joined up with them about halfway through and could not conceal her glee as Frank took a seat next to her. Every so often Lily would catch them looking shyly at one another, even though they were pretending like they didn't just spend the morning snogging by the lake.

Lily looked up as James entered the Hall with his three best mates and she could feel the nerves in her stomach start to wiggle. He caught her eye and winked before heading to an open spot halfway down the table. She finished her meal quickly and decided to head back to her room alone in order to gather her courage and pull on a jumper.

She had just finished brushing her teeth when a couple of loud shouts sounded in the short passageway by the entrance. Lily quickly sat down and pulled out a book to make it look like she had not been waiting on the boys.

The first one to enter was James; he had his back to the common room and was directing the other three's attention to different aspects around the room like a museum tour guide.

"And over to your left you will see the studious Miss Evans sitting by our luxurious fire place." Something about the way in which James said 'our' made her stomach flip unexpectedly.

"Hullo Evans, do you make a hobby out of reading upside down?" Sirius black flashed her a wink and Lily realized that she had accidentally opened the book the wrong way. She flushed a bright pink but tried her best to come up with a witty remark.

"I find that by reading the words upside down, I concentrate more on the meaning instead of just getting it over with." That was lame. So lame. She flushed a bit deeper as Sirius laughed.

"Only you, Evans, would be such a book worm to voluntarily read a text book upside down." Sirius was by far the most handsome boy at Hogwarts and Lily could understand why. His dark hair, tall stature, laughing eyes, and gleeful boyish grin could attract any girl within a mile radius.

James had been watching the entire interaction with sharp eyes and brought his friends' attention back to him with a little cough.

"Well now that we are all here, should we get going?" James seemed a little bit nervous about this after noon and kept running his hand through the back of his hair. The others nodded and Lily stood up from her seat while waving a hullo to Remus and Peter.

"Where are we going?" Lily was genuinely curious to what the marauders would share with her.

"It's a surprise Lily. We're not allowed to tell you." Remus gave her a kind smile before gently pushing her toward the entrance. He seemed a little weak and Lily did a mental check of when the next full moon would be: this week. Poor Remus, she wondered if the other three knew about his condition; they would have to be pretty thick if they didn't recognize the signs but nobody else in their year seemed to catch on so she wouldn't have been surprised if they didn't.

"Yeah Lily, it's a surprise." Peter was a plump boy to whom Lily had never really talked to. He seemed to worship the ground that James and Sirius walked on and she had never tried to make the effort but she smiled at him kindly to which he beamed back.

"Prongs, did you get the stuff that we talked about?" Lily was confused as to whom Remus was addressing but before she could ask, James opened his mouth.

"Yeah Moony, we're all set." He took the lead out into the corridor and Lily followed along behind in silence, listening to the boys as they bantered back and forth. James took an unexpected left and Lily stepped into a hidden passage way that she never knew existed. Following this path, they reached took a number of different turns and she was surprised when Sirius pushed open a small door which lead straight out into the grounds.

"How did you know that passageway was there? That took a good five minutes less than it usually does to get outside!"

"Evans, this is what we do. Ever since our first year, it has been our main focus to unlock the secrets of this castle and, I'm happy to say, since it's our 7th year we've found out a ton of useful information." Sirius puffed out his chest as he spoke and Lily found herself relaxing into the conversation.

As they walked, she noticed that students would stop talking to watch the five of them as they passed and she felt her face flush with all of the attention. Was it really such a big deal to everyone if she was actually spending the afternoon with them?

After a couple of minutes, Lily noticed that they were making their way toward the Lake and wondered for another time where they would be going. After reaching the bank, James made another sudden turn and led the others into a patch of dense trees near by. There was a small little path that Lily assumed was used by the local deer to travel through the dense branches.

At one point she tripped and fell; Peter helped her up as Sirius laughed and Lily noticed that James swatted him on the shoulder before continuing on their way. Finally after about ten more minutes, Lily followed the boys through a small opening of trees and was greeted by a spectacular view.

James had led them to a little stretch of bank on the lake that was shielded from view of the castle. The grass was a rich green and flowers of every different variety were waving in the small breeze that drifted off of the lake. She tore her eyes from the flowers and turned to the lake which was glittering in the mid-afternoon sunlight; it was as if thousands of diamonds were floating along the surface and twinkling up at her.

The boys had already settled down under the shade of a large willow tree and were looking around; her eyes met with hazel and she realized that James had been watching her gawk for the past few minutes. She flushed a little and went to join them in under the tree.

"What do you think Lily?" Remus looked less sick here; he seemed content as another breeze ruffled his hair.

"It's lovely, how did you four ever find it? I never even knew that this part of the lake existed." She beamed around at them and her mind stuttered for a moment over the realization that she felt comfortable with these boys. How strange.

"Oh Prongs found it," Peter supplied helpfully; "he's always had a knack for finding the best spots." She could hear the admiration in his voice as he spoke.

"Well Potter, I must say that I'm impressed; this place is so beautiful, it's like a dream." James beamed at the compliment and rubbed the back of his hair.

"It was just something that I stumbled upon once, way back when. I'm glad you like it though." He glanced at her before turning to gaze upon the lake. Lily noticed that his cheeks seemed a bit red.

An awkward silence filled the clearing as nobody could quite find the right words to say until Sirius finally broke it.

"So Evans, how was you summer holiday?" Lily tensed for a moment before replying.

"It was fine. I saw my aunt for the first time in a few years and got to spend a bit of it with Alice's family." She didn't know why she had told them so much. "How was yours?" Lily realized for the first time that she didn't know anything about these boys or what kind of families they came from.

Sirius grinned. "It was bloody brilliant. Spent the beginning of summer living with Prongs here and his mum and dad helped me to find a suitable flat to rent for the rest of it."

"Why didn't you stay with your family?" Lily knew that she might be being noisy but Sirius had a little brother in school, was his name Regulus, and she was deathly curious as to why he had his own flat.

A dark look passed over his face before he responded. "My mum and dad don't exactly see the world in the same way that I do. Left that hell hole a few years ago and Prongs' parents were kind enough to take me in." His face cleared a little bit, "I couldn't have asked for better people in my life."

Lily was still really curious but held her tongue before she went too far and cause a row. "Well that's lovely; what about you there? How were your summers?"

"Other than having to put up with Padfoot for most of the time, mine was pretty dull." He mock shoved Sirius and Lily assumed that Padfoot was his assigned name. The two boys got into a little wrestling match and she giggled out loud; Lily couldn't believe how easy it was to be here and to watch these boys play and joke around. It was as if she was finding the correct puzzle piece after years of forcing the wrong one.

"Remus, Peter?"

"Mine was very much like every other summer that I've ever had. I mostly stayed in the house." Remus looked sadly around and she wondered what he was thinking about.

"I went on holiday to Ireland! My mum had always wanted to see the countryside there and so we finally went!" Peter was so overjoyed that someone was listening to him that he rambled on for a good ten minutes about the pubs and sheep and other things that were in Ireland.

"Wormtail, don't bore her with this story anymore." Sirius looked as if he were about to fall asleep. "Let's do something a bit more fun."

Lily was automatically on alert; she could hear the mischief boiling beneath the surface of his voice. She heard Sirius mutter under his breath and suddenly, James was levitating in the air over the shimmering lake surface.

"You lousy git; let me down Padfoot!" His eyes were wild with shock and anticipation.

"Whatever you say mate," with a swift flick of his wand, James crashed into the water. He surfaced with a cuss and pulled his wand from inside his pocket. Sirius was lifted off of the ground and flew straight over James' head.

"Paybacks a bitch," he proclaimed as his friend sputtered and tried to dunk James under the surface. Remus smiled and stood up before shedding his shirt and running in to join his friends; Peter was unsure of whether he was to be included in the fun but finally decided to go join.

Lily sat there watching the boys and laughing at their antics; she thought about joining them she wasn't wearing her bathing suit. Instead she closed her eyes and leaned against the bark of the tree listening to the sounds of nature and the boys that surrounded her.

The next thing she knew, two sets of hands had grabbed her ankles and wrists. "Evans, you didn't think that you would just get to sit here and not join us for a swim did you?" Sirius had her feet and sported a broad grin.

"But I don't even have my bathing suit on! Let me go!"

"Now, now Evans, the water feels nice; you won't even mind once we get you in there." She looked up at the hazel eyes of one of her captors and gave him a glare.

"Don't you dare."

The two boys stood on the bank and gripped her limbs tightly to prevent her on going struggling.

"One," they swung her body toward the water and the back behind them, "two," the repeated the process and the tension in her body was building, "three!" they released her and she flew up into the air for a moment before crashing into the slightly chilly September water.

The air that she had sucked into her lungs came rushing out under water and she lost her bearings for a moment before her body slowly began to drift upwards. Lily broke through the surface to see that all of the boys were once again in the water. She pushed her hands forward and sent a stream shooting toward them and a large water fight ensued.

Lily laughed and kept sending water off in the direction that she thought the boys were, ignoring the slight sting when water would find its way into her eyes. She was having fun.

"Gotcha," James' voice erupted from behind her as he lifted her into his arms. She felt a shiver go through her body at his touch but screamed as he threw her into the air again. She forced her eyes open under the water and found his legs; swimming toward them she pulled and watched satisfied as James crashed under the water.

Lily could see her hair fan out around her and for a moment felt like a mermaid before the need for air because too great and she swam back up.

"Nice one Evans," Sirius gave her a high five and she felt proud of her accomplishment. Remus was bent over double laughing and Peter was turning blue from lack of oxygen. James was standing off to the side looking a little sulky but one look at her grin and he seemed to cheer up considerably.

They passed another hour or so dunking each other under the water and pretending to be sea creatures. Once they all became too tired, they dragged themselves on the shore and Lily used a drying charm to make sure that none of them would catch a cold.

Taking their seats once again under the willow tree Lily realized that it had gotten late; it was almost time for supper. To prove this point, her stomach growled loudly and the boys all grinned at her.

"I'm hungry; it's not that unusual for a person's stomach to rumble." Lily tended to get a little defensive when she was hungry.

"Prongs, I think that means it's time for those supplies." Remus looked hungrily at James as he nodded and pulled out a knapsack that she hadn't noticed that he had been carrying.

From his bag, James pulled: two thermoses of tea, 5 cups, a tin of biscuits, a few sandwiches of different verities, and a lot of sweets. She wondered where he had gotten all of it but shrugged it off as a question for later; right now she was going to eat.

They all devoured the food and drank their tea quickly. Swimming for half of the afternoon really took up a lot of energy. Lily flopped back onto her back and watched the clouds drift lazily by. When was the last time that she had felt so content? Why was it that with these boys, the ones that she had despised for the past few years, that she had just had the best day in over a month and a half?

Her eyes began to drift closed in the warm sunlight and she could feel the sleepiness draping her mind in clouds of fogginess.

Something was moving. She cracked her eyes open and could see the ceiling of the castle drifting by above her. Slowly her mind began to recognize that she wasn't walking, but being carried; she jerked and James almost dropped her due to the sudden movement.

"Whoa, settle down Evans, it's alright. I've got you." She could feel the muscles of his arms beneath her knees and around her back, cradling her to his chest.

"What's going on? What happened to the lake?" Lily was still feeling a little bit disoriented.

"You fell asleep. We were there for a good hour after that but you wouldn't wake up when we decided to come in so I'm carrying you instead." His cheeks were tinged red again and she could feel his heart beat thrumming against her shoulder.

"Well I'm awake now… if you want me to walk on my own."

"No it's fine; you're still probably shaky on your legs and we're here any way." He tickled the boy and repeated their password before carrying her gracefully into the common room; Lily was surprised but how easily he could maneuver her.

He set her down on one of the squishy armchairs and she cuddled up into it, already missing the heat that his body had provided.

"Did you have fun today?" He was looking at her with interest and she could feel her face heat up.

"Surprisingly, I had a lot of fun. Your friends are great, really easy to talk to and a lot of fun to hang around with. I still can't believe you got me in the water." She grinned at him to show that she was kidding and he chuckled.

"You don't hang around with us without going through a little initiation Evans, just be glad it was only a dunk in the lake." He winked at her and laughed again.

They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, just staring at the fire and enjoying each others company before a yawn worked its way up through Lily's body.

"Perhaps we should get some sleep; we have our first duty tomorrow night so we need our rest." James stood up with these words and Lily followed suit. Before she knew what was happening, he had enveloped her in a tight hug; she responded automatically and returned the embrace.

It was over quickly but Lily's heart beat a quick rhythm against her ribcage.

"Goodnight Evans." He grinned at her before disappearing up his stairwell. Lily forced her legs to move and went to get ready for bed. She thought of what had just happened and kept trying to figure it out as she changed into her night clothes.

As she lay down in her bed, she kept reverting back to that moment and fell asleep to the idea that his arms were still around her.


	8. Affection

**Affection**

Lily's dreams that night were full of bright colors and vibrant images replayed from her afternoon with the marauders. She moved very fluidly through different scenes, as if her surroundings were made of a liquid texture. The quicker her figure would move, the more blurred the colors would become. Faster and faster she moved along; Sirius' laughing face glided into the unforgettably blue sky, Remus' tall form shifted to blend into the forest behind him, and Peter was spinning so quickly that he was consumed by the darkness that had taken over.

The spinning stopped. Lily could feel a pair of arms around her back and she looked up into James' hazel eyes. The background was still revolving in a mass of swirling colors and darkness, but she and James stood still in the center. It felt right.

With a sudden jolt, Lily woke up. Her legs had become tangled in her bed sheets and it took her a moment to figure out the correct way to achieve her freedom. Pushing back her bed sheets, Lily sat up trying desperately to remember what her dream had been about. She remembered the colors, but, like dreams often do, the details were soon taken captive by her unconscious mind.

The clock hanging over her window told Lily that it was only 8 and she groaned. It was too early to be up on a weekend, but she was already too awake for any hope of more sleep. What should she do today? The only obligation that she had was her first duty around the castle tonight as Head Girl and that wasn't until 9.

Lily felt restless after the dream that she couldn't quite remember and soon found herself pacing from the door to the window. She had so much energy that she decided to go and see if Audrey had made it out for her daily run yet.

Dressing quickly, Lily dashed down her stairwell and, noticing that James was not up yet, went straight for the portrait hole. She found that walking through the halls on her way to the Gryffindor common room was taking too much time and picked up her pace to a bit of a jogging speed.

Since it was so early, almost no one was up and about when Lily reached her destination. She waved a cheery hullo to a couple of 7th years working on homework by the fire and tiptoed up to her old dorm as quietly as she could manage.

She pushed open the door, saw that all of her old dorm mates were still sleeping and crept over to the hangings surrounding Audrey's bed. Without making a sound she drew back the curtain and prodded her friend.

"Ahh!"

"Shh… It's just me Dri, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a run."

"What?" Her eyes were still glossed with sleep but at least she was whispering now. Lily looked around to make sure that none of the others had been woken up.

"I just felt like going for a run and was wondering if you had already done yours or if you might fancy coming with me?"

"Sure Lil, sure. Just let me get my stuff on." She pushed back her bed covers and Lily averted her eyes; Audrey had the habit of only wearing her knickers to bed. Lily had always been a little bit jealous of how comfortable her friend was with her body.

Audrey dressed quickly and motioned for Lily to follow her toward the common room.

"I've got to say Lily, I think this may be a first; usually I'm the one forcing you out of bed." Lily giggled; it was true. She didn't care much for waking up early or going for runs, but today just seemed different; she wanted to do this.

"I know what you mean; I just… this morning I just had so much energy. I couldn't just sit in my room and wait for the castle to wake up!" She could feel the anticipation start to build in her like it did before every run.

"Well then, let's go do this." She led the way out of the common room and through the maze of stairs that ended up at the large, towering front doors. Pushing them open, the two girls were greeted by a flawless morning.

Dew still clung to blades of grass and the sky didn't hold a single cloud. It was mild weather and the grounds looked breath-taking in the early morning sunlight.

Like every run, it started with just a step. Lily and Audrey pushed their legs into a quick jogging rhythm and directed their bodies toward Whomping Willow. It was called this because the tree branches would seriously injure anyone to step close enough to it; Lily had always wondered why Dumbledore had deemed it necessary and safe enough to plant it the year she arrived at Hogwarts.

From the tree, the two girls followed their usual path down a small trail toward Hagrid's cabin, which sat on the edge of the forbidden forest. They would follow the tree line circling the perimeter of the grounds passing through the Quidditch Pitch, around by the greenhouses, and making a loop of the lake before heading in.

Lily could feel the muscles in her legs straining but kept pushing through. They had just made it past Hagrid's cabin when Audrey decided to break their comfortable silence.

"You haven't mentioned it Lil; how was your day with the marauders?" She had know that the conversation would come up but wasn't sure where to begin. Talking while running was difficult for her but Lily was slowly able to recount yesterday's adventures to the eager ears of her friend.

She told about how she had no idea where the boys were taking her, about the beautiful little spot by the lake, how they had thrown her in the water, and about her feelings of calm and joy that she had experienced. When she got to the part about James carrying her, Audrey gave a shriek of surprise. Lily decided to keep the exchange before bedtime to herself for the moment; she wasn't quite sure what that meant and didn't want to make a big deal about it.

By this time, the two had made it halfway around the lake; Lily kept her eyes peeled for the small deer path that led to the secret spot, but could not see it any where. Perhaps yesterday had all been a dream; no, that was ridiculous, but it sure felt like a dream.

How could she have felt so comfortable with these boys? Sure, she had known them by name for over six years, but they were almost complete strangers to her. None of it made any sense.

"Lily? Lily!" Audrey had been trying to get her attention but she had been so lost in thought that it required a slap on the shoulder to get her to stop running.

"Ow, what Dri?"

"Look over there," her friend whispered back, quietly shushing her. Lily peered in the direction that her friend was pointing and saw a flash of silvery-white. She strained her eyes and gave an involuntary gasp of surprise.

"Unicorns!" Both girls took slow cautious steps toward the creatures; Lily noticed that they gave off an unearthly glow.

"I've never seen one up close other than in Care of Magical Creatures. I wonder why they're here." They saw the heads of the horse-like animals lift up and watched as their ears flicked back and forth trying to discern whether or not trouble was near by.

Lily took one more step toward them and broke through the bushes that obscured her view. She stumbled over a root and toppled into a circular meadow of tall grass and flowers. The unicorns stood still in fright but soon concluded that the girls meant them no harm and continued their grazing.

Over their heads, the canopy opened up to the sky and Lily could feel the sunlight warming her cheeks as she hurried to get back on her feet. She and Audrey crept closer and closer to the animals trying not to scare them away. Lily was transfixed by the long horns protruding from their foreheads and she felt the unbelievable curiosity as to how it felt.

They were only a short step away from the closest one when a flicker of gold flashed in Lily's side view; a colt broke away from the surrounding tree line. The baby unicorn was a brilliant gold colour and was lacking its horn but Lily was sure that she had never seen something so beautiful.

She watched as it trotted over to its mother and ducked its head to feed. Audrey's face was gleeful and she closed the last step and set her hand on one of the mare's mane of sliver hair. The unicorn was unfazed by the act and Lily decided to follow suit.

The mane was just as how Lily remembered it from all of those years ago; like sliver liquid against her fingers. She was in such a state of bliss that Lily jumped as something grazed against her hip.

Looking down, she saw that the colt had come to investigate the girls and was sniffing around their knees.

"Lily! We have to make a wish!"

"What?" Audrey was notorious for wishing on everything from an eyelash to stars but Lily couldn't understand why they had to make one now; wishing on stars was as much as Lily had ever done.

"My mum always told me that if you make a wish on a unicorn that it would come true! Please Lily, do it; it will be fun." She smiled in the sheer absurdity of the situation but closed her eyes none the less.

What should she wish for? Her thoughts trailed to her new room mate, to her friends, to her N.E.W.T.s coming up, and finally landed on her family. She squeezed her eyes tight to block out the pain and simply wished to have her home and family again.

Opening her eyes, Lily saw Audrey staring at her and looked down at the little unicorn so that her friend may not notice the few tears that had escaped.

After a few more minutes, the group of unicorns decided to depart the small field and the girls watched them leave with disappointment. They decided to finish up their run and go to get ready for the day.

Lily bid her friend farewell on the 7th floor and walked slowly to her common room. Her muscles were already a little sore from the exercise and she was sweaty from the exertions. Her mind was already in thoughts of a nice, warm shower when she pushed open the door and was face to face with James.

He jumped back in shock and took a moment to take in her appearance.

"Oh hullo Evans, been for a run?" Lily felt unnecessarily worried about her messy hair and sweaty limbs as he continued to look her up and down. She froze as he reached down and ran his hand over her hip; without thinking Lily's hand flew across his cheek.

"What the bloody hell are you doing Potter?" She couldn't believe that he had just done that; a hug at night was one thing, but now he was just being rude.

Their eyes connected and Lily was sure that she had made a mistake; he looked sad and hurt as he held his palm over the spot she had hit. "Jesus Evans, I was just picking a hair off of you." He held up a long golden hair that must have been left there by the unicorn earlier. "Where the hell did you find a sodding unicorn anyway?"

Lily had to admit that she was ashamed at her actions and amazed that James had been able to identify the hair.

"Audrey and I found a few of them grazing during our run… I'm sorry that I hit you; are you alright?" He rubbed his cheek and his eyes still held a bit of darkness in them but he flashed her a crooked grin.

"Are you kidding me Evans? You couldn't hurt me if you tried." She swatted his arm playfully and cursed herself for over reacting; she just wasn't used to physical contact with him.

"Well mister strong man, I'm still sorry. I guess I'm just a bit jumpy today."

"You had better fix that before tonight then; I'd hate to witness the Head Girl freaked out walking around the castle during our rounds."

"Don't worry; I'm not afraid of the dark."

"That's my girl-" James' face dropped in shock of the words that he just uttered. Lily could feel the same expression mirrored on her features.

"I have to go shower." She didn't know what to do; why had he said that? James' hand was in his hair again and he couldn't seem to look at her.

"Okay. I'll see you tonight then." He ran from the room quickly, saving her from coming up with a response.

What the hell just happened? Lily's heart was pounding an even rhythm in her chest and her mind was spinning in different directions. She went to gather her supplies for the loo and stepped into the shower as soon as the water turned warm.

As the water pounded down on her shoulders and back, Lily was struck by an odd thought; underneath all of her shock about what James had just said, a part of her _enjoyed_ it. Her thoughts crashed against her skull.

She thought back to a couple of years ago and how she had vowed to loath James Potter for the rest of her life, but here she was being his friend, living with him, and laying by the lake with him and his mates. As if that wasn't bad enough, Lily thought about the past week and took note of the times that she had found herself think about him or looking at him in class. Oh hell.

Lily was thinking too much about this. She did not like James Potter; it must be that she just enjoyed hanging around with him. She would not like him.

Getting out of the shower, she dressed quickly trying not to think and dashed out the door. She made her way up to the Gryffindor tower in hopes that Alice will be there to regale her with the details about the afternoon with Frank; maybe that would help Lily to forget about her previous train of thought.

She found her friends sitting around the fire in the common room. From the looks of it, Alice was already in full swing talking about the previous day.

"He was so nice," her voice was a whisper in case anyone overheard her talking, "every time I would go into a really long boring story about my family, or what I did for holiday, he seemed genuinely interested. He just kept asking me questions… I didn't know that a boy could listen so well."

"If you were talking so much, why did we happen to see the two of you snogging on the grounds?" Lily couldn't help taking a dig at her best friend.

Alice swung around so fast to glare at her friend, that she fell out of her seat and the three girls laughed uncontrollably. Her face had darkened to match the scarlet chair that she was climbing back up in and Lily couldn't tell if she was blushing because of the falling or the snogging.

"I was getting to that part. What were you guys doing spying on me anyway?"

"We weren't spying, we just we for a walk and ended up on the Astronomy tower in time to see you guys." Cecilia was always the one to try and keep the peace before a row could form.

Alice huffed and crossed her arms. "Well yes, I mean talking took up most of the day but… well you know what happened." Her face was red once again.

"That's it? That's all you're going to say about it? Alice! You've been waiting to do that for years! How was it?" Lily could not believe how little information her friend seemed willing to give out.

"Shh. Fine. If you must know, it was absolutely wonderful; better than I could have hoped for."

"Who started it? Will you see him again?"

"Dri, keep your voice down, would ya? I don't want to make it well know yet."

"But who started it, did you have to make the first move?"

Alice smiled sweetly and her eyes seemed to drift back to her first kiss. "We had been walking around all morning and decided to take a rest by the lake. So we were just sitting there, talking about his collection of chocolate frogs cards and he stopped mid sentence. I had thought that maybe I did something wrong or that he just didn't want to talk anymore but he looked me dead in the eye and said that I looked beautiful. He said that he had been nervous to ask me to hang out with him and that he was thrilled to be in that moment with me. He grabbed my hand and asked if it would be aright if he kissed me and, well, it turned into a little more than one kiss but it could not have been more perfect."

Cecilia had a dreamy look on her face and was cooing over the various details of Alice's story. "It's so sweet that he asked you!" Lily was overjoyed for her friend and smiled largely when she caught the other girl's eye.

"Will you be seeing him again?"

"We made plans to go for a stroll later on today." At that moment, Frank stepped from out of the boy's stairwell and Lily saw him scan the room until his eyes found Alice. She made note of how his cheeks reddened and how his eyes lit up gazing at her.

As if she knew that he was there, Alice turned around and squeaked in surprise.

"Good morning Alice." He shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"Morning Frank," Lily could feel the awkwardness of new affection filling the air.

"I was about to go down and grab some lunch if you all wanted to join me?" He didn't take his eyes off of Alice as he spoke.

"Well actually Frank, Cecilia, Audrey and I have already eaten but Alice was just telling us about how hungry she was." Lily had always been good under pressure. She felt Alice glare up at her but turned around with a smile when she replied.

"I am pretty hungry; would it be okay if I joined you?"

"That would be great… it would save me the lonely walk and lunch that I would face if you didn't."

"We wouldn't want you to be lonely, would we?" Audrey piped up before Alice could respond. "Why don't you two run along before all of the good seats are taken?"

"Thank you Audrey. I'll see you all later." Lily could see that Alice was embarrassed about the situation but this would be good for her. She needed to be put in new situations.

"We'll see you Al; have fun!"

Once the two Gryffindors had left, the three girls dissolved into giggles over the situation. They spent the rest of the afternoon doing homework on the grounds, gossiping about their friend, and just enjoying each other's company.

Before she knew it, Lily was saying goodbye to her friends and making her way back to the Head's common area. She pushed open the door and went to put her books away in her desk. Not even five minutes after she got back did the portrait hole open again and James stepped in.

"Evening Evans," there was a light blush on his cheeks and Lily thought back to his slip of words this morning.

"Good evening; ready for our rounds?" She was acutely aware of his inability to meet her eyes.

"Yeah; listen, Evans, I'm sorry about this morning." He was rubbing the back of his neck again. "I tend to speak without thinking a lot of the time and I don't want us to be awkward for our first duty."

She smiled up at him and nodded her head in acknowledgement. "Thank you; I was worried about it as well." She had imagined her feelings earlier today; there was no way that she liked James Potter.

"Well," he seemed relieved, "shall we start off then?" She followed him out into the corridor and they set off to the dungeons, deciding to walk the halls from the ground up. They had made it halfway down to their starting destination when James broke the silence.

"Let's play a game to make the time pass faster." Lily was surprised by the idea and nodded her assent.

"Alright; what game?"

"It's called the question game. We take turns asking the other person a question and whatever we ask must be answered truthfully. You are allowed 3 passes in the game if you feel uncomfortable answering something but if you make a forth pass, you lose the game. Sound good?"

Lily mulled over the rules and agreed. "Who goes first?" They had made it to the dungeons and were looking into the darkened classrooms for students out past curfew.

"I do. What is your favorite colour?"

"Too easy, it's green. What do you want to be when you leave Hogwarts?"

"I've been thinking about becoming an Auror; help the ministry bring down Voldemort and all of that stuff." She was impressed with his drive and want to do good for the world. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Only one sister," She wasn't going to elaborate if she didn't have to. "What is your favorite food?"

He smirked, "My mother makes wonderful Shepard's pie. Who is your favorite Professor?"

"I rather enjoy Flitwick's classes. What is your least favorite lesson?"

"History of Magic can always put me to sleep; Professor Binns voice is just so slow and consistent. What's your favorite memory?" Lily had to think for a moment on this question. She thought back to her childhood days when Petunia had been her best friend and how their parents would take them on special day trips. Did she feel comfortable enough to share this? She wouldn't waste one of her passes.

"When I was seven, my parents took me and my sister to the zoo for a day. We would run around to all of the animals and eat cotton candy and just had a wonderful time in each others company. I think back on it sometimes when I have a particularly bad day." She cursed herself for telling so much. "What is your favorite hobby?"

"Quidditch." They had made it to the third floor already and Lily wasn't even aware how that was possible. "Most treasured item?"

"A photograph." It was of her family and hung over her bed. She debated asking a more serious question and decided to just go for it. "What is your worst fear?" Does he even have any fears? He thought for a moment and rubbed his neck while ducking into another empty classroom.

"I think that would have to be that my loved ones will die in this war and that I'll be defenseless to save them." She wasn't expecting this answer and felt the wind knocked out of her lungs. He hadn't noticed her labored breaths yet. "What is your greatest regret?" Once the question left his mouth Lily had to physically stop moving in order to calm herself down.

The morning of her father's death swam into her mind and she was forced to relive her decision to sleep in that extra half an hour instead of eating breakfast with her father.

"Are you alright Evans?" He was right beside her looking frantic and her sudden change. Her breathing was returning to normal even as her heart was once again torn open by the memory.

"I'm fine," she spoke the lie for what felt like the thousandth time and cursed herself for losing control in front of him. She winced as she answered the question, "I wish I would have gotten out of bed earlier."

"What? Are you sure you're alright?" His face was scrunched with concern and confusion.

"My biggest regret is that I wish that on that morning, I stayed in bed too long." She could tell he was about to ask another question and shook her head, "It's my turn. Do you have any pets?"

"No pets. Why is that your biggest regret?"

"Pass." She knew that it had been coming but was willing to give up on this one.

"Christ. Fine then, what do you want to do after Hogwarts?" Lily was pleased with the change of conversation and gave him a light smile for giving up the subject.

"Honestly, I have no idea what I'd like to do after school. I suppose I will try and get a job in the ministry or something; helping with muggle relations maybe." She had always been a bit unclear of her future goals. Lily noticed him studying her face and replied back with her own question. "Do you have any big regrets in life?"

His eyes caught hers before he answered, "I regret how I used to act a few years ago. I thought that it was cool to show how good my dueling skills were but recently I've realized that I was just being a git. I hate how many people don't like me and most of all I hate that they have a reason to."

She could feel her face slacken with surprise and stared at his form as he looked out the 8th floor window onto the grounds. Lily never would have guess that he would feel remorse for his former actions; she just assumed that he had wanted to avoid rows with her about it.

His voice cut into her thoughts, "What is one thing that you want me to avoid mentioning in this game?"

"Is that your next question for me?"

"Yes."

Lily mind swam as she thought of a way to answer. Was this worth another pass? Would he ask her about it later on if she told him specifically that she did not want to talk about it? She decided to have some faith in his morals and answered truthfully. "I would appreciate it if you never asked me about my parents." She could feel her heart tear open again with the mention of them but asked me next question. "What is your biggest dream?"

"Pass."

"What?"

"Pass."

"Erm… alright; have you ever had a girlfriend?" She had been so confused about his answer that she spit out the one thing that had been on her mind since the beginning of the game. Shit, he was looking at her with surprise written all over her face. That was dumb. She could feel the game shifting dynamics into a different kind of territory and wasn't sure if she was ready for it.

"No Evans, I haven't." It was her turn to look surprised. She glanced at him and began to re-evaluate her views of him being a show-off ladies man. "Why are you so surprised?"

"I had just thought that you… I mean, all of the girls always thought… you being so popular and on the Quidditch team…" She hated that she had been left unable to form a proper sentence. "I just though that you had. What's your favorite possession?"

"It's a present from my dad years ago. Have you ever had a boyfriend?" She could tell that he was nervous asking because he stumbled a little bit over the last word.

"Nope. I used to like this boy but we don't really talk anymore." Lily's thoughts went to Severus and all of the summers that they used to spend together. "What is the best memory you have?"

James looked away from her while he answered, "Truthfully? It was yesterday while we all sat by the lake and just spent the after noon doing nothing and having fun. You did have fun right?"

"I'm going to assume that that is your next question," she told him cheekily but answered with a smile, "Yes, I did have fun. A lot more fun than I thought that I would." She saw his face light up and felt a pleasure build in her chest at being able to make him smile like that. She was surprised to see that they had made it all the way back to their corridor. "Well those sure made rounds go quickly. Do you know what time it is?"

James looked down at his pocket watch and announced that it was already 11. They made their way back to the common room and agreed to continue their game the next time that they had duty together.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" James looked eagerly at her as he took his seat in an armchair. "We're both down a pass though… that's a bummer."

Lily laughed to cover up the pain that she felt in her chest again. "Yeah, it was a good game; thanks for coming up with the idea." He beamed at her.

"Evans? Would you want to hang out with the guys and me again sometime this week?" Lily could tell he was nervous again and felt a little giddy at the offer. She imagined another afternoon of frivolous activities and grinned.

"As long as it doesn't interfere with my revision schedule, I'd be glad to."

"Revision schedule? We don't even have an exam for at least a couple more weeks."

"Well, you play Quidditch with your free time and I revise. It takes a lot of work to keep my notes up." James was laughing at her and she could feel her temper rising, "It's not funny Potter; I'm serious."

He was still chortling as he responded, "No, Evans, it really is funny. You have got to be the only person in this school who has a weekly revision schedule." She swatted his arm.

"Well excuse me for wanting to do well in school. I guess we'll just see who does better on their N.E.W.T.s this year." She stuck her tongue out at him and thought of the day in which she will be able to rub this is his face.

"Naturally, that will be me," he stated cheekily.

"In your dreams."

"Do you want to bet Evans?" She could see a flicker of mischief in his eyes.

"What will I get if I beat your scores?" Lily never backed down from a challenge once someone began to doubt her.

"What do you want?"

"If I win," her brain was thinking fast. What could she have him do? "If I win, you have to do whatever I ask of you for an entire day."

"You mean like a slave? Fine; but if I win you have the same conditions: be my slave for one day." Lily bit her lip; she wasn't exactly expecting that but she agreed none the less. They shook hands and continued a little bit more smack talk about which one will receive higher scores.

Lily had been so comfortable sitting and talking with James that she hadn't noticed the hands of the clock moving steadily toward midnight. The silence grew longer as she once again thought about the strange feelings that were developing inside of her. Standing up, she stretched her arms above her head before turning to look at James.

"I think that it's probably time for bed." Before she could even finish her sentence, he had stood up and cracked his back. "Goodnight then."

She stood there for a second and hesitated wondering if he would repeat his actions from the night before, secretly hoping that he would. She wasn't let down as he closed the distance between them and gave her a quick squeeze before turning to his stairs. "Goodnight Evans."

Her heart beat fast as she dressed for bed and thought about her day. She thought about her run and her friends, about her duty with James and the questions that he asked, and about the calm feeling that she had while just being with him and the flutter in her chest whenever they touched.

She was confused about how she felt and about what could happen next but the one thing that she was sure of, was that James Potter was certainly growing on her.


	9. Hogsmeade

**Hogsmeade**

A couple of weeks had passed since Lily's first night duty with James and she was surprised by the effortless transition that had taken place between the first day of school and now.

As she searched around her room for the supplies that she would need for the day, Lily found herself drifting into thoughts of James and the other marauders. She thought of sharing a suite with him, about their late night talks, and of the daily commute between classes that she would spend walking with him.

Memories of the days spent wandering the grounds with the marauders made her laugh and feel like a child; it had been far too long since Lily had gone on adventures of discovery and mystery. The four boys that she was getting to know had somehow been able to awaken this entirely forgotten part of her and she looked forward to the next new thing to discover any time that James suggested hanging out.

Lily remembered first telling Alice about her afternoon by the lake spent with these blokes and how incredulous her best friend had been.

"What do you mean you spent time with the marauders? Why didn't you tell me sooner! This is huge news Lil." Her face was blank with shock as Lily found her courage and told her about how James had even carried her up to their room and how every night since he had given her a goodnight hug.

"Ali, I don't understand any of what is happening," she admitted softly, "I just know that whenever I'm with him, I feel calm. The pain in my chest goes to the back of my mind and I'm just able to escape reality for a while."

Her friend had looked over at her in concern and Lily wasn't sure exactly what other emotions were hidden in Alice's suddenly bright eyes.

"Lily, would you listen to yourself for a moment? This is James Potter that we are talking about here. Don't you remember the past six years of annoyance and grief he has given you?"

"I think it is different now Ali. He seems to have really changed over the past few months. You should hear him talk about his plans for the future and about the things that he regrets about his past. I couldn't believe my ears when he was telling me."

"You're like my sister Lil, please just be careful with him. Do you plan on taking him up on his offer for another marauders excursion later this week?" She looked older as she spoke and Lily made a mental note to keep a watchful eye for trickery.

"You know what? I think that I will take him up on it. For some reason Ali, being around these guys wasn't only fun, it was easy. At no point in the day did I ever feel like an outsider or someone who had never been alone with them before; it was just natural. I'm rather curious as to whether it was only a fluke or if I actually am that comfortable with them."

Alice's head fell into her hands and Lily had thought that maybe she had finally pushed her friend over the edge and into madness.

"But he's such a git," her friend finally struggled out through clenched teeth.

"It's not like I'm going to date him or something. I've just found that instead of focusing on my family problems and school, I might have a chance for a little bit of fun.

Alice smiled at her with pity in her eyes. "I know Lil; I'm just worrying about what will happen if things end badly and he turns out to be nothing except awful."

Lily smiled at the younger girl. "They really are not as bad as I thought they would be."

"Just be careful with them. I love you Lil."

"I love you too."

This exchange had taken place over a week and a half ago and since then; Lily had found herself spending every other afternoon with these intoxicatingly interesting boys.

Each time that they went any where, James had a new place to take them or a different secret passageway that Lily had never seen before. The four boys moved through the castle with such ease and knowledge that she found herself wondering how many times they must have snuck out of bed to go explore.

While most of the time the group would talk about trivial things, like the weather or sports, every once in a while one of the guys would become curious and ask Lily a question. Each time, she would freeze up inside and hope to god that they wouldn't ask about her family and somehow, they never did.

Lily wondered if James had taken her comment during the questions game and warned them against mentioning it; if he had, she would be eternally grateful. That was one subject that she would only talk about with her closest friends but somehow she knew that if they asked, her body would let her secrets out before her mind could stop it.

She tried to think about how crazy she would seem if she accidentally told them about her dead parents and how she cried daily in the shower and sometimes before bed. They wouldn't be able to look at her.

Still searching for her change purse, Lily's mind swept back to the boys and remembered the way in which Sirius always had a smile plastered on his face and how he and James were more like brothers than friends.

How had she not known about his family problems? Didn't Hogwarts have an unhealthily fast gossip system? Surely if he moved in with the Potter's, someone at school would have spread it around like wildfire.

During one of their expeditions a couple of days ago, Lily's curiosity had gotten the better of her and she chanced another go at Sirius to ask him about his life. James had brought them to a small field of tall grass and flowers located on one of Hogwarts surrounding hillsides and he, Remus, and Peter were all rolling down, racing to the bottom.

She had taken her rare time alone with Sirius to ask him her leftover questions. "Hey… Sirius?" Her voice was low and she was acutely aware that she was about to ask the very question that she had been dreading to hear. "Could you tell me more about your family? I would have never known that you don't live with them anymore; what happened?"

He looked at her for a long moment and she was afraid that he would be cross but finally he chuckled.

"You have a lot of guts Lily Evans; it took the guys much longer to ask me about it."

"So you'll tell me?" She was excited to finally have an answer to one of the questions that had been bothering her.

"Yeah; you're a muggle born correct?"

"Yes I am." She wasn't sure what her lineage had to do with anything but she let it slide for the moment.

"Well, you see, I come from a very old, very powerful family of wizards. They have these sick ideas that just because a person is born from two muggles, or even from a magic/muggle relationship, that that alone makes them sub-par to our family."

Lily had heard such ideas from the Slytherin students for years; it was actually one of the things that propelled her to get top marks in her classes. He seemed to be waiting for a response so she nodded to tell him that she understood.

"Since my entire family has been bred to think this way, my brother Regulus and I were no different. The problem comes in way back in my childhood when I saw my mother scream at a woman in Diagon Alley just for brushing her shoulder as they passed. She had yelled nasty slurs and even cussed her out for daring to touch a pureblooded witch with her, and I am quoting now, 'dirty Mudblood hands'."

Lily could feel her face relay the shock that she was feeling.

"I had to stand there and watch as this woman burst into tears and ran from us like we were the plague. From that moment on, I was able to look past the prejudices that my parents tried to force down my throat. When I finally made it to Hogwarts, I was determined not to be in that awful house and instead was the very first Black to ever be placed in Gryffindor."

His face was glowing with pride as he spoke and Lily found herself quite enraptured with his story.

"I met James our first day and couldn't have had a better group of friends. They taught me what life was really like. They helped me erase the harm that had been done from over 11 years of imprisonment and that first summer that I went home I redecorated my room with the Gryffindor colours just to piss off my mum." He paused to remember the row that had surely ensued with his bold actions.

"Each summer after that, my one sanctuary was my room; it helped me to remember that there were good people in the world who cared for others and who weren't afraid of the notoriously evil Black boy. When I was 16, I had finally gathered up enough courage to leave that god awful house for the last time. James' parents, who had always been good to me, took me in as a sort of second son and I have to tell you, I am so much happier to be free of them."

"That's brilliant Sirius," Lily was smiling along with him, "it must have been really hard to go through that. Do you ever heard from them? What about your brother; he's in Slytherin right?"

A ghost of a shadow crossed Sirius' eyes and his voice was low when he finally got the words to come out. "I haven't talk to my parents since the night that I moved out but Regulus used to find me here and beg me to come home. He would say that if I just gave up my ideals and came home that we could all be a family together again."

"Oh Sirius…" she hadn't known how much his story would upset her; but here she was imagining his family trying to brainwash their children into being cruel and she just felt so angry. "If it counts at all, I think that despite your family, you're a great guy."

He smiled his crooked grin down at her and they sat for a few moments in silence listening to the other boys chase each other around with sticks. The sun warmed her bare skin and she lay back, closing her eyes.

"Thanks Evans." She was so startled that she jumped at the sound of Sirius' voice.

"For what?"

"For being interested in getting to know us and not being afraid to be yourself. It really does mean a lot to everyone, especially Prongs." She could feel her face burn with the intensity of her blush; did James really like that she was hanging out with them that much?

"It's no problem. All of you are just really easy to talk to. I feel as if I fit in with your group without really even trying… it's natural. I'm just sorry that I spent so much time despising you all."

Sirius laughed, "We did kind of give you numerous reasons to avoid us though. What with all of our rule breaking and James' incessant need to ask you out, I'm surprised that you're here even now."

"I suppose you're right," she giggled at the absurdity of being in this spot with all four marauders and having a nice chat with Sirius Black. "Who would have thought it?"

"What do your friends think about it? They probably think that you've gone mental right?"

"Well they were all pretty hesitant about it, you guys don't really have the best reputations after all, but as long as I'm enjoying myself they're okay with it. I think that everyone is just glad to see me get out of my room after what happened this past summer."

"What happened this summer?" Shit. His eyebrows were scrunched into confusion and Lily had to think of a lie quickly.

"Oh it was nothing; just some family troubles." She hoped that he wouldn't ask more but she could tell he had questions about it. Thankfully at that moment, James came running up and offered her his hand.

"Come on Evans! You have to race at least once down to the bottom!" She grabbed his hand eagerly to avoid Sirius' next question and felt a shiver travel up her arm at the touch. Once she was standing, their hands parted but she could still feel the electricity from the contact.

"I'll bet I beat you!" she ran to the place where the race would start and lay down in the starting position. As James was lying down, Lily caught Sirius' eye and was sure that he wouldn't let the conversation drop for long.

"On the count of three," Remus chimed out from the bottom, "One… Two…Three!" They both spun over and over down the hill. Lily kept her eyes shut tight, to keep herself from getting dizzy, and hoped that she was still going in a straight line.

After only fie seconds of frightful flipping Lily rolled into something… hard. Her eyes snapped open with the pain and fright to see that her and James had both turned in their rolling and had collided about halfway down the hill.

"Christ that hurt." Their limbs were tangled and Lily found herself blushing at their closeness. Her left leg had managed to end up around both of his and he was leaning slightly over her as her rubbed his head which had hit the ground with an audible thump.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know I was turning. My eyes were shut tight. Is your head alright?" Lily tried to sit up more to look at him properly but moving her leg from under him made him groan in pain. "Ahh, I don't know what to do… please, are you alright?"

"M'fine just give me a moment." The other three boys had reached them by now and Sirius couldn't help but laugh at their body positions.

"Christ Prongs, if you had wanted a private moment with Evans, you could have told us." Lily's face was burning red at the thought but she couldn't get herself up without jostling James. She was stuck.

"You're a git Padfoot. My head is splitting open; it hurts to even move it. Do you see any blood?" Remus bent to examine him and could only find a large bump near the back.

"All clear Prongs… but maybe you should think about getting off of Lily? She looks awfully uncomfortable." He nodded and disentangled himself slowly. Lily let him do all of the work in order to make sure that she didn't jostle him again.

At one point he wobbled and his hand landed on her thigh; she could feel her heart rate accelerate at his touch and wondered why she was so affected by such a small touch.

"Sorry Evans," his hand disappeared quickly, "are you alright? No injuries?"

"No, I'm fine. I guess we both lost that race though huh?" James laughed.

"I don't think I'll be up for another one today; rain check?" Lily nodded at her friend and was glad that he was able to move around a little bit more without getting dizzy.

"Maybe you should get a headache potion from Madam Pomphrey; they are wicked helpful."

That afternoon was cut short as the five of them made their way to the hospital wing to get James' his potion. Lily felt really bad about it still but she was glad that the guys didn't seem to blame her. It had been just the day after that James had approached her to ask if she would be interested in going on the Hogsmeade trip with him and the others.

Lily had been happy to see him fully recovered after a full night's rest that she agreed without a second thought. It had occurred to her later that the girls might have wanted continue their traditional Hogsmeade visits but luckily, they seemed okay when Lily had brought up her skipping out on them.

So that was what she was doing now. Lily had woken up early to shower and get ready for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year but now she had yet to find her change purse.

Looking in her book bag again she heard footsteps ascending her stairs hesitantly.

"Evans? What is taking so long?" James poked his head through the door with a self satisfied smirk on his face.

"Can't find my change purse," she stated from her position by the wardrobe, "How did you get up the stairs?"

James smiled proudly. "I don't know; just thought that I would try it and I guess that this set doesn't have the enchantment on them."

"Oh. Well okay then." She wondered why this was the only set not to have such restrictions.

"Hey Evans?"

"Yeah?"

"Is your purse purple with a teal design on it?" Her head snapped up to see James pointing at an object resting on her unmade bed. She scrambled to it and stood up while dusting off her trousers.

"Right, well now that that's settled, are you ready to go?" She was actually pretty excited to be going with the guys today. Even though she had been there countless times before, today felt like another adventure; everything with the marauders was new and exciting.

"Ready." He smiled down at her and she felt her heart skip a rhythm. They made their way from the common room to the front doors where the other three boys were already waiting for them.

Lily was glad to see Remus looking well after his transformation last week. She found herself wondering for the millionth time if his friends were in on the secret also.

"Hullo everyone," she flashed them all a smile.

"Leave it up to the girl to make us all wait," laughed Sirius and she glared at him.

"It wasn't my fault. I was ready forever ago but I couldn't find my damned change purse."

"Where did we find that again Evans? On the bed?" The boys all broke into laughter and Lily huffed while crossing her arms.

"That's beside the point."

"Shall we get going then?" Remus looked especially pleased with today's plans and led the way to the checkout spot. The group conversed easily about the past couple days classes and about what they wanted to do in the village today.

Lily ended up walking next to James and was unable to stop herself from looking up at him every so often just to see where he was looking.

"So Evans, what do you want to do in town today?" Her face flushed.

"Well… to be honest, I've always wanted to visit the Shrieking Shack. The girls were always too scared to get closer than the fence but I've always had a fascination with it."

Lily could tell that she had surprised him. He was staring at her with something akin to wonder on his face. "Are you serious Evans?"

"No but I am." Sirius threw the joke over his shoulder and Lily let out a snort of laughter. The other three boys seemed to have heard this joke before but she could not control the intensity of her reaction and it got all of the guys laughing with her.

Once she had calmed down a little bit she was able to respond to his question in between her giggles. "Yes Potter, I am."

"Most girls seem to just want to visit that sickly pink coffee shop."

"Well I'm not most girls."

"You certainly are not." She could feel her face grow warm again as James whispered the last sentence. Lily wasn't sure if she was meant to hear it, but she enjoyed it none the less.

They walked the rest of the way into the village and decided to start out in Zonko's Joke shop. It was full of all kinds of joke supplies for those interested in pranking their friends to those looking to pull of much larger scale pranks.

"What do you guys usually buy here?" She asked James who stood close to her in the packed room.

"I don't usually buy much. We do our pranks with spells not cheap ready to go items." He was surveying the kids round them and Lily noticed how much he stood out above the others. Sirius was the tallest but James was a close second of those in the cramped room.

"I'd like to see that some time."

"See what?"

"See you set up one of your pranks." James looked like he had been hit with a bludger.

"You really want to be a part of breaking the rules? You?" Did they really think that she was the kind of girl never to take risks?

"Well… yeah. It's my seventh year here and I'm Head Girl. What will they do, throw me out?" She was being reckless and relished in the feel. Before he could answer, the others had caught their attention and they all made their way back outside.

They spent the rest of the morning visiting all of the shops that struck their fancy. They got some sweets at Honeydukes and stopped into the Three Broomsticks for a few butter beers before heading to go take a look at the Shrieking Shack.

The guys all seemed kind of nervous about this part of the trip and Lily had a fun time for being too scared to get close to it. She could feel the pickles of fear run up and down her own back as she neared on of the boarded up windows but brushed it aside.

"There's no door… that's odd. How were people ever supposed to get inside?" She distinctly saw Peter glance at Remus but just let it slide.

"I dunno Evans, maybe the spirits inside don't want to be disturbed." James sounded nervous.

"I don't hear anything… maybe it's not haunted at all." She continued her walk around the perimeter of the building and found a window that had a small hole in the wood. Peering in she saw that the walls and furniture had all been destroyed and that it was complete littered with dust. There were distinct animal foot prints in it and she wondered how they got in.

At that moment a pair of hands came up to her sides and she jumped swinging around to face her attacker.

"Relax Evans, it was just me. No need to be afraid." James stood there looking smug as he held her wrists to keep her from smacking him.

"That wasn't funny!" She pouted.

"Yes it was," Sirius was bent over laughing, "your expression was priceless."

Lily stalked away from the boys who were all still laughing. She would just leave them there and go find Alice or someone. She hadn't gotten more than a couple of steps before a large hand encompassed her wrist.

She looked from the hand to James' face angrily and he had enough sense to let go and back up.

"I'm sorry Evans; it was just too perfect an opportunity to pass up. Will you give me a chance to make it up to you?" He said the last part rather quietly so that his mates wouldn't hear. "Please?"

Lily sighed and nodded; she had never heard James ask so nicely and perhaps it had been a little funny. She smiled and allowed him to lead her back towards the group of boys who all looked a little ashamed.

"Shall be move onto the next spot? I was thinking of going to the valley." James looked cheerful and the boys all nodded their heads in affirmation. "Alright let's get going then.

The five of the walked toward the edge of town. Lily had never gone so far into the village and was surprised to see that the boys all walked willingly through an open fence and toward the mountainous terrain. She stopped walking at the edge of town.

"What's wrong Evans?" James had let the other three boys continue on as he went to fetch her.

"This is outside of the village. I really don't think that we should be going… it's against the rules and we could get seriously hurt." She was so over come with worry about climbing the rock face that she was actually trembling a little bit.

"Oh it will be alright, we've done this so many times I've lost count." She looked up into his face and he seemed almost snobbish about her fears.

"But what if this time is the time that someone falls off of a cliff?" He could tell she was worried.

"You can't let your fears run your life Evans. When was to last time you did something completely out of character and took a risk without knowing where it would take you?"

She thought for a moment and then replied that it had been the day that they went and hung out by the lake.

"And how did that risk turn out for you? I promise that you will not be disappointed if you come with me right now." His eyes were soft and Lily could feel her pulse race as he stared so intently at her. "All you need to do is take my hand; I'll help you up these rocks. This is your life and you only get one of them to live."

She weighed the pros and cons in her head as she stared at his out stretched hand. Slowly and deliberately she slid her hand into his and felt the electricity flow through her again. "Please don't let me fall."

With each new part of the cliff face, James would climb up a part and then reach back to lift her up. She could feel the nerves building in her the higher that they all got. Trying her best not to look down, Lily kept her eyes trained on the boy in front of her and kept wondering why she felt so much whenever he caught her eyes or when their hands were together.

By the time they had reached the top, Lily Evans was actually considering the idea that she might fancy James Potter. Why else would she have let him drag her up a cliff face away from the school and into such an unknown circumstances.

Each time he would pull her up and smile at her, her heart would skip a beat and she would be struck with how handsome he was. She could smell his husky, wood like scent and close her eyes for just a moment to savor it.

She was such a fool! How could she have let herself fancy James sodding Potter? What would Alice say? Oh gods what a disaster.

He pulled her up one last ridge and hugged her close in congratulations. She hid her face in his chest to avoid eye contact in case he could see her feelings reflected in her eyes.

"Lily, look." Remus was pointing at the sight that she had climbed up here for: in between two large mountains, a large lake was nestled into the valley. There were wild flowers growing along the banks and she could see fish swimming below the surface.

There was a small path that wound itself down to the waters edge that the boys started down and Lily followed in their wake trying to take in every inch of this picturesque view.

Wind blew her hair up in tangles above her head and she shivered in the late September air. Lily began thinking about her discovery on the way up here and decided that if James was able to get her to see places like this, maybe he wasn't such a bad guy to fancy.

He turned around and waited for her to catch up and then asked her what she thought.

"It's beautiful; how did you ever think to come over the cliff?" She was in awe of the light that shimmered upon the surface of the lake.

"We are natural explorers; it only took us a few years to build up the courage to actually break this rule, but I think that it was worth it."

She couldn't breathe because she had looked into his face and seen his eyes concentrating on her face so intently; his hazel eyes had so much more depth than she had originally thought and could not bring herself to look away.

" Hey you two! Come join us," Remus was sitting with Peter and Sirius on the edge of the water letting their feet trail into it. Gentle waves were crashing against their feet and Lily eagerly pulled off her trainers and socks before joining them.

They sat there enjoying the comfortable silence until Sirius complained about being hungry. James once again pulled out his bag that Lily hadn't noticed him carrying and passed around the snacks.

"This is absolutely wonderful. I never could have imagined that such a place would be right here, this close to Hogwarts." Lily beamed at the boys and stretched to lie on her back.

"We haven't even gotten to the best part yet," Peter piped up, "that part will happen soon." Remus looked at the sky.

"Actually, in order to gain the full effect, we should probably head out now." The others nodded and stood. Lily was confused about the sudden change of plans but grabbed Sirius' hand as he offered her help up.

"What is the best part?" She stage whispered to Sirius and he just shrugged smiling. They wound their way back up the path and Lily noticed the subtle change of light around them; it was getting late and they needed to get back before the gates were closed and locked.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that before she knew it, they were all at the top of the cliff again. James nudged her from the side and pointed her gaze to the scene behind her.

As they had been climbing, the sun had been getting lower and lower in the sky and, as she turned around, she was face to face with the scene of the valley lit up in yellows, oranges, and reds by the brilliant sun. There was a reflection of the sunset on the water's surface and Lily was stunned into silence that the marauders had chosen to share this sight with her.

She beamed at each one of them and they watched the sun sink below the horizon without words. When the spell was finally broken, Lily said that it was the most beautiful scene she had ever witnessed but turning to head back to the castle she was once again filled with dread.

There was no other option except to look down and worry about falling to her death but with each step down, James was there to help her. He would offer her his hand but if she was too scared to move, he would gently lift her off of the rock and set her down safely beside him.

Her heart beat was so affected by this that she wondered how it was possible for her to even still be alive. Finally after what felt like forever, Lily was back safe and sound at the gate to Hogsmeade village.

"That wasn't so bad now was it?" Sirius was trying to be nice to her but Lily could see the gleam of joy in his eye that yearned to laugh at her again.

"I'm just excited to get back to the castle." She replied in an exhausted voice.

"Only one problem with that one Lily," Peter had stopped short by the Hogwarts entrance, "the gates seem to have been locked already."

She felt the panic rise up inside of her again. "What do we do? Who should we call? Do you think this has ever happened before?"

"Shh, calm down Evans," James was clam and quite as he spoke to her and that just worked to get her more pissed off, "we know a way into the castle."

She had gotten ready to yell at him for being so calm but her words caught in her throat. "W-what?"

"We know a way into the castle." His three friends looked outraged at what James had just mentioned and she wondered why.

"Okay… where do we go?" If she was willing to climb up a cliff side with him, Lily supposed that she was willing to trust him with this too.

"Honeydukes. There's a secret passageway in their basement that will lead us into the school." Sirius looked deadly as he glared at James. Perhaps this wasn't something that they had ever shared with an outsider before.

The boys took the lead and Lily followed along behind them. No one spoke but she could feel the words echoing in the silence.

Once inside the store, they slipped quietly into the basement, which appeared to be a storage room, and she watched as Peter located the small door and pulled it up.

"In we go," James climbed down first and was followed by Remus and Peter, Sirius indicated that she should go next and she smiled gratefully up at him. They walked for what seemed like half an hour before they met another ladder. Climbing to the top, Lily was surprised as James pushed up another door.

Climbing out, she was even more shocked to see that they had all just emerged into an empty corridor in the Hogwarts castle.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius said their goodbyes and headed toward Gryffindor tower as Lily and James set off for the seventh floor.

"Thank you for getting me to go with you guys today." She said softly. It meant a lot to her that he believed that she could do crazy things.

James smiled his heart warming smile and Lily could feel her face flush with the realization that she really did fancy him. "I'm glad that you came; did I make up for scaring you?"

His anxious tone made her smile and she nodded. "It was one of the best times of my life." She said simply, hoping that he would take the compliment seriously. "Why were the guys so angry with you for showing me the passageway?"

"They are all so proud of being the only ones that know about most of Hogwarts… they just don't want our secrets getting around to too many people." He looked indifferent but Lily was sure that he was included in those feelings.

"Well… for what it's worth, I won't tell anyone about it if you don't want me to." They had reached the portrait and he let her enter first.

"Really? That would be brilliant of you." He beamed at her and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. They were each too tired to spend time talking tonight but Lily was a bit disappointed that she would have to say goodnight so soon.

She was the one who initiated their customary hug tonight and buried her head in his chest. "Thank you for a wonderful day." She said squeezing him a bit tighter.

He responded with his own squeeze and bent his mouth to her ear whispering, "You're welcome," his breath on her ear spent a shiver up her spine, "goodnight Lily." He released her and walked quickly up his staircase before she could say anything.

Lily felt a warm feeling blossom within her chest as he addressed her by her first name. She stumbled up the stairs already missing the warmth of his arms around her and wondering what in the world she was supposed to do now that she absolutely, without a doubt, fancied the man that she had sworn to loath for all eternity just a few years before hand.


	10. Potions

**Potions**

Lily sat up in bed untangling her feet from her twisted sheets. She had been having the same dream for the past week and it had started to unnerve her a bit.

In her dream, there was a child screaming in the background and she had the overwhelming urge to get to it and make sure everything was alright. She would move her way effortlessly up the stairs of a handsome town house and rip open the baby's door without a second thought.

There would be a small black haired boy standing in his crib reaching up his arms and begging to be held but no matter how many steps she would take, Lily would be unable to reach him. The screaming would continue until a strange man would blast open the door behind her and the world would go quite. Every night, Lily would wake up after a flash of green and be left breathless staring at her empty room.

Everything about the dream scared her to death but she wasn't exactly sure why.

Crawling out of bed, Lily checked the time: 4:53am. She sighed and gathered up her shower stuff and deciding that the warm water may calm her pulsing heart.

The night was still black as she lit her wand tip and carefully picked her way down the stairs only to be affronted with the bright lights of the common room. Hadn't she made sure they were all out when she went up to bed hours beforehand?

"Evans?" Lily started and reflexively shot a disarming spell at the man sitting by the fire. "Oi, give me my wand back."

Once her eyes had adjusted, Lily was able to see James sitting, in his night clothes, by the fire and looking very put out.

"Christ! What the bloody hell are you doing up? You scared me half to death." She threw his wand back towards him and took the empty seat to his right.

She took a moment to take a proper look at him; his face looked tired and his hair was much messier than usual but his eyes were still able to make her breath hitch in her throat as they met.

"I couldn't sleep," he responded in a mumble, "do you always go to the bath at 5 in the morning?" She could hear his usual cheeky voice buried beneath the sleepy tones and smiled.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she laughed. "I've actually not been sleeping well either… I've had these strange dreams lately." Lily held her breath wondering if maybe she should have kept it to herself.

One of his eyebrows shot up in a quizzical manner and his eyes once again met hers. "Anything you want to take about?"

"It's just a bad dream I think… it just keeps happening though; I think this is the 8th night that it's woken me up." Godric, James was handsome. His brow was furrowed in thought and she could see the muscles of his arms contract as he crossed them to lean farther beck in the red squishy armchair.

"Well if it gets too bothersome, you could always ask Madam Pomfrey for a dreamless sleep potion." He was intelligent also, Lily would have never thought of that. How had she made it until seventh year to realize all of these things about him? They'd already lost so much time.

"Yeah, thank you, if they continue I'll see if she would be willing to brew a batch for me." James turned his gaze back to the fire and they fell into a comfortable silence. After a few minutes, Lily couldn't help but to break it just so that she could hear his voice again. "What are you thinking about?"

James jumped a little at the unexpected sound and turned a grinning face toward her. "I was just thinking about you and me." He was never one to be subtle.

"What about us?" Her breath was stuck in her throat again as she thought about the possibility of finally saying yes to one of his offers for a date.

"Just about how I'm glad that you don't hate me anymore and that we can finally just sit here and enjoy each others company without it ending in a row." She felt her smile slip a little. Had James finally grown out of his crush on her just when she was developing one on him? Life sure had a twisted sense of humor sometimes.

"Oh, yeah I suppose you're right," stupid, Lily; it was stupid to think that he would still fancy you after all of the times that you turned him down. After another long pause, it was James who broke the silence.

"Evans?"

"Mmm?" She had been cursing her luck while glaring at the fire.

"You know you can talk to me if there's ever anything on your mind, if you want. I may not look like it, but at times, I can be a superb listener."

"Thank you, I'm fine though." Her lips had already formed the words before her brain had time to seriously consider the answer. It had become second nature to reject talking about the painful things in life and everyone seemed to take her reply as the truth.

"Alright, I'll let you keep thinking that for a while longer, but if it ever becomes too much to handle on your own, I'll be here." Her mind was spinning; it raced through the past few weeks trying to remember if she had let her unhappiness slip through at any points and stopped on that first morning when she had been crying in the shower. Had he heard her after all?

She nodded her head trying to come up with something to say but she could already feel the back of her eyes prickling. It was just too damn early for James to be this nice to her and she had to fight back the urge to tell him all about her parents.

"I need a shower," she choked out before running to the loo. She shut the door tight behind her and flipped on the water to cover up the sounds of her crying.

Why was he so bloody interested all of a sudden in her mental health? Why did she always run away from the people who genuinely seemed to want to help her? Why couldn't she bring herself to tell anyone but her best friends about the terrible things that had happened in her life?

There was a knock at the door and Lily froze. Please let him go away.

"Evans, can I please come in?" She sat there wiping her tears away and trying to stop the new ones from falling without answering. "Please answer me, or else I'm going to come in anyway."

Taking a deep breath, Lily pushed herself off of the toilet and went to unlock the door before stepping back and composing her face in, what she hoped, would be an annoyed look.

"What?" she snapped when he hesitantly pushed his way into the room. He took one look at her and crossed the room quickly, taking her in his arms. Her body tensed in his hold but when he didn't say anything and just held her, Lily fell into tears once more. When did James get so bloody perceptive? She clutched at his clothes as he lowered them to the floor, sat her in his lap, and let her tears soak his night shirt.

"Shh, it will be alright. Whatever it is, it will get better," he promised her over and over again. She thought of how her father used to comfort her after her fights with Tuney and was sent into more hysterics.

Once her eyes had seemed to run out of tears, she took a few deep breaths and hesitantly looked up into James' face. Had this been any other situation, her face would have been ablaze with color due to their precarious position but at the moment, all she could feel was shame.

Shame at being caught in her lie; shame at needing someone to comfort her; and shame at it being this boy, James Potter, who had finally gotten Lily Evans to unlock the door to all of her misery.

Sure, she had cried in front of her friends and family, but she had never lost control of everything. She hadn't even cried this hard at either of her parents funerals. Grief had always been a solitary activity that Lily participated in alone but now here she was, on the bathroom floor having just cried her eyes out cuddled up in James' lap.

She pushed herself up off of him and went to splash some cold water onto her face. James clamored into a standing position and waited for her to face him but she was having a difficult time being able to look him in the eye after what had just happened.

"Lily," he started. She was finally able to catch his eye and was surprised that she didn't see any trace of pity in his expression; all there was, was deep warmth as he once again embraced her and stroked her hair. "You don't have to tell me why, but just know that I'll be here for you."

With that, James exited the room and left Lily alone with her thoughts. Had that really just happened? Her heart was beating a pounding rhythm through her veins again but not out of fear; the unexpectedness of the morning had thrown her off and Lily quickly showered and got ready for her classes.

When she exited the loo, James was no where to be found and Lily could feel the disappointment swell in her chest; looks like she would be heading down to the Great Hall alone.

Had she scared him this morning? Did he feel uncomfortable around her now? These thoughts and more swam through her head on the way down to breakfast and she couldn't help but worry about how he would act towards her in classes today.

She located her friends about halfway down the Gryffindor table and sat trying her best to keep a smile on her face; there was no reason to alert the other girls to her anguish.

"Morning Lily, did you see the notice about the Halloween Dance?" Cecilia asked looking as tired as Lily felt. She hadn't seen it. "Well it's on Halloween night, obviously; do you think you'll get asked by anyone?"

Lily felt her heart flutter at the possibility of James asking her for the 4th year in a row but shrugged her shoulders.

"I may, I don't know though… it's only about a month away. What do you all think that you will wear?" This sent her friends into a frenzy about their plans and Lily felt safe to let her mind wander onto a boy with raven black hair that had yet to show up for breakfast.

"Lily!" It seemed that Cecilia had been trying to gain her attention.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Did you have that dream again last night?" Her friend replied in a put out tone.

"Huh? Oh yeah," she said grasping at the far off memory, "it happened just the same as it had before. You don't think I should be worried about it, do you?"

Audrey shrugged. "I think there's no need to go mental over it. It's just a dream after all."

Alice was nodding her head in agreement, "It's just your mind worrying about something and changing it into something unrelated. I read all about it in one of those muggle psychology books that I borrowed from your dad-."

She had stopped talking abruptly but since her cry this morning, Lily was too exhausted to get upset. "It's fine Alice," she whispered quietly thinking about James' soft promises this morning.

"I'm just a git, sorry Lil; sometimes it just slips out." Her friend looked pained with the guilt of bringing up her dad. Why was James able to look at her without pity but her best friends had trouble mentioning him and stealing pitying glances as if she were some fragile child?

She stood up, suddenly unable to stand the tension emanating from her three friends. "I forgot my book bag up in my room; I'll see you guys in class."

Maybe that's why she enjoyed being around the marauders so much; they didn't know about her past and no one felt the need to watch what they said.

Lily returned to her common room to gather up her books and then set out for Double Potions hoping that the time would pass quickly; between her anger at her friends and the unusual events that happened between her and James this morning, Lily was sure that the Potions room would seem exceedingly small.

She was the first to enter the dungeon classroom and sat at her usual desk pulling out her usual notebook and quill. Professor Slughorn had brewed a potion that Lily recognized as the love potion Amortentia. This would be an interesting class indeed.

Before she could stand to investigate the potion closer though, her Professor bustled into the dark room and exclaimed in surprise at the sight of her.

"Oh hullo Lovely Lily; a little anxious to start class this morning I see? It will be a great one." His large belly bounced with his laughter and he gave her a large wink. He had always been one of her favorite teachers, always encouraging her and helping her to become better.

"With the Amortentia that you've brewed, I'm positive that you're not mistaken sir." He gave another hearty laugh that shook his entire being.

"Excellent Lily Evans, you really are the brightest witch of your age; no wonder you were appointed Head Girl. I believe that the wizarding world can expect great things from you."

Before she could respond, the door opened once more to reveal James who stood there looking awkwardly between her and their Professor.

"Hullo mister Potter, it seems that our two Heads are taking their education quite seriously this term. Well come in, come in." He waved his massive hands at the tall youth and bustled into the back supply room in, what Lily assumed, an attempt to give them some alone time. She wished that he hadn't.

"Hullo Evans, I, um… I got you this," he said extending a chocolate frog towards her, "I was going to leave it on you desk as a surprise but since you're here…"

Lily reached out her hand and took the present feeling a lovely warmth grow inside of her chest. "It's brilliant, thank you." She beamed up at him.

"My mum always said that chocolate can cheer up any cloudy day, and you seemed to be having a rough one…" his speech trailed off as his hand started attacking the back of his hair yet again.

"Your mum's a smart lady, I really appreciate this. Would you like to share it?" She asked. They still had a few minutes until the rest of the students would join them. He nodded and took the empty seat next to her.

"Thank you, by the way." Her cheeks flushed a little as her fingers pried open the packaging.

"For what?" His brows were drawn together in confusion again and Lily couldn't help but giggle.

"For this morning; it was really nice of you to be so worried about me." She watched as his face lit up with pride and then fell into a more serious stare.

"I meant what I said, you know; if you ever need someone I am just a few steps away." His heart felt words caught her by surprise and Lily wondered if Professor Slughorn could hear them.

They shared the chocolate frog and a bit of light conversation and when the rest of the students started to file in, James moved to his usual seat in the row behind her. She almost whished that he would have stayed.

Alice came in shortly after looking terribly ashamed. She took her seat next to Lily and went to say something but then stopped with her mouth open, as if she couldn't find the words.

"Ali, it's fine; I'm fine… let's just forget about it." She hated to see her best friend so contrite. With a grateful smile Alice agreed and started a conversation about the dance again.

Lily was half paying attention to her friend and half listening to a heated discussion that was happening behind her.

Sirius had come in and taken his seat next to James and immediately began whispering to his best mate about how he should "ask her already". This had spiked her interest and wondered if Sirius was talking about her.

"You know I can't. We're busy that night and I really don't want to go."

"Just do it; we all know that you're dying to anyway and one night off wont mean much to us." Lily could hear the frustration leaking from every world that Sirius uttered.

"No. Like I said, there is no way that I'm going to ask her out. I like the way that things are."

She wondered who they were talking about. The idea struck her that this mysterious person could be her but in the next moment her heart was aching with the possibility that it could be some other girl. Had James found someone new to fancy?

Slughorn interrupted both her internal dialogue and the whispering match behind her. "Good morning students, I've got a great potion for you today but I must warn you, it may be one of the more dangerous brews that I can teach you. Can anyone tell me what we have here?" He indicated to the pot bubbling to his right.

Lily's hand shot up along with a few others scattered throughout the room.

"Well I know for a fact the Miss Evans knows what potion this is, so let me see here… Mister Black? Do you know what it is? No? Perhaps you should be paying attention then instead of napping." Sirius' head lifted off of the desk.

"Mister Diggory, then? What do you suppose it is?"

"That's Amortentia, that is." Amos looked smug as he answered and Lily could have sworn that his eyes drifted towards her for a moment before returning toward the front.

"Very good. This potion is often called the most powerful love Potion in existence but in fact, it can only cause infatuation or obsession with the brewer. Does anyone know what is special about it?" Lily's hand shot up again. "Yes Miss Evans?"

"It is rumored that, when brewed correctly, Amortentia gives off the aroma of what attracts each person the most."

"Excellent Lily! Today, we will break off into pairs of two in order to try and produce the Amortentia potion. Let us see… I believe that Miss Cooper and Mister Longbottom should work together. Mister Black and Miss Anderson. Mister Lupin and Mister Diggory. And Miss Evans and Mister Potter."

Lily lost track of the other sets of partners as her stomach tightened with happiness at being able to work with James. Turning around, he flashed her a smile and gathered his books to move next to her. Yes, this would be an interesting class indeed.

"All right Evans? Let's get started shall we?" His smile was intoxicating. They set out following the steps of the potion and picking up their conversation easily from where they had left off. Soon it was time to let the potion sit and they were able to just talk.

"So," Lily started, "did you hear about the Halloween Dance?" She really did want him to ask her again but for some reason, James seemed uncomfortable about this change of subject.

"Yeah, bit of a joke really. I don't fancy going to something so silly." Lily could feel the heat rush to her face. Hadn't he been the one begging her to go to this very same dance since the third year? Maybe he really didn't fancy her anymore.

"Oh. I think it might be rather brilliant this year. It's been ages since I've gone." She was trying to impress upon him that she might be willing to say yes if he would just ask the bloody question.

"Well I guess you might be right, but I just don't fancy it." Her face fell as she realized that James wouldn't be asking her. She had been so silly believing that he might still fancy her. She was just a broken girl who had refused him one too many times and perhaps he had chosen over the summer to just move on. She wondered again who the girl was that Sirius wanted him to ask out.

She changed the subject and tried to smile as the awful knot in her stomach twisted painfully.

Smoke began to drift out of their cauldron in the characteristic spirals and Lily leaned over to see if it had finished. She was curious as to what it would smell like and cautiously took a sniff.

Her senses were bombarded with the smell of the air shortly after a heavy rain, the smell of milk chocolate, and a slight whiff of something that she had only been in contact with a few times but couldn't place where she knew it from. It had a darker tone and she was sure that this mystery would drive her mental if left unsolved.

James leaned in and stood for a moment before turning to her with a look that she couldn't quite place.

"I think that we managed this potion fairly well," he laughed a little bit at an unknown joke to himself and then clapped her on the back. "Good work Evans."

Lily smiled up at him and then collected a sample for their grade. James cleaned up the work station as she took the finished project up to Professor Slughorn.

"My word, Lily, this potion is nearly perfect." She gladly handed it over to him for further inspection. "You and Mister Potter make quite the team." The knot in her stomach gave another unhappy little twist as she thanked him and walked back to collect her bags.

"Would you like to walk with me?" James looked calm and joyous as if he were unaware of her inner turmoil about why he wouldn't ask her out anymore.

"Sure," she forced another smile onto her face and made to set out to enjoy their free period. She was sure that as James said goodbye to his friends, that Sirius had once again hissed an "ask her" at his retreating back.

They spent their time roaming the grounds and talking. They quickly picked up their favorite game of truth that had continued after that first night of duty. Lily avoided talking about what had upset her so badly this morning and James never asked.

She was so unused to people respecting her privacy that there were times when she almost told him out of sheer thankfulness. If she had, though, Lily was sure that he would take the information better than most everyone else.

She felt her heart yearn for him to fancy her like he had even just last year but was unsurprised when he never made a move.

The next few weeks passed in anticipation for her; every morning, Lily would wake up and hope that James would have changed his mind about the dance and would ask her but that never happened.

There were a couple of nights that she woke up crying over a dream about her parents but she never sought out the comfort that she knew James would offer so willingly because to be in his arms and know that he didn't fancy her anymore would only add to her pain.

Finally with only a week before the dance, Lily gave him up for a bad job. She had her outfit picked out and would attend with her friends hoping that the night would turn out to be fun even without a date.

But the day that she decided once and for all on these plans, something unexpected happened. Lily was walking out of the Transfiguration classroom when she heard a voice call out her name from behind her. She spun around and was face to face with none other than Amos Diggory.

"Hullo Lily."

"Hi Amos, do you need me for something?" She noticed that his face went rather pink as she asked this.

"I was… well, I was just wondering… with the dance coming up and all, if you had been asked by anybody yet?" He was finding it hard to meet her eyes and she was rather stunned by his question.

"No, I'm not going with anyone yet."

"Oh! Well… would you- I mean maybe if you want to, would you want to come with me?" His face was alight with glee at her not already having a date and she was rather flattered by his offer. To hell with James, she thought, might as well have some fun.

"I think that'd be lovely, Amos." His face was positively glowing with happiness.

"Great! I'll meet you by the Great Hall at 8 on Friday then!" She nodded and watched as he practically skipped off in his delight. Well, at least she had a date now.

Walking to the Great Hall, Alice caught her up about five minutes later and Lily couldn't contain her news for long. Her friend was glad Lily finally had someone to go with and that he happened to be most of the most eligible boys in school.

Lily had neglected to mention her fancying a certain black haired boy to any of her friends yet and was glad that nobody but herself knew.

Alice loudly shared Lily's new plans for the dance with their friends at dinner effectively made her friend's face turn a new shade of red as many others surrounding her called out their congratulations.

Her eyes were caught by a pair of dark hazel for a moment and Lily was sure that he was not a joyous about the news as the rest of her friends. When he immediately turned his attention away from her though, Lily sent some choice curse words mentally towards him because it was his fault not asking her first.

She enjoyed the dinner with the girls but was finally ready to call it a night. She had woken up early again because of the dream of the young child and her eyes were already drifting shut desperate for more sleep.

When she reached the common room, Lily was unsurprised to see James sitting by the fire; they usually had a nightly talk before heading off to bed but tonight he looked rather put off about something.

"Hullo," she said hesitantly. He didn't answer right away, only staring at her with a look of fury on his face.

"I hear you've got a date." His arms were crossed and his usual smile was gone. Why was he so upset about this?

"So what if I have?" she said crossly.

"Amos is a git. Why would you agree to go with him?" he had stood up and Lily could feel her temper rising.

"He is not a git! He is kind and respectable and he asked me." Why was she getting so worked up about this? It was silly. It was only one dance that she was going to with him.

"He is a git and I cannot comprehend why you would agree to go."

"I happen to enjoy dances and having a good time, unlike some other people that I know." She glared at him.

James threw his hands above his head an started pacing. "I thought… Godric, I don't know what I thought. But it sure as hell wasn't this." Lily was thrown into confusion as she tried to decipher his last sentence but he was already talking again.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. Have fun with that stupid bloody git. Hell if I care." With that, James stormed off in the direction of his room and Lily could hear his room slam shut.

She waited in front of the fire for a few hours doing her homework and hoping that James would come back down to apologize but at half past eleven, Lily packed up her stuff and went to bed without a goodnight hug for the first time since they had started the ritual.

Her room felt chilly as she lay down to sleep. Her mind drifted over the events of the past couple of weeks and couldn't come up with a solution as to why James was so upset about her going to the dance with Amos.

She thought about his parting words, '_hell if I care'_ and could feel the knot in her stomach grow in size as the tears began to build at the corner of her eyes. Stupid girl, you can't do anything right, can you?


	11. Halloween

**Halloween**

Lily woke up feeling drained. She had had nightmares all night about her family, about the mysterious crying boy and about a certain dark haired boy whom had been avoiding her for the past week.

Pushing her covers off of herself, Lily climbed out of bed and her eyes caught sight of the calendar. Today was the day. It was finally time for the Halloween dance that she had waited so long for.

Since Amos had asked her to go with him, time seemed to have been going at half speed. Her joy at having a date and then the falling out the her and James suffered because of it had sent her through a spiral of emotions.

Lily had woken up the next day hoping to speak with James before classes but he had already left by the time she had made it down stairs. He didn't attend breakfast, and in classes he was always the last one in and the first one to leave.

She had tried waiting up for him in the common room but she never saw him enter or leave, although the portrait hole would open on it's own sometimes.

How had things turned out so skewed? All she had wanted was for James to do what he had every year and ask her to the bloody stinking dance.

The one time that she had managed to corner him had been another day in Potions. Professor Slughorn had partnered them up again and she thought that maybe this would be her chance to set things right again. The moment he sat down, however, he had ignored her greeting and had just started preparing the ingredients for the polyjuice potion that they were assigned to concoct.

She kept trying to catch his attention but was forced into silence after he shot her a heated glare. Nobody had ever looked at her like that, not even the Slytherin scum that insisted on calling her a Mudblood.

Lily rested her head in her hands and hoped that after tonight, maybe she could have her friend back. This had all started because of her going to the dance with Amos, after all, and perhaps once that was done, things could go back to how they were before.

With a small sigh, Lily pushed off of the bed and went to shower before heading down to lunch with the girls.

Once she arrived at the table, everyone shot her a joyous hullo and watched as she stared moodily at her bacon and eggs.

"Lil? What's been the matter with you lately?" Alice started bravely.

"Yeah girl, you've been pretty down these past couple of days." Audrey added helpfully. Cecilia merely nodded and said that they were all here if she needed to talk.

"Thank you, I don't think it's proper to discuss here though," she replied eyeing three of the marauders down the table.

"Well how about we go for a stroll around the castle then before dinner?" Audrey really did enjoy getting out of doors as much as possible.

"That sounds lovely," she replied as James finally entered the room refusing to look at her. His face was impassive and focused on his friends who, Lily noticed, were looking apprehensively up at him. Sirius caught her eye and gave something between a glare and a shrug.

Her stomach was in knots as she and her friends exited the castle into the cool fall air. She caught sight of the Forbidden Forest and was mesmerized by the bright oranges, yellows, and reds that hung from the branches and littered the forest floor.

Lily took a large lungful of autumn air and held it in; she loved this season the most. The colours were breathtaking and everything had that pre-winter feel to it. She enjoyed walking through the pumpkin patch, drinking warm cider, and stepping on every single crunchy leaf that she could find. Even the Whomping Willow didn't scare her as much with its brightly coloured branches swinging merrily through the air.

Her friends veered off to follow Audrey's running path around the grounds and Lily trailed behind trying to think of a way to tell them about her secrets.

Eventually, the other three slowed their pace and Alice was able to link their arms together.

"So tell us, what's on your mind love?"

Lily let out a large sigh and began her explanation.

"You know how I had been hanging out with James and the marauders a lot? Well during the Hogsmeade trip, they took me on this breath taking trail up the mountains into the most beautiful valley I have ever seen." They all nodded.

"So we're climbing up the side of this cliff and I think to myself 'what are you doing? This is completely mental.' And then I look up into James' face and realized that I was doing it for him. Somehow, in the past month or so, I've begun to fancy him." She waited for their inhale of shocked breath but none came.

"Lils," Cecilia said softly, "we'd kind of figured that you might fancy him. You were just so happy whenever we saw you with him and… well it was pretty obvious."

She couldn't control her shock. Lily thought that she had been hiding it quite well.

"Well… alright then. So I finally start to fancy him and you know what? He refuses any mention of the Halloween dance and detests the thought of going even though he's asked me the past four years running. Like an idiot, I wait for weeks for him to change his mind but eventually give up and then Amos asks me. Of course you all know that I said yes, and then James starts this row with me about it, like it was my fault that he hadn't asked me."

Lily was breathing hard and trying to work through the problem in her head for the hundredth time but cannot come up with a reasonable answer.

"Well Lily, I think that it's obvious." Audrey supplied. Lily gazed at her friend and hoped to be enlightened to some great truth. "He still fancies you and is hurt that you would agree to go with someone else right when you two were getting so close."

"That can't be it. James hasn't made a single move on me this year. By this time last year, he had asked me out over ten times!" She could feel the despair swell within her chest again. "What if he fancies some other, more interesting girl?"

Alice patted her hair down, "that could never happen," she whispered, "he'd be a fool to ever give up on you."

They all repeated something along the same lines but Lily had always had an analytical mind that questioned the comforting words of others. They continued their walk in silence for a bit more until passing the Quidditch Pitch where Lily could easily distinguish James and his friends playing a quick match.

She walked quickly away from the boys and back towards the castle to start their laborious work to get ready for that night. They started off with painting each other's nails. Then came the time consuming task to preparing each other's hair.

It was always better to do your hair in the muggle way with curlers and flatirons because the spell work was tricky to perform and Lily had seen more than one girl lose her hair over a badly preformed charm.

The first to be worked on would be Alice. She wanted her hair to be done up with soft curls that surrounded her face. The next was Audrey who preferred the half up, half down with straight hair. Cecilia loved it when her long hair had curls near the end that gave her an older, more mature look and then Lily was the last one who had her long auburn hair pinned into an elegant bun at the nape of her neck.

Their hair took them hours to complete and by that point it was about time for dinner. Each girl charmed their hair into a frozen position and then headed down to enjoy some supper before returning to the Gryffindor common room to complete their night looks.

Each girl took charge of their own make up and Lily was glad to be the one in control. She smoothed on a small layer of foundation and powder before swiping on the soft brown line of her eye liner. She then added a dark green shadow to her lid and swiped on her characteristic brown mascara. To finish off her look, Lily added a light pink gloss to her lips.

The other girls did vaguely the same things but with different colour shadows. It was then time for all of them to disappear up to the 7th year girl's dormitory to change into their costumes.

Alice and Frank had decided to dress as princess and prince combo. She wore a beautiful floor-length dress that was tinted a light blue. It was tight over her torso but flared dramatically off of her hips. She had decided to add a small tiara resting elegantly on her curls and charmed the stones to reflect more light each time she moved. Lily was sure that Frank wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of her friend.

Cecelia had tried to find some humor in the holiday and dress herself, ironically, as a witch; or at least what muggles thought a witch should look like. She wore a knee length black dress, which was cut down into triangle shapes at the bottom, and had ¾ sleeves. It was tightly fitted around her chest but didn't look bad. She also sported a tall black witch's hat and carried one of the school brooms in his hand.

Audrey had gone for a more subtle approach and dressed up in her sport uniform. She wore a small pair of shorts, a tank top, and tall stripped socks that were pulled up to her knees. Her trainers were neon pink which matched the sweat bands around her forehead and wrists.

Once she was sure that her friend's looks were coming together, Lily took the time to finish off her own.

As she looked in the floor length mirror she was able to see the fairy costume that she sported. It was made from light green and purple materials that were translucent and layered on top of one another. It reached the mid part of her thigh, which made Lily a bit anxious, and was tight from her hips up to her chest.

The sleeves were off the shoulder, bubbled straps and hung loosely when her arms were by her sides. Lily had taken an opportunity earlier this week to charm herself a set of moving wings and as she turned around, they were visible once more.

Each wing was moving of their own accord and the light danced off of the white shimmering material easily. Satisfied with her handiwork, Lily conjured a couple of small butterflies to follow her throughout the night and charmed some wild flowers to sit beautifully in her hair.

The entire effect was quite alarming. If Lily hadn't known that it was her standing in the mirror, she would have been exceedingly envious.

Agreeing that each and every one of them looked spectacular, the four girls threw on their shoes and made their way down into the Gryffindor common room. Eyes turned to stared at them as they passed and Lily could feel her face heat up with embarrassment. Should she have chosen something else to wear? Did she look ridiculous?

Frank was waiting on one of the armchairs by the fire when they entered the room. The moment that he saw Alice appear, he jumped up and ran rather clumsily toward her.

"Good evening, m'lady," he said while bowing and offering her his hand. She took it and he glanced up while kissing the back of it. Alice giggled at the action.

"Good evening, good prince." Lily had never seen her friend happier and for a moment she wondered what it would feel like to be going with James tonight and if she might have had a chance to be that happy.

"Shall I escort you lovely ladies down to the dance hall then?" They eagerly agreed and walked past as he held the portrait door open for each of them. Lily noticed that Alice and Frank had already intertwined their hands and she doubted that either would let go all night.

Frank commented that all of them looked smashing and was particularly eager to praise his girlfriend for her choice of outfit that night.

By the time that they reached the bottom of the stairs, Lily was quite eager to get away from the couple because the knot in her stomach grew more painful with each loving gesture that they made.

Luckily, Amos was already waiting for her. As she approached him, Lily could hear the pounding beat of music that lay just beyond the doors to the Great Hall. Amos had decided to sport the outfit of a popular muggle movie hero named Zorro. He had black trousers, a black shirt, cape, and trainers. He also sported a black mask around his eyes.

He offered her his arm and she gladly took it. Walking into the newly transformed Great Hall, Lily noticed that all four of the large tables had been removed; instead, there were a number of smaller tables scattered out throughout the room in which tired party-goes could sit a rest before joining back in at the dance.

The walls now sported black and purple fabric decorated with real spider webs and, Lily suspected, their real inhabitants. The air was full with floating candles, flying bats and pumpkins that had faces that glowed out from the darkness.

She was always surprised at how quickly this room could be reconfigured. The enchanted ceiling above showed Lily a full moon and a cloudless night before Amos dragged her over to the refreshment table.

"Would you like a drink?" He asked leaning down to whisper in her ear. She shook her head no and watched as he grabbed himself a fire whiskey. He drank it quickly and led her onto the dance floor.

As he spun her around to the music, Lily realized that she was actually having a good time; she wasn't attracted to Amos, but he sure knew how to dance. She could see glimpses of Alice and Frank as they wove their way slowly around in circles, ignoring the tempo of the song and just being content in each others arms.

Audrey and Cecelia were chatting to some cute 6th year boys as they danced happily in a group. She was happy that they were having a good time.

After a few hours of dancing, Lily could feel her feet about ready to fall off but as she tried to lead Amos to a table to take a break, he just pulled her all that more tightly against him.

"You look hot tonight Lily," she could smell his fifth fire whiskey on his breath and pulled away roughly. There was no way the she would allow him to treat her like that.

Lily took off her heels and walked from the Great Hall and straight out the front doors of the castle for some fresh air. She hadn't expected for him to follow her and as she felt his hand close upon her upper arm, Lily let out a gasp of pain.

"Oh don't run away, I just meant to give you a compliment." She tried to loosen his grip on her, but Amos was strong and she was tired. He led her to a small patch of trees near the entrance way and pushed her roughly against the wall. "With the way that you're dressed, you can't be too surprised," he purred in her ear and she could feel the beginnings of fear building within the pit of her stomach.

"Amos, you're hurting me. Please let go," she pleaded with him softly. He was pissed out of his mind and didn't know how she was going to get away.

"Not until we've had a little bit more fun, beautiful," his left hand slid down her side until it met with her bare thigh. She gasped in fright at the lustful tone of his voice and her mind went blank of any way to gain her freedom.

"Now… kiss me Evans; I know you want to." She shook her head furiously; she was not going to waste her first kiss like this. As he ducked his head toward hers she turned away which only seemed to make him angrier. His hand wrapped its way around her back and violently pulled her so that she was crushed up against him.

Lily could feel the utter helplessness taking over as tears began to build behind her eyes. "Please no," she said again.

"Oi!" The voice broke through the empty night like a gun shot and Amos threw his head around quickly to glare at the intruder. "Let her go Diggory."

Lily was happy to hear that it was James who had come to her rescue.

"Go away Potter, we're trying to have a private moment here," he crushed Lily even harder against himself.

"Evans," James said roughly, "do you want me to leave you alone?" She shook her head quickly no and begged him silently to help her out of this mess. Lily could see the anger building with James eyes.

"Take your filthy hands off of her Diggory." Amos tried to ignore him and turned his attention back to trying to snog Lily but she turned her head once more as the first tear snaked its way down her cheek.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Lily felt Amos' arms and legs snap together and watched as he fell sideways onto the cold ground. She ran from him and towards James who had his hand offered to her.

"Come on Evans; let's go back inside." She just nodded; the implications of what could have just happened were catching up to her and she couldn't seem to find her voice.

Instead of leading her back towards the dance, however, James turned up the stairs and Lily followed him automatically. When they had finally made it far enough away from Amos for James' liking, he spun around on her with fury once again in his eyes.

"Well?" Lily didn't quite understand what he was looking for but it occurred to her that maybe he wanted some gratitude.

"Thank you, I'm sorry that I put you through so much trouble tonight." She was feeling ashamed once more.

"Damn it Lily, what the hell? I don't want you to apologize. I want to know that you're alright and that that stupid bloody git didn't do anything to hurt you. I need you to tell me that everything is alright so that I won't go back down there and beat him senseless for touching you. Imagine what could have happened if I hadn't been walking by!" He was pacing back and forth in front of her.

"What does it matter anyway? He was drunk and I shouldn't have worn this stupid outfit. He said that it was obvious that I wanted it by the way that I'm dressed." She could hear the shame and dejection in her voice.

"Oh Godric, why the hell didn't you listen to me Evans? Why did you have to go with that piece of pond scum?" Lily felt all of the pain and anger of the past couple weeks build up.

"He asked me! I had spent weeks hoping that you would be the one to ask me but you had obviously moved on from fancying me and I was sad! So, yes, I said I would go with Amos but, Godric, I wish I hadn't." The tears were building at a faster rate now that she had finally been able to tell him what was on her mind.

James looked like he had been hit by a bludger. "You… you wanted me to ask you?"

"Yes! I thought that it was obvious; in potions I asked and you were so ag-". Her words were cut off by James who had suddenly crossed the space between them and crushed his lips to hers. His hands rested on either side of her face, holding her gently to him as his lips moved with heated passion. Surprise flooded her every thought but she was quickly able to regain control of her body. Lily wound her arms around the back of his neck and tried to keep up with the pace of his kiss. It felt like another pice of her life had fallen into place.

After a few brilliant moments in each other's arms, James ended the kiss far too early for Lily's preference. He set his forehead against hers and let his eyes close.

"I have wanted to do that for years," he whispered quietly. She was breathing heavily and nodded her head, knowing that he could feel her response. They stood still for a few moments more before James could gather his courage and look at her again.

"Godric, you're beautiful tonight." In the back of her mind, Lily compared this feeling to the one of fear she had had only a few minutes before hand out on the grounds.

"Thank you for saving me tonight. I was so scared." James' face went dark again and nodded solemnly.

"I saw you two out there and I didn't care if you were there willingly or not, I couldn't let him touch you. Anger took over and I just had to go and get you away from him." His hands left her face and wrapped around her to bring her to him for a hug. "I'm sorry that it had gotten so far before I got there."

She felt herself shiver at the thought of him not getting there at all. "You were just in time." She whispered. After a few more moments, James pulled away.

"Well, what do you say we go back to the common room? I don't think you'd fancy returning to the dance?" She shook her head against the dance and started off in the direction of their rooms.

As they walked, James grabbed her hand and Lily couldn't help but smile at how the night had unfolded. Amos had turned out to be a jerk, but at least she had gotten the chance to snog James because of it. Things were about to change, she was sure of it.


	12. Quidditch

**First, I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone reading and reviewing this story. I love seeing new things in my inbox and your reviews are really what help to inspire me to update quickly. The critics that I have been getting are very helpful and I take each one into consideration. Thank you again everyone and happy reading! 3**

**Quidditch**

The morning after the dance Lily awoke from her first sleep without a nightmare in weeks. She lay in bed remembering the events of the evening before. What was she going to be like when she saw Amos? Would he remember what happened?

She raised her fingers to her lips. Oh Godric, she had kissed James Potter. Did he want to date her? She felt like a royal pain at the way she had been thinking over the past week… maybe he really did still fancy her. Perhaps she should apologize? She hadn't actually said anything to him but her thoughts and actions had not been kind.

Should she go talk to him now? Lily was half way out of bed before she remembered what today was: the first Quidditch match of the term; Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. It was already 11 in the morning and Lily wasn't sure if she would be able to catch him alone for the appropriate amount of time before the match.

Climbing the rest of the way out of her sheets, Lily decided to try any way and quickly made her way down the stairs. No James; and his broom was already missing from the far corner. Sighing and resigning herself to no knowing for the day, Lily decided to shower.

As she looked in the mirror, there was a rather large bruise near the top of her arm; it must have been where Amos had grabbed her and she wondered what had happened to him after her and James had left.

Lily hopped in the shower and finished her getting ready after, making sure that she wore a shirt long enough to cover the new bruise. She decided that perhaps she should go consult with her friends about what had happened last night. She gathered up her stuff for the day and set out for Gryffindor tower.

On the way there, Lily passed the secret passageway that James had led her to last night and had the decency to blush. She couldn't believe that not even 3 months ago, James had inspired so much hate within her and now she had snogged him in an abandoned corridor.

As soon a Lily tried to get into Gryffindor tower, she learned that the password had finally changed and that she was not aware of the new one. As she waited for anyone to come in or out of the area, Lily was able to think about her life for a moment.

So here she was, Head Girl at Hogwarts; her parents were both dead and her friends were afraid of hurting her feelings by mentioning them too often. She had almost no money and had no idea what to do after school ended in the spring. Lily thought of the boys who had stepped into her life in the past couple of months and smiled.

She had new friends, was no longer full of hate, and even fancied a boy she had sworn to loathe. What else could happen in her little life? Surely this was enough excitement for one person to handle.

Lily jumped up as the portrait swung forward to reveal several people; one of them was James. He caught her eye and smiled walking over to her.

"Hey, why are you hanging around out here?" His hand was already at the back of his hair and Lily wondered if he was also thinking about last nights adventures.

"The password changed and I don't know the new one. I was hoping to have a visit with the girls before the match this afternoon." He smiled.

"So you're going then?" She nodded her ascent and blushed as he stepped closer to her to avoid a group of second years trying to get in.

"Yeah, well, I thought that it might be a brilliant day for a Gryffindor win, yeah?" His smile grew even larger and she could feel her face heat up as he winked down at her.

"You bet it is. I have to go warm up now, but I'll look for you in the crowd." He looked at her nervously and she thought that he looked as if her were trying to talk himself into doing something. He seemed to decide against it and just waved at her as he went to go rejoin his friends.

Lily turned back toward the portrait hole just in time to see it swing shut.

"Bugger!" She hated waiting; why hadn't she asked what the new password was.

If took about ten more minutes for a lonely first year to make his way up from breakfast and let her in the door. She smiled her thanks at him, as he ran off to his dormitory, and then searched the common room for her three best friends.

They were no where in sight and so Lily climbed up the stairs to her old room and pushed open the door hoping that someone would be there.

Luckily, all three of her friends were in the room talking and laughing. Lily felt a moment of loss when she realized how much she was missing out on by being at the Head's common room all of the time. Perhaps that's why there was awkwardness between them lately; Lily was sad about not being included as much, and her friends really had no idea what was going on with her after what happened over the summer.

She vowed to try and make them understand today. She hated the way that she had been acting. Something about being terrified out of your mind can really change the way you view life.

Pushing the door all of the way open she was greeted by the smiles of her best friends. They made room for her on the floor in between Alice and Cecilia and then picked up on their conversation.

"Frank was wonderful all night," she stated happily, "he really made it magical. We danced for hours and went for a charming walk around the grounds under the moon light and I'm just so happy."

"Frank asked Alice to go steady with him last night," Cecilia supplied helpfully.

"Congratulations Ali!" She really was very happy for the two of them; it had been a long road coming.

"Thank you," she was beaming. "What about your night Lil? Did you have fun with Amos; you two disappeared halfway through the night." Lily shivered at the thought and then filled her friends in on what had happened. She explained about how he had chased after her outside and then about what he had been planning. They all gasped in outrage at her plight.

"But then James showed up and rescued me," she continued, "he led me inside and then yelled a bit but when I told him that I had only gone with Amos because James hadn't asked me…" she took a breath, "he kissed me!"

"You're kidding!" Audrey exclaimed. Lily shook her head and looked thoroughly please with herself.

"What was it like? I don't know if right after you being attacked was a good decision on his part but…" Alice's voice died off as Lily cut her off.

"It was brilliant. I'm so glad that he did; it was really able to take the whole awful situation off of my mind."

"Well, so what now? Are you two going out or…?" Cecilia looked at her friend with curiosity. Lily had never been the type of girl to snog a boy in a corridor.

"I don't know… we haven't really had a chance to talk about it. He was already out of the room when I woke up, and there's a match today so I don't think I'll have an opportunity until late tonight." Lily thought once again about how she missed living with her friends.

"Hey," she started shyly, "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately."

"It's alright Lil; we understand that you're going through a lot." Alice was always the one to blow it off.

"No, it's not just my parents. I was afraid; afraid that not living with you would split apart our friendships. I've been so messed up after losing my dad that I was just afraid that if I depended too heavily on you all, that eventually you would leave me also and I don't think I could survive that."

Lily could feel her eyes prickle again as she finally let her friends know what she had been afraid of for months now. Cecilia gripped her hand.

"No need to worry, Lils; we're not going any where. We're sisters; can't you see that you're stuck with us?" Lily let out the breath that she hadn't realized she was holding and smiled.

"Thank you girls; I love you all so much." They all agreed with her and eventually everyone fell into a small group hug.

Straightening up, they all decided that it was time to grab some lunch before the match started. They all ate quickly dress in their Gryffindor best and then headed out to the pitch to try and get good seats.

The all managed to fit onto a row near the top of the stands where they were sure to have a great view of the upcoming match. The stands began to fill up steadily around them and Lily's anticipation was growing.

At one point she made eye contact with a distraught looking Amos Diggory but was sure to look away quickly, fingering the bruise on her arm.

Eventually it was time for the match to start.

"Good afternoon everyone! Isn't it a lovely day for a match?" A small 4th year girl by the name of Skeeter was running the commentary of the game this year. Lily didn't like her much because she was far too interested in gossip and lies.

"And here we have our Gryffindor team! Out comes Black, Anderson, Belby, Bones, McFallen, Jones, and of course, Captain Potter!" There was uproar from ¾ of the crowd as the Gryffindor team members were called onto the pitch. Even the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw members wanted them to crush the Slytherin team.

"Out come Goyle, Crabbe, Mcnair, Swyln, Parkinson, Alexander, and Captain Zabini! He is a handsome one!"

The captains shook hands and the young new referee, Madam Hooch, blew her whistle signaling the beginning of the match.

"Gryffindor Belby has the Quaffle, passes to Potter, over Bones back to Potter, and back over to Bones. He drops it after a nasty Bludger is sent his way. Mcnair in possession passes to Parkinson, back to Mcnair and ouch- that's a bludger to the arm by Black.

Potter has the Quaffle again and dodges a nice bludger by Crabbe, around Alexander and- Yes he's scored! 10-0 Gryffindor!" Lily screamed along with the others in the crowd. She saw both seekers circling the pitch looking for the golden snitch and then looked back over at James who was performing a victory lap.

"Alexander collects the Quaffle and starts off toward Anderson at the goal posts. Glides around an incoming Bludger, passes to Parkinson, over to Mcnair and Bones knocks it from his hands. Bones passes to Belby, over to Potter. Potter's sandwiched between Alexander and Mcnair but he propels himself away."

Lily could feel her anxiety growing with every moment of the match. Slytherin stole back to Quaffle after a save from Swyln and then Gryffindor was once again in possession after McFallen aims a good bit of the bludger at Alexander's broom handle.

"We see bones with the Quaffle, passes to Belby, over to Potter who swerves around the on coming Slytherin chasers and it's just Potter against Swyln. But look! It seems as though Jones has spotted the Snitch! Potter scores! Gryffindor 20-0."

Lily watched in fascination as James turned, not to look at his Seeker, but to find her eyes in the crowd. She waved happily at him for a moment until she saw Goyle aim a bludger straight at him. Without anyway to warn James, Lily had to watch as the Bludger hit him in the back and he fell tot the ground unconscious.

There were screams of happiness all around her as Jones reached the Snitch and then screams of outrage as people began to understand why James was on the ground. Madam Pomfrey had already raced onto the pitch and was examining James before Lily could even begin to move.

Goyle was being given a harsh talking to as she passed, but Lily couldn't control the anguish in her stomach at the thought that James had been distracted by her. If she hadn't been waving to him, perhaps he would have noticed the object flying straight towards him.

She could see his body being levitated into the castle up in front of her and yearned for the crowd to move more quickly. Alice grabbed her hand to try and steady her nerves but all that Lily could think of was that James could be seriously hurt and she needed to know for sure.

Finally, the sea of students had thinned enough for the four girls to break away and make their way quickly toward the hospital wing. Waiting outside of the door were James' three best mates. Sirius looked pissed off and worried while Remus and Peter both sported looks of anguish over their friend's plight.

Lily noticed that Remus still looked quite pale and shaky after his transformation last night and wondered how late he usually says out until.

"Any news?" She asked quickly.

"None so far. That bloody git shot the bludger without and provocation; they should ban him for the rest of the year." Sirius spat angrily. Lily quite agreed.

They all sat outside of the doors for about an hour before Professor McGonagall came out in a hustle.

"Professor! How is he?" Remus yelled after her before she could get very far down the hall.

"Oh, Mister Potter will be just fine. I must go speak to Professor Dumbledore about Mister Goyle though. You all can go in and visit him for a bit it if you want; he's awake." With those last words, the older woman squared her shoulders and marched off to find Dumbledore.

The group of seven made their way into the small hospital wing and looked down on the injured boy.

"Hey Prongs, how are ya feeling?" Sirius had lost all anger from his voice the moment he saw his best mate lying down with a bandage encompassing his torso.

"Been better Padfoot; been better. Pomfrey says that my back bone was severely broken by the impact but lucky for me, she can mend bones in a heart beat." Lily shuddered to think about what would have happened had James been a muggle. Back injuries were a serious problem without magic.

Since James was doing well, Alice, Audrey, and Cecilia only hung around for a little while before gently excusing themselves to go and do their assignments. The boys hung around all afternoon and the five of them laughed and joked about many things but when dinner time rolled around, they also excused themselves asking if Lily would like to accompany them.

"I think I will hang around here just a bit longer." Lily had a lot of things that she wanted to say to James that could only happen in private.

"Shoot yourself," Sirius said with a grin, "don't let Pomfrey catch you staying late though, she has a temper, that one."

As they left, Lily moved into the chair right next to James' bed. She was having a difficult time looking at him while she tried to figure out where to begin.

"Lil-"

"I'm sorry." She blurted out at the same moment that he had started talking.

"For what?" she could tell even without looking at him that his eyebrows where drawn down in confusion again.

"For everything…" Where should she start? There was so much to talk about and she had never really done this before.

"Wha-" he began but she cut him off again.

"Shhh… just let me try and get this out." She needed to try before losing her nerve. "First off, I'm sorry for the past few years. You were immature and cruel but nobody deserves some of the things that I've said to you. I know this won't explain a lot but these past four years or so have been pretty awful for me. My life has been shattered multiple times and I was scared, when you first started asking me out, that if I let you too close to me, it meant I was somehow weaker for needing help.

"I'm also really sorry for going to the dance with Amos. I had just been waiting for you to ask me and when you didn't, I figured that you had decided I wasn't worth your time anymore. I just agreed to go with him to try and get over the hurt of no going with you."

James looked a little bit amused at her little speech and her words tumbled out even faster as she tried to finish it quickly.

"James," his name rolled off her tongue in a weird way, "everyone… somehow people who get close to me always seem to… leave. I had to start to depend on myself to get over certain events in my life and it's hard for me to let people in. I'm pretty terrified about whatever is happening between us because you're the only one that I've come close to telling my secrets to. Ali, Ceci, and Dri know but they've been with me throughout all of it but with you, I can just feel myself relax and that scares me.

"I just… I'm scared because I fancy you so much. And I'm really sorry for distracting you during the match today." Lily let out a large sigh having finally been able to explain herself fully.

"Blimey Evans… Lily. That's the first time that I can remember that you've called me James." Lily buried her head into the side of the small bed. "Look at me. None of this is your fault. I was a right git back then… I was just showing off hoping that it would somehow impress you. You've been the only girl in my whole life that has made me feel like I do when I'm with you."

Lily pressed her head tightly against the side of the mattress to hide her delight. Small tears of joy had been building at the corners of her bright green eyes and she was afraid to let him see.

"Lily?" he began softly. "Please look at me." He brought his hand underneath her chin and gently raised her head so that they were face to face. Wiping a tear from the side of her face he said the one thing that she had been waiting to hear for weeks now. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Nodding her head, Lily's face broke into a large grin. She gently took his hand away from her chin and held it within her own.

"I always knew that if I kept asking, I would get you to say yes one day." He winked at her before wincing in pain, "all it took was one nasty bludger to the back."

"Oh James. I'm sorry. You could've dodged if you hadn't been paying attention to me." She felt the quilt swell up inside her stomach again.

"It was my own fault. I like the way you say my name, by the way." He was grinning like a small child on Christmas.

"James." They both sat in silence for a little while, just enjoying the feel of the other's hand in theirs. James was the one to break it finally.

"Hey, Lils?" She looked up at the hesitant use of her nickname.

"Yes?"

"You can talk to me, you know. Especially now that we're going to date. I need you to know that I'll be here for you and won't ever leave until you want me to." She smiled kindly over at him. His words meant a lot to her and she knew he meant them.

"I have a feeling that I'll tell you soon… I just- I can't right now. Just be patient with me and I promise, I'll tell you soon." James nodded seriously; his eyes were warm and kind.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here." He promised. At that moment, Madam Pomfrey bustled out of her office at the end of the room.

"Visiting hours are long over my dears," she snapped, "Mister Potter needs his rest. Out- out you go." Lily stood from her chair as the irate healer made her way over to them but was held back by the iron grasp of the hand still within hers. She turned back to him with a smile.

"Goodnight James," she whispered bending over to kiss him on the cheek and squeezing his hand one last time, "I'll see you in the morning." He released her hand, satisfied, and Lily was free to exit the Hospital wing and make her was back up to the empty common room in an unnaturally good mood.


	13. Scheme

**Thank you to all of you that have been reading and reviewing this story! I'm so happy anytime that I hear from you. I really hope that you enjoy this chapter! **

**Scheme**

It had been three days since the school began to notice that something major had happened. Not only were Lily Evans and James Potter not dueling in the corridors, which had happened pretty regularly the past six years, but the pair has now been spotted, on more than one occasion, holding hands.

Lily had been in the dining hall the morning after the Quidditch match against Slytherin when James entered. Her face had lit into a grin as he maneuvered his way, not to sit by his friends, but to take the empty seat next to her.

Sirius had been the first to make the move over to them demanding to know what James was getting at and the three marauders had worn equal masks of shock when James had proudly announced that Lily had agreed to a date.

"Blimey," Sirius had said in a dazed voice, "and I thought that Prongs was the one hit with a bludger."

Lily still found herself giggling at this statement whenever she remembered it during the day. It had been an odd experience the first time that they held hands in public. They had been on the way to Charms in the morning and at first no one seemed to notice but then everyone seemed to catch on.

There were students in 6th and 7th year that actually stopped walking in order to nudge their friends and whisper in shocked voices. Lily's face seemed to have been permanently painted red and James was always seen with his hand mussing up his hair and a self-satisfied smirk gracing his lips.

It was on this third day that something unexpected happened to her.

Lily had been on her way back up to her room after an abysmally long Care of Magical Creatures class when she was roughly dragged into a secluded hidden passageway.

Letting a squeak of surprise pass her lips and spinning around to see who would have done such a thing, Lily was face with no one else but her long forgotten best friend.

Severus Snape had backed up several feet after their initial contact and Lily was able to get a clear look at him for the first time in nearly a year and a half.

His hair still hung around his face in the characteristic black sheets but his face had lost most of the tenderness that he had shown her when they were children.

He was taller and had seemed to fill out a bit but his arms were crossed over his chest which only helped to compliment the murderous look that he was giving her.

"What do you what?" Lily snapped. The last time they had spoken Severus had all about admitted to wanting to join the Death Eaters and Lily had finally been forced to see that her friend had changed and would probably never get back to that kind boy who told her blood status didn't matter.

Whether he was hurt by her harsh tone, or not, Lily wasn't sure; she stood with her hands on her hips waiting for a reply from the boy she used to tell everything to.

"What the hell are you playing at Lily?" When he finally found his words, they were quiet and hissed through clenched teeth.

"What do you mean Snape?" She knew that the use of his surname would upset him so she was able to ignore her own twisting pain at the look in his eyes. How had they ended up like this? Why had her friend changed so much?

"Are you or are you not seeing the James Potter?" His tone was still dark as her studied her face which had gained the bright pink colour once more. Damn her excessive blushing.

"And what business of yours is it if I am?" Lily was trying to sounds refined and mature but she was afraid that it came off more as a child trying to keep her secrets hidden.

"How could you Lily?" He spoke her name with a sort of softness that she hadn't heard from him in years. "You out of all people should know how much of a blithering idiot he is. What happened to the girl that would never have dreamed about being friends, let alone seeing, a git such as Potter."

Lily could feel her rage and shame building up within her. That had been years ago that she had thrown fit after fit over how arrogant James was. How could he remind her of something so trivial when she was finally starting to regain some of her happiness?

"Unlike some people that I know, James has actually shown some growth as a human being. He is so much more than I ever thought he could be. Why do you even care? It's not like we're even friends anymore."

She could see the hurt splashed upon his face in waves. It was true though; he had finally shown her how little he meant to him by calling her a Mudblood all of those years ago. Lily had been so angry that she sent him away repeatedly until, one day, he had stopped trying.

"Lily, for the hundredth time, I'm sorry about that day. I really, really am. It was the worst mistake I've ever made!" She wanted to believe him; this past summer had been really hard and made her think about life in a completely different way.

"But," he continued, "I still cannot see what the hell you're doing with Potter." She could see how hard it was for him to control his anger and wasn't sure exactly what to say.

"Are you still planning on being mates with all of those bullies? The ones who, everyone knows, are planning on joining the Death Eaters as soon as school gets out?"

Lily could see the shame on his face as he responded. "There are some things in life that are just inevitable Lily. The world is changing and no one is safe anymore."

"I can't be friends with someone who is willing to go to such lengths to stay alive." She could feel her heart breaking for him again; why couldn't they go back to those days spent in the park? "These people hurt and kill. They hunt down muggles and muggle borns and they have no feeling of remorse for it at all."

"And you think that Potter has the right idea then? You think that fighting against these people will help in some way? People are going to die, Lily, and I don't want one of them to be you just because Potter is determined to draw you into the fight!"

"I want to fight! I can't sit by and let innocent people die! Think of their families; think about all of the grief and pain that people feel everyday! I have to do something." She could feel herself getting worked up. Lily realized that what she said was true; she would fight against this growing evil to try and save people from the pain that she felt by losing her loved ones.

"Well what about your family then? What will your dad do if you go and get yourself killed fighting against the Dark Lord?"

Lily felt as though she had been slapped. Of course Severus still didn't know about her father but that didn't stop the pain from entering her as though her veins were being frozen.

"I suppose that it will be a good that that he's already dead then. That way if I do go and get myself killed, he won't have to deal with what I went through over the summer." Her words were stiff and forced. As she turned on her heel to exit the passageway, Lily could hear Snape try to find his words.

"Lily, what? I- I didn't know. I'm so sor-" His words were cut off as the door sung shut and Lily continued her way up to the common room.

As she flung her self through the portrait hole, Lily could think of no one that she'd rather see except for James but he wasn't in her sight. Forcing her legs to move one step at a time she decided to see if he was, perhaps, in his room but one look in showed that to be empty as well.

Her mind was so full of misery that Lily couldn't make herself move back down the stairs and therefore threw herself onto James' bed, rationalizing that he wouldn't mind, and let the tears finally leak out.

She was so upset by her sudden conversation with Severus and the way in which he had so innocently brought up her father. She cried for hours, crawling under the covers to shut out the world and to try and block out her hurt. Eventually Lily fell asleep from her exhaustion but was even tormented by the same recurring dreams of strange men and the black haired baby.

What woke her up was the sound of the dormitory door swinging open accompanied by a surprised voice.

"What the- Lily?" James moved quickly over to the bed to draw back the covers and gazed down at her in concern. She tried her best to wipe away the tear marks from her cheeks which she was sure that he had already seen. "What's going on? Are you alright?"

"M'fine." She said sleepily. "Sorry… I tried to find you, but you weren't here and… well I guess I fell asleep." She felt her hair and was mortified at the tangle that it had become.

James grinned down at her. "Not that I don't like seeing you in my bed but why couldn't you come look for me in the castle? I was just with Sirius and them up in Gryffindor tower."

She shrugged for an answer and then made to get herself out of the covers but he held her arm to keep her there.

"Please talk to me Lily. What happened?" His face was a mix of curiosity and pain as she looked back and, with a sigh, sat back down on the bed.

"I've had a row with someone and I just- it brought up some painful things for me." He had captured her hand in his again.

"Was it with one of the girls or someone else? It wasn't Diggory was it, because I swear I will hex him." Lily giggled and shook her head. She knew better than to tell him that it was Severus Snape; the two had a long history of dislike and she didn't want to see anyone in trouble.

"It was with no one important. He just…" she let the worlds die off, not being able to find a way to describe the incident. "It's fine though."

"Damn it Lily. It bloody well isn't fine." His grip was tighter on her hand at this point. "Why is it so hard for you to trust me?" the hurt was evident in his eyes again and Lily felt a bubble of shame building in her stomach once more.

She couldn't tell him; not yet. Things were moving too quickly with him emotionally and she couldn't justify telling him about her parents. It was too soon. So Lily did the only thing that she could think of: she leaned over and kissed him.

James was unable to move for a moment but soon he was moving his lips against hers at a fevered pace only take small breaths every now and then.

Lily noticed her mind go foggy and had a hard time thinking about much else except for the feel for his mouth on hers. It wasn't until her stomach made a loud, unhappy gurgle that the pair of them broke apart.

James laughed at the sudden noise, "Have you eaten yet tonight?" Lily shook her head in the negative and looked around for the time. How had it gotten to be 8 o'clock already? "Come-on then, let's go find you some food."

She let him haul her off of the bed before voicing her opinion. "Doesn't the Great Hall stop serving supper at 8? How are we supposed to get food?" What she wasn't expecting to see was the mischievous glint that entered his eyes.

"I'm about to let you in on another of the Marauders closest guarded secrets." With that, James intertwined their fingers and began pulling her towards the portrait hole. After a long walk down many flight of stairs, they ended up in front of a still life painting of a bowl of fruit located closed to the Hufflepuff common room.

"What are we doing here?" Lily was decidedly more hungry than she had been an hour ago and was feeling slightly grumpy because of it.

"Have a little faith Evans," he said using his old nickname for her, "you just have to learn to trust me." James reached up his hand and quickly started to tickle the large pear in the bowl. It gave off and high pitched giggle and then swung open to reveal a large room packed with all sorts of stoves, ovens, pots and pans. The delicious aroma of food wafted over her and Lily took a hesitant step in.

"What can I get for Mistress and Master this evening?" squeaked a small, large-eyes house elf who had come running up at her entrance. As Lily scanned the rest of the room, she noticed that there were hundreds of house elves doing various jobs and running from place to place. "Mistress?"

"Oh um… what do you have cooking?"

"Oh we can prepare any and all kinds of food for you Mistress. Just you name it and I will bring it straight back to you." Lily looked over at James who was grinning and felt herself giddy with the possibilities.

"Well… if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could I please have some steak and kidney pie?" The little house elf nodded her head quickly and dashed off to prepare it.

"Well?" James was still grinning at her and watching her reaction to his treasured place.

"Er... well at least now I know how you and your blokes have managed to knick all of the supplies for those large Gryffindor parties." He looked a bit crestfallen at her answer and she let her smile spread across her face. "I'm only joking; this place is brilliant."

"It is, isn't it?" He smiled warmly at her before plucking a sweet off of one of the many trays being offered to them by the elves. "These little guys are some of the most helpful little buggers that we've found in this place." His affection for them was evident.

Not soon after, Lily and James were making their way back up to their common room feeling sufficiently stuffed.

"Listen, Lily?" She had been expecting him to state his usual 'I'm here for you' line but was surprised as he continued, "The Marauders are planning to do… something tonight. After hours." He looked guiltily over at her.

"And you want me to cover for you I assume?" She was a little bit offended by this.

"No. I wouldn't ever ask you to do that." He looked straight in her eyes and hesitated before continuing. "I was actually wondering if you would want to come with us."

She stopped walking in shock. The idea was simply enthralling; no one had ever been able to figure out how this group of boys was able to maneuver the castle after curfew without getting caught.

"Will we- can we get in trouble?" Lily hadn't done many things to break the rules in her time at Hogwarts; hexing James had been about as bad as she got. The possibility of sneaking around the corridors made her blood rush.

"Not when you're with us. Tonight's a great one to be involved with also; only a few simple…preparations that we have to do." The gleam in his eyes was enough to push her head into a nod.

"I'd… well I-" she cut off thinking about all of the negative things that could happen but was snapped out of it by James offering her his hand again.

"Come on; live while you can eh Evans?" She took his outstretched hand and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"So what's the plan?"

"Well… I need to go collect everyone from the dorm but then we'll meet you back at the room and fill you in on the specifics."

Once they made it safely back, James disappeared up to his room and moments later he returned carrying a bit of parchment and stuffing some sort of fabric into his robes.

"Be back in a few."

Lily turned to one of the arm chairs by the fire and sat letting her mind wander over her row with Severus, her snogging James in his bed, and about the adventure that she was about to be included in. It was strange to think about how much she had allowed her life to change within these past few months.

Soon after, Lily thought that she heard the portrait hole open but when she turned to see if James had come back yet, no one was there. Deciding that it must have been her mind playing tricks, she went back to staring at the fire. A few seconds went by before she felt the curious sensation of her hair being lifted up.

"Ahh!" she jumped out of her chair and ran straight into a hard object that wasn't supposed to be there. Lily could hear muffled laughter coming from the spot that she just ran into and held her hands out trying to distinguish what it was. Her fingers caught on some fabric and she pulled it off to reveal two highly amused teenage boys doubled over in their fit.

"What the hell?" She examined the fabric in her hands and a look of awe and understanding clicked into place. "Is this- could it really be?" Looking to James for conformation, he nodded his head proudly.

"It's my invisibility cloak; my dad gave it to me in first year."

"It's been our best tool for mischief ever since." Sirius added fondly.

Lily chuckled and handed it back to the boys. "Where are Remus and Peter?"

"They decided to sit this one out. The cloak doesn't hide us all as well anymore and this… excursion doesn't take much effort to pull off. They both said to tell you good luck." James was actually giddy with his excitement.

"Well come on then Evans, we only have the rest of the year to make you a prankster; have to start as soon as possible to flush out those silly ideas of rules and morals from you." Sirius added with a wink.

Lily let herself be dragged under the cloak and was led quickly and quietly through the corridors down to the doors of the Great Hall.

"What exactly will we be doing?" She whispered to the two boys huddled around her.

"We are going to be setting up tomorrow's prank; and a bloody brilliant one it is too." Sirius' eyes gleamed in anticipation.

"What kind of prank?"

The boys launched into their explanation, taking turns to explain while the other was whispering spells and pacing in front of the doors.

"Blimey. That's serious magic! How could you possibly know how to do something like that?" Lily wasn't sure hen these boys had gotten to be so intelligent.

"Lily, Lily, Lily. When you're as naturally gifted in trouble making as us four, you will do any amount of studying or practicing to pull off what needs to be done." She found herself giggling at Sirius' words as James finally took a step back to admire their handiwork.

A faint blue light gleamed right along the crack of the door and Lily was certain the no one would be able to see it before it was too late.

"This is amazing. I can't wait to see the looks on people's faces!"

They entertained guesses of who would be the most put out by tomorrow's events on their way back to deliver Sirius to Gryffindor tower. The boys reckoned that it was Professor McGonagall but Lily had a sneaking suspicion that there would be plenty of unhappy underage wizards to contend with.

James and Lily were making their way back to the common room under the cloak when she had and interesting idea. Without giving away her intentions, Lily diverted their path into a small alcove in the way and pushed him against the stone.

He didn't even have time to start his question before Lily claimed his lips with hers and let her hands wander up to tangle in his already disheveled hair enacting a soft moan from the back of his throat.

His hands had moved to her waist and were pulling her in to close the gap that still existed between them. How had Lily ever been able to resist saying yes to him? Godric, his kiss was intoxicating.

After a sufficient while, the pair broke apart breathing heavily. James rested his forehead against hers and she couldn't keep her gaze from meeting with his.

"Blimey, Lily. You never stop surprising me." He kissed her once more before pulling her back out towards their suite.

"Thank was just a thank you… for today I mean. I'm so excited to be a part of one of the famous Marauders plans." She smiled brilliantly up at him and watched as he stumbled a bit over his feet.

Giggling, the both of them tumbled into the Head's dorm and collapsed into their separate arm chairs. They sat there until a while later until Lily could feel the heavy droops of her eyes and couldn't keep her head up. James insisted on carrying her off to bed and gave her a quick kiss before exiting to make it to his own room.

Who would have thought that Lily Evans would enjoy being a troublemaker as much as she did? Her mind was overcome by sleep not soon after and she went gladly into a dreamless night.

The next morning, Lily was woken up by four very loud boys entering her room and diving over top of her. With the breath knocked out of her, by a particularly hard blow when Peter jumped on, Lily was unable to scream at them for being little wankers. Who would want to be up at this hour?

She began to struggle furiously from within her blanket and was able to land a few hard blows before the boys all scrambled out of her reach.

"What the hell!"

"Sorry Lily, but you wouldn't want to miss a single second of our little prank would you?" Sirius asked innocently. Lily froze and then jumped from the bed. Luckily, she was wearing pyjama bottoms and a tank top, so all she really needed to throw on was a jumper and toss her hair up into a pony before she rush the boys from her room and down the stairs.

"Come on! We have to get there before everyone else!" Her nerves were in a jumble as they raced through the corridors in haste. Pushing open the giant doors, Lily was happy to see that the professors had made it through unscathed as had several other students that Lily recognized as being in her year; everything was going according to plan.

"We'd best go sit down before we start to look suspicious." Remus said in a stage whisper. They all made it through the doors without the spells affecting them and Lily was glad to see that no one underage had yet to step through.

The group of five Gryffindors sat and nibbled on their breakfast taking quick, covert glances at the entryway every few seconds waiting for that first unlucky student.

Lily was just beginning to calm herself down as she noticed a group of fifth year Ravenclaw girls chatting animatedly as they walked through the doors and couldn't help the look of anticipation that flashed upon her features. Looking around, she could see the same look displayed on the faces of all of her friends.

For a few steps nothing happened to the girls, but suddenly, the whole group was lifted from their feet and flung in a heap outside of the doors once more. As they tried to stand and figure out what had happened, Lily could see their looks of utter horror as they took in the rather large, long white beards that each of them now sported.

The Hall roared with laughter as the girls began to laugh at one another from their positions on the floor. A group of third year Hufflepuffs past by them and entered through the doors only to be flung back out and sporting the same beards.

Lily could see group after group gather outside of the door trying to figure out why they weren't allowed in for breakfast. Every now and then some person would try to cross the line only to end up with a large beard of their own.

Soon, it was apparent to the teachers that something would have to be done about the quell of students waiting in the foyer for their meal and so Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall made their way over.

Lily watched as Dumbledore first examined the bearded few and sent them to Madam Pomfrey to be looked at, and then he bent over to peer at the floor; she was sure that he would know exactly what was happening once he saw the blue line of magic.

With a wave of his wand, Dumbledore instructed a few students to step over the line and was pleased when they were able to without being expelled once more.

"Well that was fun!" She giggled to the other boys.

"We're not done yet." Peter whispered into her ear.

She watched as the people from the hallway continued to enter the room and with a wave from his wand and a spell muttered under his breath, James burst out laughing as every person that had crossed the age line sprouted their own rather long beard.

There were shout and laughter from all around the hall as students and Professors alike began to examine their new looks.

Lily glanced down at her own beard and laughed at the absurdity of how it must look. These boys were something special if they could affect so many people at once with an age line spell.

It was halfway through the day when Madam Pomfrey finally caught up with the 7th year Gryffindors in Transfiguration to give them a special potion to rid themselves of the beards. Professor McGonagall looked to most relieved to be rid of hers and would not stop shooting the Marauders suspicious looks over her spectacles. Nothing could be proven, of course, but everyone seemed to know that these boys were the culprits. Lily was glad to have been included in the joke and couldn't wait until the next time.

That night, Lily and James sat up talking and laughing about what a success the prank had been.

"Did you see Franks beard? It was all the way down to the floor; and when he and Alice kissed, the way Sirius had braided their beards together was brilliant!" James was crying from his memory of the event and Lily had to work really hard not to join him.

It was decided, not long after, that they would turn in for bed. They had each had a long day and Lily was once again pressed to keep her eyes from drifting shut.

She climbed his stairs and slunk into bed, barely having the energy to change into her night clothes, and shut her eyes for some much deserved sleep.

As her dream began, Lily recognized the room where she had grown up in. She could see her bed against the far wall, and recognized the soft light drifting in through the curtains. With dread, Lily was forced to follow the events of a dream that was all too familiar to her.

She walked around the room for a bit, getting her clothes on and arranging a few items on the nightstand and then slowly pushed the door open before crossing the few feet to the steps. Lily could feel the growing anxiety with each step that led her to the kitchen door where she turned and was faced with the open, unseeing eyes of her father.

The world spun away in circles from her face and Lily was thrown into the despair of utter helplessness just standing there wishing that her father would get up, or move something instead of just lying there.

She awoke with a start, her tears falling freely over her cheeks and her body shaking with each sob. This was too much; too much pain for one person to feel.

Lily stumbled out of bed and ran, tripping every now and then, down her stairs. She hadn't thought about where she was going but as she made it to the common room, she was conscious of dashing up the stairs to James' door.

Without knocking, she threw open the door and stood for a moment hoping that he would hear her.

"Wha-? Lily? What the matter?" James clamored from his bed and went to embrace her. She stood there hugging him tightly to herself and crying into his bare chest.

"I-It's too m-much. I can't d-do it." He didn't say anything; just pulled her with him to the bed and sat her on his lap. "It hurts s-so much so-sometimes that I j-just want t-to…" she let her sentence run off but was sure that James knew where she was going with it.

For all of the curiosity that he must been feeling, Lily was thankful that he refrained from asking questions and just let her sit there and cry. When her tears had run out, and her mind was exhausted, James stood up and carried her to the door.

"Wait, James?" He stopped walking and looked down at her. "Can I… can I stay in here tonight? I don't want to be alone." Lily averted her gaze and could feel her face heat up with colour.

"If that's what you want." He carried her back to the bed and moved the covers aside before setting her down. Lily crawled underneath them and was surprised when James went to make a bed on the floor.

"James?" He looked up at her once more. "I was wondering- hoping really- that we could share? I'd hate to kick you out of your own bed." His face lit up in a small smile as he nodded his ascent and made his way back to the bed.

Once they were both under the covers, Lily could feel the indecision radiating off of both of them. How would this work?

She took control by grabbing his hand and pulling in over top of her to rest entwined with her own down by her stomach while at the same time scooting her back up against him.

It took a few moments before they were able to relax comfortably against one another but Lily was glad when he finally squeezed her tightly against him before kissing her cheek.

"Goodnight Lily." She could feel a sense of calm over taking her senses at the feeling of his arms wrapped securely around her.

"Goodnight James."


	14. Ball

**I am so so sorry for the long update time. This chapter proved to be difficult to write and life has become very busy. Hopefully I'll get another one up this weekend! I hope you enjoy, Aubrey**

**Ball**

A few weeks had past since that first night that Lily burst into James' room unannounced. The morning after had been full of sidelong glances exchanged at the breakfast table and during classes that would make both teenagers go pink in the face. Whenever one of their respective friends would bring this up to them, Lily and James would blush even deeper and deny every accusation.

Lily had been glad to know that James had not told his friends, especially Sirius, because she was certain that the boys would never miss an opportunity to take the mickey out of her ever again.

Looking back, even now, Lily could still feel her face heat up by the intensity of James' eyes when they woke up still entangled in each others arms. They had been so full of warmth that Lily had been rendered breathless especially when he ducked his head and kissed her good morning.

Although that was the first time that she spent the night, it wouldn't be the last. She didn't make a habit out of sneaking up to James' room, but over the past three weeks, she had found her way there at least twice weekly.

Lying next to him had a way of keeping her dreams at bay. She was no longer plagued with nightmares of her father, the black haired baby, or the frightening man. With his arms holding her tightly against him, Lily could rest well knowing that she was safe.

Each day it seemed that Lily was able to learn something new about James. She would catch him helping Peter practice his spell work for assignments or helping a first year navigate their way through the castle when they were running late. She would see the way that he helped those on his team to perfect their skills and noticed that he always tried hard not to let his temper run away from him.

Often, Lily found herself wondering how she could have over looked such amazing personality traits up until this year.

Their days were spent in the mixed company of Lily's friends and the Marauders and, as the 7th years were constantly bombarded with excessive amounts of school work, the Head's common room was crowded in the evenings by their friends doing their revision.

Between making time for friends, revision, Quidditch practices, and Head duty, Lily and James had found it particularly hard to make time for their first official date. James was always the first to bring it up and he reckons that they should make it soon; he has only been waiting for her to agree for about five years or so.

He is also always eager to point out that Lily has gone against all of her previous statements about loathing James for eternity. Each time that he mentions this, Lily will try to summon up her old fiery glare and state that the giant squid might still be available for her.

It was just after one of these comments that Lily found herself sitting in the Great Hall with her newly extended group of friends and chatting about the newest bulletin that had been posted about a week prior.

"What do you think Remus? Do you reckon that you will ask anyone?" Cecilia asked him coyly as she spread jam over the top of her toast. Remus, who had been scanning the daily prophet, chocked on the sip of water that he had just taken.

"Wh-what? You mean ask someone to the ball?" Lily could tell that Remus was doing a mental check to see if the Winter Ball would fall within the few nights that he took off for the new moon this year. "I suppose I could go… I hadn't really given it much thought though."

Lily could tell that Cecilia was a bit let down by this answer but there was still time; the ball wouldn't be for another week or so. She let her glance slide to the boy next to her and wondered if he would be asking her anytime soon or if she would need to.

"Oh I simply cannot wait to go! Frank asked me the other night and if it turns out to be anything like Halloween, the night will be completely magical." James found her hand at the mention of that night and Lily wasn't sure if he was remembering the Amos incident or about how it had initially brought them together. She chose to focus on the later and leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

She let her mind wander onto the next couple of weeks and what they would bring. The 7th years were entering into the middle of the term and that meant that mid year assessments would be upon them within days. At the end of this testing period, it was announced that the Winter Ball would be held the Saturday before everyone left to go home for holiday.

Lily had been apprehensive about this Holiday ever since James had asked her what she would be doing. She had managed to mumble some excuse about her staying at Hogwarts for her studies and was infinitely grateful when Sirius had interrupted James' reply.

With all of their time spent together, Lily had still been unable to share some of her more personal secrets. It wasn't that she didn't want to; James was the first boy in a long time that she could trust.

Lily was just enjoying being with someone who didn't know her problems. Her days spent with James were like a snippet from someone else's life; someone who was just happy to be with a boy and who didn't need to worry about the real world issues of being an orphan.

Looking around the room, Lily once again noticed the spectacular Christmas decorations, complete with 12 humongous evergreens, which were scattered throughout the Hall.

Christmas had always been one of her favorite times of year when she was younger. People were in pleasant moods, the food was plentiful and especially prepared, and Petunia always seemed less angry around the Holidays.

The past few years, however, Lily found Christmas hard to handle. Her mother had been very sick and passed away only a few days beforehand. Christmas had been celebrated in silence since then and she no longer felt the same joy that everyone else did this time of year.

She wondered if Petunia would even send a card this year or if, perhaps, her only sister would continue to scorn her. The thought made her stomach squirm and she resolved to send some muggle sweets with her card; her sister may be angry, but they still loved each other right?

Lily was snapped out of her thoughts by a gentle prod in her side. Looking around, she noticed that the table was nearly empty and that James was her only company.

"Where did everyone go?"

"Oh, well they all decided to scamper and attend to whatever they had planned for the day." James smiled his crooked smile and Lily could feel her heart leap.

"But no one even said goodbye!" She said in mock-outrage.

"Lils, _everyone_ tried to say goodbye but you were in your dream land again; Sirius even did an Irish gig but you still wouldn't pay attention." He was laughing quietly at the memory and Lily could feel the colour rising on her cheeks.

"Well I'm sorry if I have important things to think about." She was starting to snap at him and wished that she didn't have this temper.

"Woah, calm down Evans, I think it's adorable. You get this little pout in your lips and your eyes keep looking around the room but never really focus on anything. I wish I knew what was going on inside there though." He gave her head a rap with his knuckles and she giggled.

"Well if you're a really good boy, I will tell you a secret tonight." She could see the smile spread on his face and he ran a hand through his hair to muss it up.

"How would you like to go on an adventure with me?" The question caught her off guard but she agreed and soon they had left the Great Hall, gone to retrieve their winter clothes, and made their way out onto the snow covered grounds.

"What a beautiful day!" Lily exclaimed with delight as the sun warmed her exposed cheeks and the snow crunched below their anxious feet. "Where are we off to?"

"No where too far away," he said with a mysterious wink before taking her hand in his and leading the way over to the lake.

At first, Lily was reminded of the day in which she had first spent time with the four marauders; the lake once again gave off the impression of being covered with thousands of diamonds that glittered in the sun. Upon closer examination, though, she found that the lake actually did have a glittering barrier covering it; a thick layer of ice stretched around the whole surface of the lake.

"I wonder if the giant squid hibernates or not." She said the question before she had even thought out whether it could be true or not. Lily chanced a glance at James who wasn't even trying to hide his grin.

"Lily Evans doesn't know an answer to something? We must inform everyone!" he said laughing and trying to pull her towards the castle. Lily couldn't help but laugh along as she pulled with all of her might, both hands clasped around his captured one, trying to keep him from moving.

"James Potter, you stay right here with me!" she managed to get out around her giggles over the delighted look on his face.

He had a way of catching her off guard. James quickly stepped closer to her, pulling her body into his, and caught her chin so that she was looking straight at him. "Always." He whispered before ducking his head to place a soft kiss on her lips.

She couldn't breathe for fear of ruining the moment. This boy, who had once been her most despised counterpart, was now the one person who could chase away her nightmares and continually catch her by surprise with his kind gestures.

His eyes were still locked on hers, watching her, waiting for her to react and she couldn't think of anything to say. Lily wasn't aware of making the decision, but the next thing she could remember, her lips were moving against James' and her heart was fluttering wildly.

This went on for several moments before James pulled away looking sheepish. Lily couldn't make sense of this until her brain registered the wolf whistles and hooting from other students out on the grounds.

"Well… what did you have in mind for today?" she was still trying to sort through what just happened and could tell that his mind was still a little cluttered as well.

"What? Oh… umm. Oh, yes. Do you trust me?" Lily paused as images of things she has yet to tell him floated through her already cramped mind.

He extended his hand to her again and she grabbed it instantly, "With my life." It was surprising to Lily how much she meant it.

James was like a siren's song to her. His clam demeanor flowed from him in waves and she was powerless to resist anything that he asked of her. Step after step, she followed his lead until her brain was able to catch up and recognize what certain danger she had been led into.

"James! Are you mental?" Lily froze instantly and looked under her feet at the frozen lake. She could see the outlines of creatures swimming below and was suddenly terrified of being swallowed into the freezing water.

Why had he brought her to the middle of the lake? Didn't he know the dangers of hypothermia that awaited them if the ice were to break apart? She brought her eyes back to his again and saw that he was shocked by her response.

"Calm down Evans, this ice is so thick it would probably hold Hagrid's weight." Lily gave a gasp of shock when, for emphasis, James started to jump up and down repeatedly.

"Alright! Alright, I get it. Why are we in the middle of the lake again?" She was still scared but his jumping really did make her feel better. James grabbed her hand once more and pulled her farther across the lake.

Lily made sure to keep her head up so as to pretend that they were still on solid ground. She focused on the warmth of James' hand in hers and the way in which he walked a little more heavily on his right leg than his left; had he ever broken it? There were so many things that they had never talked about; that she had never thought to ask about.

"Okay, Lily, close your eyes." She did so without a second thought and he took both her hands to lead her, making sure nothing caught her foot or catching her if she managed to stumble.

"Have you been planning something James Potter?" Lily couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Just be patient Evans." He was shaking a little bit, either from the chilly air or his suppressed laughter; Lily couldn't tell which.

They traveled a few more minutes in silence before he stopped again.

"Okay, now on the count of three, open your eyes." Anticipation was flowing through her veins. "One… two… three!"

Her eyes drifted open and, at first, all she could register was the immense beauty of the scene. They were in the same field that they had come to with the marauders except that it looked completely transformed.

Trees rimmed the outer circle and still blocked the rest of the castle from view but the other wildlife seemed to have stayed the same all through winter. The ground didn't have the same cover of snow as the rest of the grounds had and the grass still grew tall and waved with each fresh wind. Even the wild flowers still sprung up around them in large patches.

The thing that made it amazing though, was that nothing had its usual colours. The trees, grass, and flowers, even the ground, was magically coated with a thin film of silvery crystal that made the whole scene sparkle in the sunlight. When the wind would blow the grass and flowers around, a sound of tinkling would fill the air and leave Lily breathless in its beauty.

She turned to James and threw her arms around him, "it's remarkable, absolutely remarkable."

"I'm glad you like it," he replied kissing the top of her head. "Come on, I have something set up over here." James dragged her over to a small blanket that Lily hadn't noticed earlier, and she saw a small picnic laid out for the two of them.

"What have we got here?" she asked, indicating to array of snack foods.

"Well," James looked a little bit uncertain as he continued, "I may have ordered some muggle sweets that are supposed to be good. I thought that you might miss them."

Lily was touched by his thoughtfulness once more and kissed him quickly hoping that he understood what she couldn't put into words.

One kiss led to another and soon, the sweets were left forgotten as each teen had their minds wrapped up in the other. It was too soon, in Lily's opinion, when James finally pulled away slightly. Resting his head on her shoulder and nuzzling into her neck he began to speak.

"Lily, I can not tell you how much these past few weeks have meant to me. You are all I've ever wanted, and… ah. Lily would you like to be my girlfriend?" His nose had been drawing a pattern on her skin while he talked and her mind had wandered a bit because of it but his question caught her off guard.

She pulled back slightly to look him in the eye. "I kind of thought I already was?" she said uncertainly. This made him laugh and kiss her again.

"Of course you are, you silly girl. I just wanted to make it official before I could gather up my courage to ask my girlfriend if she would like to attend the Ball with me?"

Lily smiled widely as she accepted his offer. Shifting her weight, she tumbled a bit and fell into a sitting position on James' lap before they continued where they had left off with their snogging.

Her hands found their way up into his messy hair, and his sat low on her waist slightly inching up her winter coat and brushing his cold skin against her previously sheltered waist.

"James, that is so cold." Lily giggled around kisses as she squirmed. "How would you like it if the tables were turned?" He began to kiss his way down her jaw bone and onto her neck and Lily could feel a different kind of squirminess entering her body.

"Mmm," he murmured against her skin, making her breath hitch in her throat, "I honestly don't think I would mind that much." His hand went up a little more under the thick fabric and weaved its way onto her back, pulling her closer to him.

Did she like what was happening? How was she supposed to know if they were moving too fast or not? His lips really did know where to go on her neck… Godric his eyes were amazing. They were snogging again and before she knew it, her hands were at the hem of his shirt. They had just begun to tentatively run over his stomach when he jerked away from her.

"Blimey, Evans, you weren't joking when you said that my hands were cold!" Lily had been hurt when he pulled away but couldn't help laughing at the serious expression on his face.

He joined in with her laughter and pulled her into a tight embrace. "What do you say we head back up to the castle then? We wouldn't want either of us to catch a cold before next week, would we?"

Lily nodded. Ball. She would be James Potter's date to ball. They were officially boyfriend and girlfriend; butterflies were attacking her insides and her pulse raced at the memory of that small bit of flesh she had been able to explore before he had pulled away.

As they made their way back up to the castle, Lily decided that she did indeed like what was happening between them.

Hours later, after dinner, after spending time with their friends, and after Lily and James had gone to their separate rooms for the night, she laid awake thinking about him and wishing that she could find the courage to sneak up into his arms once again.

It had been so long since she had felt so alive. Ever since her mother's death, Lily had been perfect; she had kept good grades, never done anything to break the rules, and had stayed away from boys. To the world, she was an amazing witch but within her own mind, Lily was empty.

Nothing made her feel happy, the only time she had felt something was when dealing with James. He was the only person who could get past to her emotions and she hated him for it.

Now that they were together, however, Lily couldn't get enough of him. Somehow, he had brought her back into the living world and every sensation with him was enough to keep her living, even if it meant having to deal with the pain of her parent's deaths.

What did it mean? Was this how life was supposed to be; dealing with painful memories while trying to be present in the most wonderful?

Why had she felt so different as she grazed his stomach this afternoon? Were the two of them moving too quickly? They had only been seeing each other for few weeks after all… Would she really tell him about her parents?

There was a quick knock on the door and Lily jumped before realizing that it was only James.

She became aware, as he slid under the covers with her, that this was the first time they had slept in her bed.

"I just remembered that you own me a secret for such a good date today." He whispered in her ear as his arms snaked their way around her to pull their bodies closer together.

A shiver passed down her spine as his breath tickled her neck. "I had hoped that you would have forgotten about that," she teased.

"Never; I couldn't let an opportunity, to learn more about the mysterious Lily Evans, slip between my fingers, now could I?"

Lily let out a breath of nervousness. "Okay, so what part of my life do you want to know about?"

James let out a laugh, "I get to pick the question? Well this is my lucky day now isn't it?" He shifted his weight so that his head was propped up on his elbow and Lily could turn to look him in the eye.

He held her gaze for a long while before making up his mind. "What is the real reason that you won't be going home for the holidays?"

Lily kept his gaze trying to keep her heart rate down and trying to figure out how to answer his question. Was this the moment? Should she tell him now? Finally she took a breath and dropped her gaze to pick at a seam in her sheets.

"I don't have a home to go back to." There, that was the truth. Would it keep his questions at bay?

"You… don't have a home? Do your parents need financial help? Could I do anything for them?" Lily instantly felt awkward about his worry.

"No, no. It's nothing like that." She held her hand to his lips to stop him from talking. "I just… I'm staying with my aunt and uncle at the moment but their house… they're muggles so it doesn't really feel like home. I have to hide who I am there and- and that's the reason I'm staying here."

She couldn't say it. Some Gryffindor she made; couldn't even tell her boyfriend about her dead parents.

"What about your friends? Wouldn't they like to have you over?" Lily could tell that he was at a loss; this wasn't the answer that he was expecting.

"I'm sure they all would… but I couldn't do that. I couldn't impose on them. Alice already had me over for most of summer and Cecelia and Audrey's parents are both considerably less well off. No, I'll stay here."

James was about to talk again but Lily didn't think she could handle getting any deeper so she leaned up and kissed him. She kissed him with as much enthusiasm that she could produce.

It only took a few seconds for him to respond; his hands went into her mussed up hair and he rolled so that she was lying across his chest.

Lily's hands moved from the bed up to the spot where his shirt met his trousers. Hesitating for only a moment to gather her courage, she slid her hands underneath the fabric and let them move up and down his flesh, memorizing each detail.

His gasp of breath made her believe that she was doing something right and so she continued working the shirt up farther before finally breaking their kiss to lift it over his head.

Before the fabric could even hit the floor, with a soft 'thud', Lily had begun to kiss her way down the side of his neck and onto his bare chest. She paused for a moment when she realized that the soft rhythm on her lips was actually the bray of his heart.

Never before had she felt this powerful; to be able to cause this reaction from him was better than any good grade or unbroken rule, this is the only thing in 5 years that has made her feel like she was doing something right.

Lily awoke alone in her room. The sun was slipping in through the slit between curtains in her window and all was silent around her. For a few moments, her mind tried to decipher what dreams she had had the night before but then she was too present in reality to grasp them.

What day was today? She remembered taking her mid-year examinations this past week; it must be Saturday. Wasn't there something important going on soon?

Lily sat upright: today was the day of the Ball. The past week had gone by quickly with the exams and with James and her continually stealing time to snog in public places.

After they had spent the night together last weekend, Lily had decided that in order to focus on their studies, the two of them would need to spend their nights apart in order to ensure adequate sleep.

This had proved excruciating but effective; how would she ever be able to spend the holiday without him?

Shaking the thought from her mind, Lily stood and stretched before making her way down to shower and get ready for the day. The girls would be coming to take over the head's dorm around 4 so that gave her plenty of time to rejoice that break was finally here.

Lily met up with the marauders at breakfast and was talked into a snowball fight on the grounds, in which James took most of the hits trying to protect her. Even with his best effort, the five of them were completely drenched by the time Alice came to collect her.

They made it up to the head's common room and Lily wasn't surprised to see her other two friend already there and setting up everything that they would need.

"Okay, first things first: Lily… your dress." Alice had agreed to let her borrow a dress for the night, given Lily's lack of funds, and she had no idea what one it would be.

As Alice let the plastic drop, the three other girls let out a gasp of shock and loathing.

"Oh Ali, I can't wear that!"

"Of course you can, and you will. James already has the colour to match to so you have to." There was a twinkle in her eye that only came from these special dress-up days. "Now let's all get ourselves made up?"

It took a long while before everyone was perfect. Hair, makeup, nails, dresses, jewelry; it all flew by in a flash and before she had even noticed, the time for the dance had come. Lily took one last look over her friends to make sure they were ready.

Alice had decided to go with a pale pink dress that shimmered with every move that she made. It had a halter tie back and showed off her small frame. Her hair was done up in an elegant bun at the nape of her neck and she sported shimmering gold eye shadow. On her wrist sat the only piece of jewelry; a small charm bracelet that Frank had given her this past anniversary.

Audrey sported a short red dress that accentuated her hips and legs. Her hair hung straight and her makeup was soft and subtle, she had been asked by a Ravenclaw 6th year… was his name Mike?

Cecilia was beyond excited because Remus seemed to have caught onto her hints and had asked her the previous day. In honor of the occasion, she wore a dark purple dress that fluttered gracefully from her waist to the floor. Although her makeup and hair looked fantastic, her smile was what made little Cici stand out tonight.

The four of them made their way out of the dorm and set a path for the great hall, where they had agreed with the boys to meet. Each step closer made Lily's anticipation grow. This dress was bound to gather attention and she just needed to be in James' arms quickly before any trouble could find her.

Turning the last corner, Lily's eyes met his within a few seconds; he could do nothing but stare at her as she made her way down the last set of stairs. She knew what he was looking at of course.

The dress that Alice had put her in was a floor length midnight blue. It had a cropped shoulder style that dipped low into her cleavage and even farther down on her back. There was a flare around her ankles that made her walked slowly and with precision. Her long red hair had been left down and done up in soft curls that bounced with each step.

Lily knew that she had caught James off guard and it made her proud to see the look of longing in his eyes. He was in his best dress robes with an undershirt the same midnight blue as her dress. His hair was still miserably untamable but she loved that part of him.

"Blimey Lily, you look stunning. I can't think of anything else to say," he murmured as he played with one of her curls. The tough made a shiver pass through her.

"You don't look to shabby yourself Potter," she added with a wink. He grinned at her and mussed up his hair even more before offering her his arm.

"Shall we go in then?" As they walked, Lily could feel multiple sets of eyes following her. Maybe this dress had been too much.

A soft, slow tune started up and James spun her in a circle before drawing her close to him.

"I am the luckiest bloke in the whole world at this moment, did you know that?" Lily could feel her blush rising.

"Only if you realize that I'm the luckiest girl to be here with you."

Around and around they went, Lily moved to rest her head on his shoulder as they swayed and began to hum along with the tune. It wasn't long before James joined in and their soft humming mixed together in a sweet mixture with the song.

Had she ever been this content? Lily let her eyelids drop and her whole world consisted of her and James and their two voices weaving a melody around them.

The song ended and a faster, more upbeat one took its place but still the two teens swayed to their own music, wrapped up in their sweet world away from pain, and war; away from the responsibilities of life and away from every watchful set of eyes.

On and on the night stretched. Sometimes, they would catch up with their friends, but mostly, James and Lily could be seen in the middle of the dance floor content to just be with each other.

Eventually the last song was played, and students were making their ways back up to bed. Hand in hand, Lily and James strolled through the corridors before finally emerging out onto the astronomy tower, without knowing how that had got there.

"Could I ask you one more question Evans?" She loved the way he would still use her nickname. He was twirling her hair once more between his fingers. "Would you come and stay with me over the holiday?"

Whatever question she was expecting, it hadn't been that one. "I couldn't do that… your parents, what would they say?"

"I already asked them- this past week- they would love for you to come. Please say you will—I couldn't stand it if I knew you were here all alone for the Holiday." His eyes begged her ascent.

What did she have to lose? "Of course I'll come." And he kissed her.


	15. The Parents

**Christmas Holiday**

"Are you almost done packing Lily?" James' voice broke through Lily's internal debate about whether or not she should bring the photo of her family. She added it to her already stuffed trunk and stood up.

"Just finished!"

Lily took one last look around her room before charming her trunk down the stairs behind her. Today was the day that she would be leaving with James to go and stay with his parents for the holiday.

A part of her still could not believe that she had agreed to go with him; they had been dating for only a little while and now she would spend Christmas with his family. Lily was terrified; how would she be able to keep her family secrets and impress her boyfriend's parents at the same time?

She made her way to the common room and saw James sitting in his usual armchair by the fire.

Lily let her trunk land on the floor and walked over to him. Sitting in his lap, she let her arms drape around his neck and nuzzled her head into his cheek. His arms automatically came up to wrap her in his embrace.

"What's wrong Lils?" She just couldn't get used to how well he knew her.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do? I mean, what if your mum and dad don't like me?"

"They've already met you, silly girl! They were thrilled when I asked if you could come and stay." He kissed the top of her head and she felt a little bit better.

"I'm just- they're your parents! I don't want to make a fool of myself." She was whispering but knew that he could hear her.

"Oh Lily, just be yourself and they will love you." James leaned back and tilted her chin up to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Lily let herself relax into him and tried to put her worries out of her mind. Underneath all of her insecurities about this holiday, she was exceedingly glad not to have to say goodbye to the boy in front of her.

"Well Lils, it's about time we head out don't you think? Everyone will start to worry if we take too much more time." Hooking one arm underneath her knees and the other behind her back, James stood up and started carrying Lily towards the door.

She gave a shout of surprise but was soon laughing as he began waltzing with her in his arms and humming a happy tune. This one boy has made all of the difference in her life, and Lily would never be able to thank him enough for forcing her to live.

James would have been happy to carry her all the way down to the train, but Lily insisted on being put down once they made it into the corridors. Hand in hand, the two of them made their way down the marble staircases letting their trunks clank together frequently behind them.

Once on the Hogwarts Express, they were joined by all of their friends. Since there were now so many of them, the group took up two compartments across the corridor from each other and decided to leave the doors open and just shout across the distance.

It was the most bizarre and entertaining ride that Lily had ever been a part of. Sirius insisted on singing some Christmas music by a famous witch, and Peter wouldn't stop letting out shouts of praise to everyone around.

When the trolley of sweets came around, the boys bought a humongous stack and, sharing with the girls, they plowed through it all quite quickly.

There was no tension between anyone and the conversation was light and happy; Ali, Ceci, and Dri were thrilled that Lily had finally taken someone up on their offer and that she wouldn't be spending the Holiday alone.

The time passed quickly and before she knew it, the train was slowing down and coming to rest in Kings Cross Station.

"Well that was quick," Remus remarked helpfully. Once again Lily wondered what he would be doing for his Holiday. He never spoke of home and she wondered how his parents dealt with him being a werewolf.

All nine of the teens gathered up their miscellaneous belongings and joined the queue of students making it out onto the platform.

Just outside of the door, Lily was dragged into a tight hug by Alice. "If you need anything this break, you be sure to let me know okay?"

"I promise," she responded, kissing her best friend on the cheek, "I'll write to you soon." Audrey and Cecelia were next and a very similar exchange happened with both of them; if Lily didn't know them better, she'd have sworn that they planned it.

She could just make out what Alice was saying to James as a parting comment, "If anything happens to her, I will hold you personally responsible."

Although she should have been upset by this, Lily felt good knowing that her best friend would always be there to have her back.

"You won't have to worry about her; she means more to me than anything." Her breath caught in her throat with his reply and she had to turn away quickly before anyone noticed.

One last wave and farewell calling and Lily set off with the four marauders in search of their families.

Peter was the first to depart with his parents who were both on the larger side and whose father shared his unfortunate rat like features.

Next Remus gave her a hug and disappeared over to a very stern looking man and woman who did not embrace him but walked rigidly from the platform. With one last woeful wave, Remus turned to follow them.

It turned out that Sirius would be coming with them for the Holiday and Lily was glad not to be the only lost soul over for Christmas. The three of them continued to force their way through the mass of people until finally, the Potters were spotted standing off to the side in the back.

"Hello again dear," Mrs. Potter said stepping up and embracing her, "we're both so glad that you could come for a stay. It will be so nice having another girl around the house." Lily made sure that she was smiling back at her boyfriend's mother.

"Thank you so much for having me; it would have been monstrously boring staying at school without any of my friends." She received a quick hug from Mr. Potter and then watched as James and Sirius were greeted.

"Now tell me dear, did these boys happen to warn you what a handful they can be under the same roof?" She smiled kindly at her two boys and then winked up at her husband.

"I wouldn't worry too much about them Miss Evans. They usually only prank each other; you'll just want to try and stay out of their line of fire." James' father had the same spark of mischief in his eyes as the two younger boys.

"Do you ever participate in their antics Mr. Potter?" She asked with a little bit of cheek and a wink at Mrs. Potter. Thankfully they found it humorous and the group laughed their way back out onto the muggle platform.

"Back in the day I was quite the handful, I must say, but somehow this woman here was able to tame me." He gave his wife's hand a squeeze and smiled warmly down at her.

"Ack, this talk is revolting," Sirius interrupted, "Oh don't kiss her too!" The two boys averted their gazes as James' parents stood in the middle of the platform to share a sweet kiss.

Lily found the couple to be amazing but couldn't help the pain that came with realizing just how long it had been since she'd seen her own parents share such a loving exchange.

After a little more banter, the group of five made it to an appropriate place to disapparate from. Since Lily didn't know where the Potter's lived, she would be traveling with James.

One by one, she watched as her group vanished before her eyes.

"You're doing wonderful, you know?" James held her close to him in the alley way and nuzzled her neck. How long did they have before their presence would be noticed?

"Your mum and dad are easy to talk to. I like them a lot." She managed to get out between giggles as his breath tickled her ear.

"I'm so glad you came." James whispered before claiming her lips with his. Lily didn't fight it; how much longer would it be until they could do this again?

A small voice broke their embrace and Lily looked around for a sign of Sirius. She could have sworn that he had already gone; had he come back to find them?

James was cursing as he pulled a small rectangular piece of mirror from his pocket. "What?" he growled.

"No need to be touchy." Sirius' voice was coming from the small mirror and Lily was able to see a small out line of him reflected back. "You were just taking a long time and mum was getting worried that something had happened. I suggest that you stop snogging your girlfriend and come reassure her."

With that, James' image replaced Sirius' in the mirror.

"So," Lily started teasingly, "is that how the famous duo is able to talk in different detentions? I've always been exceedingly curious." James just laughed and kissed her once more.

"Are you ready to be off my Lily? Mum will have a fit if we don't make it soon." Lily nodded and he counted down from three. She made sure to grip his hand and her trunk tightly.

The sensation was the same as always: like being pulled through a small straw. Just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, Lily's feet hit the ground. After regaining her balance, she took in her surroundings.

The two of them had landed in front of the most luxurious looking manor that she had ever been to. It was large and made of Renaissance style architecture and lit throughout with flickering candle light.

The walkway up to the front door was rimmed with meticulously trimmed hedges and there was even a fountain in the middle of the large lawn.

Lily squeezed James' hand in her nervousness. "I never knew you lived in a mansion."

"There are some things that I like keep secret also." She had always thought of him as an open book; what else did her have to hide? When would she feel secure enough to tell him her own secrets?

They had made it to the door. "Well, are you ready Lils? This is where I live." As he pushed in the door, Lily could feel her jaw drop.

Extravagant didn't feel like enough of a word to describe the chandeliers hanging from above, the expensive curtains and rugs, or the quality of paintings and statues littered throughout the foyer.

Mrs. Potter bustled out of a door to the left. "There you two are! I was becoming worried." She shot a small glare at James deciding that he had been the source of her distress.

"You have a lovely home Mrs. Potter." Lily stated before a row could begin.

"Please Lily, call me Martha." With a flick of her wand, their luggage flew off down a corridor to the right and she smiled at the pair. "Please, if you'll follow me, we're all just sitting down to tea."

Lily caught James' eye and he shrugged, motioning her forward.

Martha led them through the open door to the left, down a small corridor, and through a set of double doors that opened into a spacious sitting room. There was a large fireplace against the far wall and several sitting couches spaced around a large mahogany tea table.

Sirius and Mr. Potter were already in a heated conversation over, what appeared to be, the recent troubling times.

"This Voldemort fellow will not act in the open. He does not want to run the risk of being captured or defeated at this stage of his plans. His followers are gaining in numbers and the fear that they spread will be enough for the war to really flame up."

Mr. Potter spoke with such passion against such evilness that Lily could feel her liking of him escalate.

"How do we fight against such a foe?" Everyone turned to stare at her unexpected voice in the matter. "Well someone must take a stand against him!"

Mister Potter seemed to be trying to make out her character. Finally he turned to James. "Son, I do believe you have found a very special young lady here." Lily could feel her cheeks heat up with the compliment.

"She does have a way of surprising me." He said pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her from behind. She felt him rest his chin on the top of her head.

"Well! Enough of this conversation for the moment I think; these children are much too young to have to worry about such things, right dear?" Martha said addressing her husband.

Lily was going to object before she caught sight of Sirius who was shaking his head 'no'. Perhaps some conversations were best held out of earshot of James' mother; she made a mental note to try and get his father alone at some point to finish the talk.

James directed her to the seat next to his mother and then took the one beside Sirius who nudged him in the ribs and made a suggestive face. Laughing, Lily turned her attention back onto her hosts.

"Tell me Lily, what in the world could keep you at Hogwarts during this time of year? Surely your parents will miss you?" She was sure that Martha had meant no harm but it still hurt to have such painful topics brought up so suddenly.

Chancing a glance at James, she saw that he was looking horrified; perhaps he remembered that her family was the one thing that she wouldn't talk about.

"Well I was staying for mostly academic reasons." Lying was one of her better skills by this point. "The N.E.W.T. year is the most important for our futures and I'm afraid that I am not nearly ready enough for the tests."

"But dear, you have so much time for revision once the holidays are over; I hope that you won't be buried in your books too much while here!" Lily smiled and agreed to try and have some fun while in their home.

"Perhaps your mother and father would care to join us for supper one of these nights? I am sure they must be eager to see you after such a long time apart." Mr. Potter spoke gently but she wished that she might be able to escape these awful questions; her eyes were beginning to prickle with unshed tears.

"I am sure they would love to come and meet you all very much, but unfortunately, they will be much too busy. They send their thanks to you for providing such a wonderful place for me to pass my holiday and wish for me to pass along their seasons greetings."

The tears were threatening to spill so Lily hastily asked for directions to the loo. James volunteered to lead her but she promised that she could find it on her own if she just knew where to look.

After leaving the room, Lily ran down the hallway to her left and up a small set of stairs. She couldn't remember the rest of the directions so she sat on the top step and tried to hide the sound of her tears.

Would her parents have liked the Potters? She was almost certain that the four of them would have gotten on well together. Her mother would have fretted on what type of food to bring to a wizarding dinner and her father would have tried to brush up on politics to try and sound smart.

Lily laughed between her sobs; this was unfair. He parents would never get the chance to meet James or his family. They would never see their daughters fall in love or get married.

A small sound made her head jerk up and she let out a startled squeak as Sirius appeared at the foot of the small staircase. Hastily wiping the tears from her cheeks, Lily tried to summon a smile.

"Lily… are you alright? James is twitching with worry." He moved to sit next to her on the stair. "Don't worry, his parents didn't really notice anything strange but- do you need to talk?"

She could feel her resolve cracking; once more she fell into tears. She wouldn't tell Sirius about her troubles. James would be the first one.

Sirius awkwardly patted her back and pulled her to his chest. He didn't say anything and Lily was thankful for that; all she needed was for someone to just remind her that she wasn't alone.

Eventually her tears ceased and she pulled back trying to decide how to fix herself up. Sirius held up a hand and waved his wand.

"There, now you look as if nothing happened. How about we go back down there and say that you got lost hmm? I'll tell them all that I found you wandering through the west wing and that should account for enough time. Sound good to you Ms. Head Girl?"

Lily nodded her head and accepted his outstretched hand. They made their way silently back toward the sitting room. Just before Sirius was about to push it open, she stopped him.

"Sirius?"

"Yes Lily?"

"Thank you."

He simply nodded and opened the door. Lily made sure to have her smile securely in place as Sirius loudly made a joke of her disappearance to the Potters. They laughed and assured her that she would get used to the many corridors in no time.

Across the tea table, James caught her eye and she was sure that they would talk about her little episode later. It was nerve-wracking trying to think about what she could tell him and what she couldn't. Lily wasn't even quite sure why she was still trying to keep this from him.

The five of them laughed and joked late into the afternoon.

"Is anyone ready for some supper?" Mrs. Potter stood up and began to bustle around the room, tiding things up as she went.

"I think we all might be a little bit hungry, Pumpkin. How would you lot like to go out to this nice place down the street?" Mr. Potter had gotten up and claimed his wife's hand to still her movements.

"Sounds great, should we change into something at bit more acceptable?" Sirius had already made his was to the door.

"Dressy-casual please dears." With that, everyone exited the room except for James and Lily. He stood and offered her his hand.

"Are you alright?" Her mind had been unusually blank since her return to the sitting room; she had pushed everything except for the most trivial comments out of her mind.

"Is this place that we are going for dinner going to be expensive?" Lily hardly had any money left; how would she be able to afford dinners while she was here? She should have thought about this.

"I believe that it will be very extravagant; my parents have expensive tastes." They were in the corridor now as Lily stopped and pulled James to a halt.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Her voice was soft and her mind was racing; this was one of the things that she had been hiding. Would it bother him that she had almost no money? Could she get away without telling him why she was so poor?

"You can tell me anything."

"I don't have any money to pay for such a dinner… I hardly had enough for this year at school." Her eyes were downcast and she felt ashamed. There was silence after her whispers died out and she had just enough time to think that James was rejecting her before being pulled into a crushing hug.

Her arms snaked around him and they just stood together for a long moment. His acceptance of her made Lily's heart lighter; perhaps sharing her darker side with him wouldn't be such a mistake after all.

"Lily, whatever trouble you and your family are in- I can help. My family has a lot of money and we'd be more than willing to provide you with whatever you would need. You just have to say the word and you can have it." He kissed the top of her head as he spoke.

It was touching how much he cared for her but Lily knew there was nothing he could do for her.

"Thank you James, that really means a lot to me. Do you think your parents will be angry if I can't afford the meal tonight?"

"Don't be silly, this will be their treat. They love you already, and they have every reason to." He ducked his lips to hers and for a moment, Lily allowed herself to let go of everything around them. There was nothing except for her and James, standing together entwined. Nothing could ruin this moment.

"Oi! You two are supposed to be getting dressed." The couple broke apart as Sirius sauntered up to them with a very haughty look on his face. "Best run along then; we'll be leaving for dinner in a few."

He chased them down several corridors before James finally stopped abruptly, causing Sirius to slam into his back.

"Ow, Padfoot. Well Lily, this will be your room." He pushed open a set of beautifully engraved doors and led her inside.

There was a large bed made of dark wood displayed in the middle of one of the side walls. A matching wardrobe and desk stood on the opposite wall and a small bedside table stood with lilies in a vase.

The room itself was painted a light pink and the curtains that flowed over the large windows were light blue. Her trunk sat by the edge of the bed and Artemis was perched on top of her cage in the corner.

"It's wonderful."

"I'm glad you approve, once you get dressed, I'm down to the right in the second door on your left." A thrill went through her knowing that he would be so close at night.

"I'll come find you." With a wink and a shove in Sirius' back, the two boys disappeared out the door leaving Lily with the task of trying to find out what to wear.

She decided on a pair of black dress slacks and a nice forest green top. Once she had fluffed up her hair and thrown on a little bit of mascara, Lily made her way down the hall to the second door on her left.

She knocked softly and pushed it in to come face to face with James in only a pair of trousers. The sight of his naked chest brought her back to that night after he had asked her to ball and she could feel her cheeks reddening.

"Oh!" James gave a little shout of surprise as he realized his state of undress. Instead of running, Lily quietly shut the door and made her way to him. She wasn't sure of how she would ever be able to thank him for his proclamation earlier but she knew this wouldn't hurt.

Running her hands up his chest, Lily began placing light kisses everywhere that she could reach. Once she reached the curve in his neck, she was pleased to hear the soft exhale of contentment. Continuing up, her hands snaked their way up into that wonderfully mussed up hair and pulled his face down to meet hers.

A soft moan escaped her lips as he pulled her into him and let his hands inch up the fabric of her top. His touch seemed to set her skin on fire as he moved. Again, their embrace seemed to end much too quickly as James pulled away breathing hard and resting his forehead on hers.

"Well that is one way to ensure that I will be distracted all throughout supper." Lily laughed and agreed.

The meal was amazing and way above what Lily was accustomed to. She and James kept stealing glances at each other from across the table and each time, she couldn't keep her face from heating up. The skin that he touched still tingled with anticipation.

Lily thanked her hosts very much on the way back to Potter manor and they assured her that it was nothing.

"I believe that it is time for me and my wife to retire for the night. You boys behave yourselves and Lily, if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask." Mr. Potter led his wife from the foyer and up a set of magnificent stairs.

The three teens made their way to James' room and each took a seat on the bed. Lily could tell that they were anxious to know about her cry this afternoon but neither would push the issue. Taking a large breath, she began to speak.

"Would you guys like to play a game?" They were both looking at her curiously but nodded their assent. "James taught me the questions game on our first duty together. Are you familiar with the rules Sirius?"

"Yes. We ask alternating questions and must answer them truthfully or else pass the question. You get 3 passes before you lose." Lily nodded.

"Who wants to start?" James was looking at her curiously before asking his question.

"Are you glad that you came for the holidays?"

"I am. Sirius, how can you afford to keep a loft?" The question had been nagging at her ever since she had learned about his family disowning him.

"My uncle, who was also cast out of the family, died and left me everything. I think he had quite a fondness for my guts. Should we avoid asking you about anything Lily?" She hesitated before responding.

"No… but I may choose not to answer remember. James, does it bother you that I have so many secrets?"

He was already shaking his head by the time that she finished. "No, eventually you'll trust me enough to tell me. I'm not worried. Padfoot, do you fancy anyone?" Sirius gave a bark of laughter very much like a dog's.

"You know me Prongs; I'm not the relationship type. Lily, do you often run out of rooms crying?" she knew Sirius wouldn't spare her feelings in this game.

Taking a deep breath, she responded truthfully. "Most of the time, I can keep it under control until I'm in the shower or before I fall asleep at night. But other times, like today, I'll get a reminder and then I just can't hold it in any longer." Lily couldn't look at them; her heart was accelerating so quickly that she thought she might faint.

James grabbed her hand and squeezed.

"James how did you and Sirius become such close friends?"

They both laughed before answering and Lily found that the sounds gave her some strength. These boys weren't going to run away from her just because she was a crying mess; they were her friends.

"On that first train ride, we were both scared out of our minds. I found Padfoot here sitting alone in his compartment having a conversation with himself! He sounded like a right nutter but I was desperate for someone to talk to. I found out that he was trying to decide between what houses he wanted to be in; all he knew was that Slytherin was not for him.

So here we were talking about school when this cute red head boarded the train. I knew instantly that I needed to get closer to her and find out who she was. We decided to go and introduce ourselves but the boy that she got on with wouldn't let us into his compartment.

We got so tired of him being unfriendly that at the same time, we kicked his shins and ran back to our own compartment. I didn't get a chance to speak with you that day but I knew that Sirius and I would be inseparable from then on."

Sirius had a dreamy look on his face as he remembered their first act of cruelty against Severus. Lily was a bit put out because she remembered that day when Sev had come in limping and cursing about two boys who had started a fight.

"Lily? Why were you hanging around with Snape that first day anyway?" This was another secret that she had kept.

"Severus and I grew up down the street from each other. He was the one who first recognized what I was and he helped me to understand that I was special. In those days, he told me that my blood status wouldn't matter and that I would be a brilliant witch. We were friends."

It was hard to talk about him with these boys that loathed Sev so much but it felt nice to reveal just a little bit more of herself.

"Why do you dislike him so much?"

James took a breath to organize his thoughts. "From that very first day, he was always trying to keep me away from you. I knew that I had to be near you, to know you, and anyone who wanted to stop that from happening automatically went on my bad list."

Well that was a very silly and touching reason. Lily smiled and was grateful when James changed the subject.

"What would you normally be doing this time of year Lils? If you were at home with your family?" She had to stop and think. She didn't even really know what day it was… her mother's anniversary would be coming up within the next few days; it must be.

"What day is it?" She was starting to panic now. Was the anniversary tomorrow? Or the next day? How could she have so thoroughly lost track of what day it was?

"It's the 21st- why?"

The 21st. The 21st! Today was the anniversary of her death! How could she have forgotten? Lily stood up from the bed quickly.

"I have to go," she whispered taking a few steps toward the door.

"Wha- Lily!" James and Sirius were right behind her as she dashed to her room. Cloak. Wand. Boots. That's what she would need.

"I have to go- I'm sorry but I've forgotten! How could I have forgotten?" A tear traced its way down her cheek. "I have to go see my mother!"

James took a step towards her. "Please Lily; tell me what's going on."

She shrugged him off and stepped around Sirius. "Where can I disapparate from?" She was frantic now. Her hands shook and she stumbled a few times on her way to the foyer. She could hear James behind her asking if Sirius would cover for them.

"Please just make sure my parents don't realize we're gone. Please Padfoot. I'll have my mirror."

"Anything you need Prongs, just be safe."

Lily was at the door now. She had to get away before James could catch up. She was nearing the end of the walk and he was right on her heels. Just beyond the gate she found the image of the cemetery in her mind. The familiar sensation of being squeezed into a small straw was only interrupted by the feeling of someone gripping her hand.

Lily and James landed with a soft thud in the small cemetery. She jerked her hand from his and paced away from him.

"I thought we were going to see your mother; Lily I- I don't understand-" She turned to look at him with tears falling from her eyes. Slowly and deliberately, Lily walked towards him and grabbed his hand once more. Pulling him along silently behind her, she let her tears fall unchecked.

"Lily please; what's wrong? Please tell me."

She stopped in front of the tomb stone with her mother's name on it. Without looking up, Lily let James in on her secret.

"James, my mother is dead. Today is the 5th anniversary of her death," Her body was shaking with renewed sobs as she looked over to the newer stone next to it. She directed his attention over to her father's grave. "and my father passed away this past summer."


	16. Secrets

**Secrets**

The silence was stretching on far longer than Lily was comfortable with. She sank into the snow on her knees and began to clear away the debris coving her parent's graves.

It felt so surreal to be here; to see her parent's graves side by side. All of the pain that she had been trying to suppress for the past few months came rushing out of her.

Lily's heart threatened to break free from her chest as fresh sobs racked her body and she couldn't understand why James hadn't said anything yet. Perhaps this was it; she had finally scared him off.

She hadn't noticed when he sank to the ground beside her or when he gathered her into his arms, but the moment he began to hum and sway with her, Lily realized she could trust him.

They sat there for hours. Neither one of them could think of what to say, so James kept her huddled against his chest and Lily let herself cry, really cry, for her parent's. She thought about what she missed about each of them, what she wished she had told them, and how empty she felt without them. When she was done crying, Lily found herself zoning in and out, having silent conversations with her dead parents.

She imagined them telling her to be happy; to live and love with all of her being. They told her to trust her friends and that her secrets would only hinder her. She kept begging them to come back; that she needed them.

It had to have been past 2 by the time that James moved. With a swish of his wand, flowers erupted from each of the two head stones. They were beautiful and gave off a slight glow.

Lily smiled up at him and stood; her legs were shaky from not using them and her cheeks were cold where the tears had run down.

Without a word, the two grasped hands and were pulled into the void between places. For that instant, Lily knew things would be okay; she was finally ready to talk.

Silently they made the walk into Potter manor shaking with cold and hardly daring to breathe for fear of being caught. Lily focused on the feel of his hand encircling hers while James led her straight to her room.

"Lily?" His voice cracked from lack of use. "Could I stay here tonight?" She nodded her head and felt gratitude blossom within her chest. This would make things easier to explain.

While James disappeared to change into dry, warm clothes, Lily stripped off her outer layers and threw on large, fluffy night clothes. She lay in bed listening to the sound of an opening door and the approaching footsteps of her boyfriend. This was it.

She scooted over to make room for him and then snuggled close to his chest. Their legs entwined as he encircled her with his arms. Looking up at him, Lily wasn't able to quite make out his expression.

"Ask me anything." She said simply. His eyes bore into hers looking for an answer; searching for something that she wasn't sure he would find.

"Are you alright?" Lily giggled a little out of bitterness because this was the question she always answered untruthfully; the one she hated herself most for ignoring.

"I'm not alight, but I'm better than I was. Somehow you make me happier." She could see the pride in his eyes as she said this. It was true though, James was able to make her laugh and smile and push the constant pain to the side.

"Does anyone else know? How have you kept it a secret for so long? Christ Lily, how could I not have known?" His voice was pleading, he needed to understand.

"Only Ali, Dri, and Ceci know. I've become a pretty good liar; when you want to hide something badly enough, you find ways to avoid it. And I wanted to hide it. I didn't want anyone to think that I was helpless or weak. My mother's death was easier to deal with; we knew long before that she was sick."

Now that she was talking, it was hard to stop. Lily needed desperately to get this out of her; she needed for someone else to know her.

"Do you remember that first night on duty when you asked me about my biggest regret?"

She could tell he was trying hard to remember back those couple of months. "Wasn't it that you didn't get up early enough one morning?"

She nodded into the darkness. "Over the summer, I decided to take a morning and sleep in. My father had called up to me that breakfast was ready but I ignored him because I was tired or just felt like having a lay in.

I drifted in and out of sleep avoiding the light spilling into my room which threatened to wake me. When I next woke up, I took my time walking around my room and tidying things up before going down to eat."

A tear was working its way down the side of her face and Lily stared at James' shirt clearly remembering every detail of what happened. His arms tightened around her and she felt braver.

"When my foot hit the bottom step, I knew something was wrong; the air felt thin and I remember having a feeling of dread but nothing could have prepared me for turning that corner and seeing my father sprawled across the kitchen floor.

They said it was a stroke. That there was nothing I could have done, but I sat there with him clutched to my chest until my sister came home and found us. I was so powerless to save him but maybe if I had gotten up earlier, I could have done _something_."

Quiet tears were once again flowing down her cheeks. James was muttering soft reassurances into her ear about how she wasn't to blame.

"It was my fault; I should have been with him."

Lily couldn't believe that she had finally put words to her nagging fears; about how she blamed herself for his death. The weight that had been slowly crushing her was lifted with each new thing that she told him.

Once she had quieted her tears again, James kissed away the spare drops clinging to her cheeks.

"What will you do after school? Do you have any other family to depend on; what about you sister?"

"I suppose that I will try and get a job; somehow I need to make money to support myself with. I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle before but I really don't fancy ever going back. My sister, on the other hand, wouldn't dream of helping me out. We used to be so close but she- she blames me for a lot."

"What do you mean she blames you?" His tone was aghast with contained confusion and outrage.

"Tuney was always jealous of my magic. I don't blame her; really I would have felt much the same way if our situations were reversed. She would yell and fight with me and call me awful names. Severus didn't help the matter with all of his tricks on her but ever since my mother passed away she has been relentless.

She kept on wondering why it was that I couldn't save her; if I had so much magic, why couldn't I save our mother. It was the same with my father's death, the yelling, the blame, and the silence that has stretched on since then."

James was trying to steady his breathing; the hurt was plain in Lily's voice and he couldn't comprehend what her sister must have been like or why. He would never treat Sirius like that, and they weren't even technically related.

"I'm glad you told me," he whispered trying to distract himself, "I'm sure if you need somewhere to stay once school ends, my parent's will be happy to have you. Oh god, my parents. That's why you were so upset yesterday!"

Lily nodded into his chest. "I just wasn't expecting it so suddenly. I think our parent's would have gotten along well; I wish they would have had the chance."

"Me too Lils, me too. I'll tell them not to mention it again."

"If you want, could you tell them why?' she said in a small voice, 'I don't want to keep it from them… I'll tell Sirius; I owe him the story anyway."

"So you're not going to keep it a secret anymore?" Lily thought on this for a moment.

"I'm only going to tell people when it feels right. I'm so tired of trying to deal with it on my own. I'm just so… tired."

Lily could feel the weight of her own words. She was exhausted from the constant stream of lies that dripped from her at any mention of her parents. Could she really let others know? James seemed to be taking it alright… was he just pretending with her? Lily stared up into his eyes trying to decide what it was she was looking for.

Without warning, James leaned down and kissed her. With a shriek of surprise, Lily was suddenly underneath him as their mouths moved together in a flurried motion. His muscled arms were on either side of her, supporting him and Lily couldn't keep herself from touching them.

This night had been so full of emotionally draining events that Lily felt wonderful letting the primal instincts take hold of her; she didn't need to think about this.

Up his arms and down his chest her hands moved touching ever part of his torso that she could reach. When had it gotten so warm in the room? Her breathing was coming in quicker bursts as her hands slipped up his t-shirt and over his flesh.

All Lily wanted to do was to rip off the fabric and explore every inch of his skin. Warmth seemed to spread from her contact with him; down her arms it traveled and came to settle in the pit of her stomach. Her thoughts began to drift to what would come next. What happened after snogging? Would she have the nerve to do anything more; was she ready for more?

James' kiss kept her head spinning around in circles and just as she was building her courage to take the next risk, he sat back on his heels.

"I'm sorry," he whispered quietly. Lily's head was a mess of confusion.

"For what?" She asked shifting into a sitting position. What did he have to be sorry for? His hand came up to cup the curve of her face.

"Oh Lily… I'm sorry for every pain that you've had to face alone. For every time I heard you cry in the shower and was powerless to help. I'm sorry I can't do anything to help you. And I'm so sorry for what just happened… I just couldn't think of anything to say. It happened without me really thinking about it and I feel like I was taking advantage of you."

His face was cloaked in such pain that Lily was momentarily stunned. Scooting over to him, she placed her hands on either cheek and forced him to look at her.

Deliberately she kissed him; a soft sweet kiss that left her heart aching for another. "You are the one who saved me, James Potter. Everything you do has an effect on me so don't you ever be sorry for that. I was lost, drowning in my own suffering when this year began and somehow you are able to pull me over it. Don't be sorry."

He kissed her once more. His hand went to the small of her back and pulled her into a close embrace. Lily felt a strong attachment to him; she was so thankful to have finally let him into her life.

As her heart beat irregularly, she began to wonder if she might love him. Was she supposed to be this comfortable with him? Could love really happen so quickly? Lily tried to think about her future; how had James become a permanent fixture in whatever plans she could think of?

The boy in question twisted lightly and fell onto his back dragging Lily down to lay across his chest. Staring at each other, an identical smile of contentment formed over their lips. How could he take a night such as this and make her smile before it was through?

James right hand encircled her left while the other began to trace designs onto her back. "You're beautiful," he whispered down at her and Lily could feel her cheeks heat up.

"You're okay looking," she said cheekily while letting her hand wander up to tousle his mussed up hair. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

"There's not a thing in this world that could ever get me to give you up."

A loud earsplitting sound was what woke Lily up the next morning. It sounded as though a thousand trumpets were blasting through the walls. James sat up quickly, scrambling to get his wand drawn and pointing it around looking for the source of the noise.

As quickly as it had started, the room was suddenly quite again. James sighed and smiled down at her.

"Good morning," he mumbled as his arm fell around her and he dragged her into a laying position once more.

"What was that?" Lily asked. The sun seeping in through her curtains was making her slightly woozy and she was only marginally embarrassed about her breath as James kissed her.

"Must have been a joke that Sirius set up for your first morning," he spoke his words against her lips, seeming unable to draw himself away for long.

At that moment, the door burst open. "You would be correct Prongs! Who knew that I would actually manage to get both of you?" He threw a suggestive wink at the pair and then plopped onto the end of the bed.

Lily tried to disentangle herself from her boyfriend but James seemed much too eager to keep her there.

"Oh sod off Padfoot. We had a very late night and I'm exhausted." His eyes were already drifting shut once more.

"I bet you did." Sirius pronounced with an eyebrow wiggle cast in Lily's direction. "But your parents wouldn't be too trilled if they were to make their way into your room and find it empty, would they?"

James' eyes shot open as he remembered where they were; he released her and sprung from the bed. "Oh shit! Lily, I have to go see my parents. Is it alright if I tell them now?" She nodded slowly; this needed to happen.

Quickly, he kissed her once more and then ran from the room. She watched the door for a few seconds, feeling the ache of something missing, until Sirius tentatively touched her forearm.

"Lily?" His tone was no longer joking but soft. She had never heard such a subdued sound come from his lips. "What's happened?"

Lily took a few moments to look over the boy in front of her. His handsome face was arranged in a look of concern with his eyebrows descending in the middle. His hair was longer than James' and his eyes were darker.

She remembered the day in which he had told her about his family; it was time to return the kindness… to let him know her too.

Taking a breath, Lily began to speak. She told him about how her mother had been sick, and died shortly before Christmas, about how her sister refused to talk to her, and about having found her father dead in their kitchen.

She avoided going into how any of this made her feel and just stuck to the basics. He had questions, much the same that James had had, and she answered them as well as she could. It was easier talking through it this time; the pain was there but her chest didn't feel like it would collapse.

When there was nothing left to tell, Lily noticed that Sirius had gripped her hand. "Losing your family is really hard; I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It can tear you up inside but at least I had a choice in the matter. I'm really sorry Evans; you're the last person this should have happened to."

Lily felt a tear glide effortlessly down her cheek. "Thank you Sirius." They sat there for a while longer before deciding to go down to breakfast. Would James have had time to explain the situation to his parents; would they act differently?

Sirius tried to explain the route to the dining room to her, but Lily was too focused on what might happen when she got there. As he was pointing out a small statue of a house elf that you turn left at, she was wondering if Mrs. Potter would look at her with pity or maybe cry. Was she that type of woman?

She was thankful that James was willing to relay her story instead of doing it herself.

The pair made it to a spacious room that housed a large mahogany table expertly set with expensive looking china ware. Candlesticks were spaced down the middle of the place settings and Lily noticed that fresh flowers served as a lovely centerpiece.

The Potters hadn't arrived yet, so Lily took the seat that Sirius indicated to. It wasn't a minute before she heard small feet shuffling into the room. Looking around, Lily couldn't see anyone besides her and Sirius and was about to ask when a high voice began speaking.

"Good morning Mistress, Master, what can I get you for your meal?" She noticed that a small female house elf was standing in the space between her elbow and the next chair. The elf was wearing a pretty white dress with matching head piece.

"Good morning Mipsy, would you mind making some eggs and hash for me?" Sirius spoke with affection when addressing the small creature. How could this boy be the same person who jinxed other students for fun?

Mipsy turned to her with a large smile. "And for you, Mistress Evans? Mipsy can make anything your heart desires." Lily couldn't help but like this creature.

"Could I please just have some toast and jam please Mipsy?" The house elf nodded and scurried from the room.

"You've got to love that little elf. She's helped me and James through some sticky situations, that one." Sirius had a glint in his eye and Lily was left wondering what these two boys got up to when left to their own devices.

She was once again plunged from her own thoughts when the door opened to reveal the three Potters. Martha was the first one in; she had the look of someone who had had a cry but her face was strong and set. Lily knew that she would not see this woman cry for her.

James' mother made her way over the Lily and sank down a bit to give her a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. Without any words, she then moved and took her seat at the table.

Mr. Potter was the next to walk by, hesitating only for a brief moment to place his hand on her shoulder and a soft kiss on the top of her head before seating himself next to his wife.

Lily could feel a strong appreciation for these people. They were caring and loving, while respecting her privacy. She imagined the questions that they must have asked their son, and his attempts to pacify their curiosity. She felt a warmness spreading throughout her chest as she smiled up at her hosts.

They were more accepting than she could have ever hoped. James came in last and sat beside her, grabbing her hand beneath the table and holding it tightly. She hoped that he would never let go.

The silence continued only a moment longer until Martha found her courage and spoke in a bright confident tone.

"So what do you three have planned for the day?" Her hand was in Mr. Potter's and she was smiling at the three children around her. Even though two of them may protest, they were all her responsibility now.

They all exchanged a few looks and then shrugged. James was the first to speak.

"Well I know that I have to go to Diagon Alley at some point. Maybe Lily and Sirius would come along with me?" She nodded; it would only be proper for her to get the Potters Christmas gifts if she were to stay with them for the holiday. More than that, though, she _wanted_ to get them something to show how much they already meant to her.

The three of them set off after everyone had showered and dressed. The moment they stepped into the Alley, Lily could see the toll that the coming war had taken.

All around them, shops were closed and dark; their windows boarded up against the almost deserted streets. The people that did populate the street were mostly vendors of carelessly thrown together stands that sold products that promised protection.

James instinctively pulled her waist closer to his side as they walked along; their wands were all within reach.

"I need to stop off in here for a moment; I'll catch up with you two in a few. Try not to get yourselves into any trouble while I'm gone, won't you?" Sirius stopped in front of an unlabeled shop with blackened windows.

"Bit of a dodgy place isn't it? Are you sure we should let him go in alone?" Lily asked once he had disappeared.

"Padfoot's smart. He knows what he's doing." James said evasively. "Do you remember the last time we were here? It's sure changed a lot." Lily nodded, stepping around a wizard who stepped forward gesturing to a gleaming necklace.

"I remember seeing you here. You practically ran up to me and I couldn't wait to get away." She laughed at the memory. How could things have changed between them so quickly?

"Yeah… I'm sorry about that. I just couldn't seem to let the opportunity pass without speaking to you but somehow, every time I tried to have a conversation with you, I would botch it up." His free hand went up to the back of his hair once more and Lily found herself smiling at the gesture; she still made him nervous.

"Your parents seemed to know who I was though," she said cheekily. The memory of realizing that James had spoken about her before still brought a pink hue to her cheeks.

"Oh yes. They do have a way of getting me to talk. It seems that my crush on you in first year didn't escape my parent's attention and by third year, they always wanted to know how things were going between us. A bit silly really but I just couldn't shake my fascination of the beautiful muggle born girl in my year."

James winked at her and ducked his head to place a kiss on the top of hers. She was so content with him. As they walked, the two peered into several shops to see if they might find a suitable place to browse for presents.

Lily only had a small amount of money left and was grateful when they found a small antique store to duck into from out of the cold winter air.

The room was no larger than the Potter's entrance foyer but was packed full with mismatched items. There were lamps, books, furniture, jewelry, and many other items scattered carelessly around the room in an organized mess. Small paths were cleared away for people to walk through all of the clutter.

Lily and James parted ways and began searching for anything to attract their interest.

Instantly, she was attracted to a small table pushed up against the wall and hidden by a large tower of books. Spread out on the cracked wood lay an assortment of dust covered trinkets and baubles.

Her fingers grazed along the surfaces and collected a line of dust as a small gleam caught her eye.

Lily drew the small locket up to her face to get a better look. It was small and silver, inlaid with an intricate design that was very pleasing to the eye. Popping open the small lock, she discovered that the inside held no sign of age, nor any previous portrait.

She kept the locket in her hand as she moved along.

The next item to catch her eye rested on a table near the back of the store. Mixed in with an array of worn out handbags and purses, Lily spotted a handsome looking wallet. Although warn down, it had the feel of sturdy leather. Perhaps she could place a specific charm on it that would be perfect for Mr. Potter.

So she had an idea for both of James' parents, now what should she get him? At the moment, he was across the shop and looking at a group of scarves. He looked up with a jerk of his head, caught her eye, and smiled while running his hand through his hair.

Lily smiled back as her mind raced on, trying to think of what would be perfect for their first Christmas together.

Under no circumstance would she get him something sappy; she had never been one for those overly extravagant gifts that didn't hold any meaning either. Maybe something that he would find useful, but what could she find that he didn't already own?

After a little while longer of searching along every table that she could get to, and behind every stack of mismatched items, Lily finally found something that would be perfect for him.

With a quick glance to make sure James wasn't looking, Lily made her way over to the shop keeper who rang her out accordingly. Everything was so inexpensive that her total was less than 5 Galleons. Secretly she wondered if the Potters would be offended by the simple gifts but Lily quickly pushed this fear away.

With a quick look for James, she made her way to the front door to wait for him, or Sirius, should he choose to show up.

Moments later, James had snuck up behind her, slipping a package into his cloak. Taking her hand he directed her towards the sweet shop where, if she had been paying attention, she would have noticed Sirius slipping into seconds before.

"Find everything you were looking for?" James was shortening his stride to match her smaller steps.

"Almost. Do you know what Sirius' favorite sweets are? I don't really know what else to get him." Lily could see him out of the corner of her eye, staring at her in wonder but by the time she turned her head, he was laughing.

"And what is so funny James Potter?" Lily demanded; her irritation building.

"It's just that less than four months ago in this same street, you wouldn't even carry on a conversation with me and now here we are, holding hands and you're asking me what you should get my best mate for a present." He stopped walking and pulled her gently into his arms. "I'm just amazed by you every single day."

Lily could feel the blush rising on her cheeks.

"It's only a couple of sweets." She mumbled, winding her arms up around his neck.

"To you maybe," he replied before closing the distance between them and claiming her lips in a soft kiss.

The honest feeling that Lily felt through James' kiss took her breath away. She thought about how far she had come this year and about the impact of her wanting to give James' family gifts.

Lily wasn't sure how or when, but at some point, this boy had finally gotten her to fall in love with him.

The realization struck her in an instant and she wasn't sure weather to laugh or cry. There was no denying it to herself anymore; Lily Evans was in love with the troublesome marauder whom she had once sworn to loath for eternity.

"Oi!" Sirius' shout broke the couple apart. Lily had forgotten that they were still in Diagon alley. The light was slowly fading from the sky and the streets were emptier than she had ever seen them.

It was funny the think that, despite the terror and unease of the dark times surrounding them, love could still unexpectedly appear.

"Piss off Padfoot." James replied to whatever randy comment Sirius had made. Lily could still the tilt of his smile as he spoke and her heart swelled once more with love.

Grasping his hand tightly, they spent the rest of the day polishing off their shopping, never stepping more than a few feet away from each other.

The next two days flew by and before she knew it, Lily was being woken up by affectionate little kisses and excited mummers whispered into the side of her neck.

Giggling, she looked up into the bright eyes of her boyfriend whose smile was stretched widely across his face.

"Happy Christmas, Lils." Their legs were still wound together from the nights sleep but he was hovering over her trying to rouse her from the lingering fogginess of sleep.

"Mmm, what time is it?" The morning light was slanted and looked just barely past pink hues of sunrise.

"It must already be about eight. I've been up for a while but thought I would let you sleep; you looked so content." Lily could see his excitement about the day and was grateful that he had let her sleep; eight was better than other times that she could have been forced awake.

James was practically bouncing in his excitement and Lily felt flutters in her stomach with the idea that this may not be her last Christmas that this boy will wake her up early for.

She finally gathered her strength and shimmied from his grasp to go and brush her teeth.

"You may want to hurry, Lily, I wouldn't want to rob you of the chance to wake Sirius up as payback for the other day." Giggling once more, Lily rushed through her morning routine.

The two of them, still dressed in their comfortable pajama outfits, made their way silently down the hall to their friend's room. Lily's mind raced as she tried to think how best to wake up the sleeping boy and had just settled on her revenge as James pushed in the door.

Creeping over to the side of his bed, Lily conjured a small glass of water. Looking at James only quickly to get his nod of approval, she focused on the peaceful face of the sleeping boy and upturned the water so that it splashed down, connecting with its target.

Sirius shot up in bed with a yell of confusion and fury looking for the culprit.

"Happy Christmas, Sirius!" Lily shouted gleefully over her shoulder as the boy jumped from his damp bed to try and capture the girl whom had already raced from his bedroom.

James watched happily as the two ran and laughed throughout the halls. As he made his way after them down towards the breakfast table, he was joined by his very amused father who clapped him on the shoulder.

"I don't think I've ever seen you happier son; don't let this one slip away." He said while giving his son a very marauder-ish wink. With an even wider smile, James replied that he would never dream of it.

When Sirius had finally caught up with Lily and wiped his still wet face and hair all over her jumper, the two fell into fits of laughter clutching at the stitches in their sides.

Lily realized that she had not only fallen in love with James, but with every part of his life. Sirius' gleeful eyes found hers and she was once again confused as to how she could have disliked these boys for so long. How had she been so closed minded as to never give them a proper chance?

Breakfast flashed by in a rush, the boys were constantly telling the others to eat more quickly, and soon the five of them were seated in the sitting room on the floor. It seems that Christmas in this home was treated casually and Lily felt her unease at her simple gifts slip away.

James was so happy and carefree as he passed out the presents from under the tree, that Lily assumed that this must be his favorite holiday. She tried to remember back to the days before her mother's death and how she too had once loved the anticipation of gift opening.

Her heart ached with want to have those days back once more. As James set another package by her ankle, their eyes met and she could feel some of that old feeling start to creep in and over take the painful memories.

"Before we begin, I just wanted to tell you all how glad I am that we could all share this holiday together." Mrs. Potter spoke as she warmly surveyed the people around her. "I couldn't ask for a better present to see my boys all so happy and healthy and to finally have another girl around the house."

Lily smiled widely at the affection spilling from her hostess' words. She was so lucky to be surrounded by people who, not only knew about her past, but accepted her into their lives so effortlessly.

Thankfully, the Potter family was not one of those who watched as one person opened their gifts at a time.

Everyone began to work their way through the wrapped gifts and Lily looked for the first time at her own stack. It was larger than she expected.

The first one that she opened was from Alice, who had sent her a small bracelet which held two different charms dangling from it that gleamed in the soft morning light. One was a small open book and the other was a purple infinity sign, which had come to be their symbol of friendship over the past seven years.

Ceci and Dri each sent her a different charm that she could add to the bracelet and Lily could not help the smile that formed on her face as she thought about her friends. Dri's charm was a small pair of running shoes and Ceci had given her a small pink heart.

"Thank you Evans," Sirius called over to her as he took a large bite out of one of the chocolate frogs she had gotten him while trying to hide the small bottle of fire whiskey under the wrapping paper and out of sight of Mrs. Potters eyes.

Lily had known it would be risky giving it to him there but Sirius handled it better than she had expected. She flashed him a mischievous smile and told him it was nothing.

Opening the next present, Lily was touched that Sirius, Remus, and Peter had all pitched in to get her another charm for the bracelet. When had all of her friends had time to come up with this idea?

She smiled as the small word registered in her mind: marauder. It was an honor that Lily wasn't sure she deserved. Looking up, Sirius was watching intently for her reaction and she smiled widely at him before scrambling over to give him a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, squeezing him tightly. Lily wasn't sure why, but the fact that these boys had welcomed her so thoroughly into their lives made her feel like she had a family again.

Embarrassed only slightly by her actions, Lily made her way back to her spot on the floor and began edging the paper off of a small gift from Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Before she could see what it was though, Martha gave a soft gasp of surprise.

Looking up, Lily saw that James' mother had just opened her present. She had taken the locket from the thrift shop and had James help her find a suitable portrait of his parents to put in it.

"Oh Lily, this is wonderful," she said happily, "I love it. Thank you dear." She had her husband help to fasten it around her neck and Lily was proud to see her continued admiration of it.

"It's nothing," Lily replied happily before turning her attention to Mr. Potter for he had opened his own present from her and was examining it curiously.

"That wallet has a charm on it that will only allow the owner entrance. I thought that since you were on the job so often that it may be helpful if there are things that you wouldn't want others to have access to."

She was beginning to become self conscious of this gift before he turned to give her a kind smile. "It will indeed be of great use to me. Thank you Lily."

James' grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. Turning her attention back to her half opened gift, Lily became away that it was a picture frame. What caught her attention most, though, was that the two moving people in the picture were her parents.

The pair of them stood just inside Diagon alley next to a building that she had passed a number of times before. Where had this picture come from; how could she have forgotten the quick nature of her mother's happy wave or the small wrinkles around her father's eyes as he smiled?

Drops of water began to hit the glass of the portrait and Lily was confused until she realized that they were her own tears. She looked up with confusion in her eyes to see the couple holding hands and watching her anxiously.

It was Mr. Potter who spoke. "When James informed us of your parents, we wanted to do something that would help you remember them better. Once a young witch or wizard is born into a muggle household, the parents are invited for a tour of some of the places that we hold in high regards and are told what their children would need to know for the transition into the magical world.

James told us that he wasn't sure if you had ever been able to take a proper photo of your parents and so Martha and I thought we could have a look into the Ministry's old files of the tour your parents we on to see if they had been photographed. When I came across this one, I just couldn't leave it down in the old file room to be forgotten."

His words were soft and Lily could tell he was uncomfortable with her tears but she felt so overcome by emotion that that wouldn't stop.

Carefully, Lily laid the frame on the ground beside her and rushed over to the older couple still looking at her anxiously. She threw her arms around the two of them and stuttered out a heartfelt thank you.

Mrs. Potter wound her arm up around Lily's back and smoothed her hair down, making soft sounds and letting her cry.

Sitting back on her heels after a while, Lily realized that she was alone with James' mother; the boys had all left to give her some privacy.

"I'm sorry we made you so sad, dear." The elder woman cupped her face and wiped away one of the tears lines.

"No, don't be; I loved your present. It really means so much to me. I'm sorry for putting a damper on everything… it's just that I had forgotten so many things about them already."

Martha pulled her into another hug and Lily couldn't help but feel like the child that she was who needed the love of her mother.

"They look like splendid people, Lily. One day, when you're ready, I'd love for you to tell me about them."

Nodding her acceptance of the offer, Lily pulled back once more. "Thank you."

The pair of women made their way to find the boys and the five of them spent the rest of the day lounging around the house, playing in the snow, and eating an extravagant meal that James' mother had made herself.

With bellies full of delicious food, and hearts full of love, everyone drifted off to their separate rooms late in the evening.

Lily lay in bed staring at the way her mother's smile slanted up to one side more than the other, when James finally made his way to her room. He sat behind her and scooped her into his lap before staring intently at the couple in the frame.

"You look like her." He whispered before kissing the top of her head.

Lily nodded. "My dad would tell me the same thing whenever he caught me looking at old photographs of her. It made her feel closer."

"I never had a chance to give you your present today." He kissed the side of her face before pulling out a small package from his pocket.

Lily took it with a smile and then reached over to her bedside table to retrieve the one that he hadn't opened yet either. James looked at it with surprise but smiled.

Within the wrapper of her gift was a small battered box. Was this what he had purchased at the antique shop? Cracking open the box, Lily's eyes fell on a small silver necklace.

"The stone is what really made me fall in love with it. The color is that exact same as your eyes and I couldn't let it pass by." James' hand went up to wind its way through his hair once more and Lily smiled.

"It's really lovely. Will you help me put it on?" Winding her hair up behind her head, she passed the necklace over and felt his hands tremble as he tried to work the clasp.

Lily then indicated that he should open his own present. She watched in trepidation as he unfolded the arm band.

"It's a wand holder." She explained. "I put a charm on it that will stop your wand from being summoned or from disarming you if it is in it. I thought maybe by putting a disillusionment spell on it, you could wear it all the time and I'll know that you're safe."

James was still looking at the old leather in his hands and Lily's mind began to tell her that it was a silly idea.

"It's brilliant." He said at last. "Really, how did you ever think about it?"

Lily could feel the lightness of pride filling her up. "I just saw it and knew that in these bad times, the few seconds that it takes to draw your wand may mean the difference of you coming home to me or not. I couldn't bare the thought of you not coming back."

For some reason, James was smiling at her.

"What are you smiling at James?"

"You said 'coming home' to you. It just sounded nice; I fancy you saying it more often." He teased her before leaning down and capturing her lips once more with his.


	17. The Offer

**The Offer**

The days immediately following Christmas seemed to speed up in their time. Lily found herself exploring the Potter manor and had even been able to find time to speak with James' father about the imminent war.

She had found him 2 days after the Holiday sitting in his office and pouring over some of his papers from the Auror office. James had still been sleeping when she managed to slip out of the room unnoticed.

"Mr. Potter?" She tapped on the door frame quickly before stepping in.

"Oh, good morning Lily. Up a little early I see; did you sleep alright?" He smiled at her and crossed his arms over top of the papers to give her his full attention.

Lily couldn't help but have affection for the elder Potter; he was so like her own dad had been.

"I slept wonderfully, thank you. Some days I just feel the need to get up and do something with myself." She laughed away the awkwardness that she felt by intruding in his office at such an hour.

"I quite agree. Was there something that I could help you with though?" His keen eyes were looking for any sign of what the young girl could need.

"Actually, I was just wondering if we could talk; about Voldemort I mean. I got the feeling that Martha doesn't like the topic an awful lot but I'd really like to get your opinion." She had moved over and taken one of the small armchairs across from his desk.

"You really are something special Lily." He said, as the corner of his mouth turned upward, "What would you like to know?"

"Well when you were discussing it with Sirius, you said that he wouldn't work out in the open? And that he would get others to do his bidding. Can there really be that many people who are willing to follow him?"

"Unfortunately, a lot of the old wizarding families agree with his philosophies. Even if they didn't, wizards like him have other ways of gaining support. Some may be blackmailed; others may be forced into servitude by the Imperius curse."

"But how will we be able to tell who we can trust?" Lily could feel the weight of her words as she spoke them; would she be able to tell her friends from her foes?

"That, my dear, is the major question. In the coming months it will be very important for everyone to find those that they can trust completely. Make safety words that only you and the other person will know; never travel anywhere alone or at night.

I'm afraid that you and your friends at school will soon be entering into a world full of chaos and fear. Do you have any plans once you leave Hogwarts?"

Lily thought for a moment about what she could do. Would she try as Severus might and make it her goal to stay alive? No; she was certain that hiding out and waiting for the war to end would drive her mental.

"If I have the chance," she began slowly, "I'd like to try and fight against these people. They kill muggles for sport and hurt innocent people; they tear families apart from one another and have no qualms about anything."

Mr. Potter gave her an appreciative nod. "I understand, but I must warn you that should you walk down that path, it will be very dangerous."

Lily nodded and smiled. "I know that, but what these people are doing is horrendous." She let out a dry laugh. "But school won't be out for another few months and I don't even know where I would start trying to fight."

"When the time comes, I can help you if it is still what you choose to do."

She had left his office shortly after to continue her wanderings through the manor and to ponder what her future may hold in store. Could she really find a way to help in this war?

The next morning Lily was spending time with James and Sirius, watching them play a round of wizard's chess, when a post arrived for her. Mipsy came scurrying into James room and stopped right before her, curtseying and holding up the letter.

"Mistress has a letter."

"Thank you Mipsy." Her curiosity grew as she noticed the familiar slant of her sister's hand writing. A few days before Christmas, Lily had sent out a package in the muggle post for her sister. She had not been expecting a reply but had listed the Potter's address just in case.

Slipping her finger into the envelope, she tore into the letter quickly and, with much anticipation, began to read.

_Lily, _

_Thank you for the sweets and Christmas wishes. I am glad to hear that you are doing well. Things here are much the same as they were when you left. I was wondering if you would care to join me and Vernon for supper some time this week; I have some news that I would like to share with you._

_Please phone me back with your reply quickly,_

_Petunia_

Lily read through the letter 3 times before looking up into the curious eyes of her two friends. Had Tuney really just asked her to supper? Perhaps this was the chance she had been hoping for to reconnect with her sister. She was the only one who really understood what she was going through.

"What is it Lily? What's wrong?" James' voice broke through her hopeful thoughts and she noticed that small tears were gathering at the corners of her eyes.

Clearing her throat she told the boys of her sister's invite.

"Do you know where I could go to get a hold of a telephone?"

And so here she sat, just minutes before the appointed time that she would meet up with her sister. Upon dialing her, Lily had asked if James could come along; she wasn't sure how many times the two of them may get to meet. Petunia had agreed and it was set up that they would eat at some muggle restaurant near her aunt's home.

"Calm down Lily, you're twitching like the Whomping Willow." James murmured in her ear. "Everything will be fine."

"James," she replied in a shaky voice while gripping his forearms for emphasis, "Please, please be on your best behavior. Magic will only set her off and, however tempting it may be, pranks of any kind are not tolerated. Vernon is the most stuck up, pompous man that I've ever met. Honestly, I don't know how Petunia can put up with him."

Lily had watched the couple from the first time that Petunia brought him home from university to meet her family. When her sister had left, she had smiled at the small things in life, like a lady bug landing on her shoulder or the gentle hum of rain on their tin roof; Lily used to love looking for these things that would remind her of when they were young children.

After only a term at university, though, Petunia had come through the door with this large boy and a scowl on her face that conveyed that nothing was good enough for her. She would turn up her nose at all of the little thing that she once secretly loved and Lily could only sit at a distance as her only sister changed herself more and more to be like the woman that Vernon wanted to date.

Lily was snapped out of her reminiscing by the gentle chime of the bell hanging above the door. Her head whipped up to see her sister entering while Vernon held the door open. Giving James' hand a slight squeeze, Lily jumped up and made her way over to Petunia.

There was an awkward moment as the two sisters stood feet apart from each other wondering if they should embrace. It ended when James made his way forward and placed his left hand on the small of Lily's back while extending his right toward Petunia.

"James Potter. You must be Petunia; it's nice to meet you." Petunia sized up the boy in front of her before a small smile slipped onto her face and she grasped his hand.

"Hello James, pleasure to meet you." Lily was caught off guard by the ease of which her sister had greeted her boyfriend.

"Vernon Dudley." As he spoke, Petunias boyfriend thrust his hand out aggressively towards James while eying Lily as he always did, as though she were not to be trusted.

The two men seemed to have a test of strength as they clasped hands and Lily had half a mind to nudge James in the ribs. Just as she was about to act on the impulse, however, they broke apart and the four of them were left to stand in silence together as they waited for their table.

They were soon seated at a small table to the left of the main seating area. Lily took the seat opposite Petunia. As soon as their drinks had arrived, her sister folded her hands and stared at Lily.

"Vernon has asked me to marry him," she said with a slight smile to the man sitting next to her, "and I accepted his offer." Looking at his face, Lily saw a smug expression like one that might appear on a child's face after he won a prize.

"Oh! Well congratulations Tuney, that's wonderful news." Lily wasn't altogether surprised; Petunia had always talked about getting married and keeping a home.

"Petunia." Vernon cut in gruffly.

"What?" Lily asked a taken aback.

"Her name is Petunia. Not Tuney." He gave her another look that portrayed his dislike for her. Lily wondered what it was that had made him dislike her so much. Did he blame her for the death of her parents as well?

"I'm sorry. Petunia, that's wonderful news. I'm very happy for the both of you." She forced a smile onto her face; this was the man that Petunia was choosing to marry and Lily would support her in anything.

"Thank you Lily. I just wanted to get together and tell you in person. Aunt Eileen and Uncle Richard are thrilled. I've asked Richard if he would be the one to walk me down the isle." Lily could see her sister's eyes water with sparkling tears but it was soon replaced with a bitter grin. "And I was wondering if you would want to be the maid of honor?"

Lily was struck speechless for a moment. Had she really heard her sister correctly? Her heart was beating quickly and she wondered if this could be her chance to really reconnect with her sister. "Oh Tun—Petunia, I would be overjoyed. It really means a lot to me that you asked."

There was an awkward moment at the table as Vernon sat silently with his arms crossed and Petunia looked at her sister with a small smile.

"We're having it at the same church that your mum and dad were married in. We thought that would be a good way to remember them." Vernon spoke up finally. "My parents will be putting up for most of the bill so I'd appreciate it if you acted like our kind and didn't mess anything up."

Lily could feel a sort of shock run through her system. So Petunia had told her fiancé about her abilities. Was she really so surprised? She saw her look of shock reflected on James' face just before he opened his mouth.

"What do you mean your 'kind'?" Lily placed her hand just above the top of his knee. She could tell that Vernon was wearing down her boyfriend's nerves.

"I mean to try and be normal. No acting with any of this freak-like behavior that Petunia has told me about. My parents are putting up a lot of money for this day and I won't have a couple of weirdos ruining it. If it were up to me, you wouldn't even be invited."

Lily could feel sadness for her sister building up inside of her. Could this man really make Petunia happy? Her sister was looking at him angrily and told him not to make a scene. Lily looked toward James and could see his eyes flaring up with anger.

"We are not freaks and we are not weirdos. Lily is a wonderful person who loves her sister. We will act accordingly to the situation at you wedding but don't you dare ever disrespect Lily again. She is far more kind and loving than you could ever hope to be."

Vernon's face was growing steadily redder as he listened to James' angry words. He looked at his fiancé for a little bit of back up, but when he saw that she had nothing to say he stood up.

"It was very interesting to meet you tonight and to see you yet again Lily. Unfortunately I will not sit here and be talked to in this way. Good evening to both of you. Petunia, I will bring the car around." With that, he stormed out of the restaurant.

Petunia gave James a small glare and then looked at Lily. "See what you've done now? All he wanted to make sure of was that you wouldn't make anything strange happen in front of our relatives and now he's all upset. I have to go. It was nice seeing you Lily."

Without another word, Lily watched her sister walk out the door and climb in the passenger side next to Vernon. She really disliked that man.

"I want to go home." She told James softly. He grasped her hand as they walked outside of the restaurant. Lily was feeling empty; this night had turned into something completely different than what she was expecting.

"I'm sorry Lils; I shouldn't have talked to him that way. This was about you and your sister and I ruined it. I'm a complete tosser." His head was turned from her and she could hear the anguish in his voice.

"James… it's not your fault. Vernon has always been that way. I've never liked him. Please let's just get home for the night." James turned to look into her sad eyes and kissed her softly before they were both transported through the straw-like suction back to the entrance of the Potter residence.

They knew that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had been out for the time being as well so when they saw that the home was not vacant, James pushed Lily slightly behind him.

"So, you are home at last Mister Potter. Your friend here has been keeping us company." Lily looked at the man standing in the middle of the foyer. He was tall and almost handsome. There were things in his features though, that made him appear off in some way. Perhaps it was the way that his nose was slimmer than most people's or perhaps the way in which his pupils were mere slits; whatever it was, Lily knew he was dangerous.

Looking around the room, Lily saw that he was not the only newcomer in the home. What looked like ten more men were all standing in a half-circle around him. They had their hoods shading their faces so she couldn't make out much else about them. Sirius was held with his hands behind his back by the man on the far left.

"Who are you? Why have to come here?" James was still standing protectively in front of Lily and had a strong voice despite how fearful Lily knew he must be. She could see his eyes dart every now and then onto the gagged face of his best mate.

"I was coming here with an offer to the Head Boy. It was only my luck that I found the elusive Head Girl as well. I value talent, Mister Potter, Ms. Evans. I believe that you can be of use to me. I have heard of your various accomplishments and skills within the walls of Hogwarts and would like to make you an offer."

The man was pacing back and forth in the space before the two teens. He spoke with ease but there was an underlying danger to his words. Lily was shaking and she wished that Sirius would look up at her so that she could know if he was alright.

"What sort of offer could you have that would entice us? I know who you are and I know what you do. You are a killer of many innocent lives. You are the one who calls himself Voldemort." Lily gave a small gasp as his words sunk into her mind. This was the man who was causing so much terror. What was he doing here?

"So much spirit, so much drive; yes, you would be a nice addition to my ranks, providing that we can come to an agreement. But, what of the lovely Ms. Evans? Let us get a closer look."

"No!" James let out a shout as Lily felt her body moving swiftly from around him to be placed right in front of the killer who now has a face. James was thrown backwards when he tried to take the few steps toward her. She motioned for him to stay where he was.

"What do you want with us Voldemort?" She spat the words at him while giving him her fiercest glare.

"I want your loyalty. You are both very skilled and intelligent. You have that fire within… that motivation. Why not be a part of something bigger? Something more important than yourselves? I can offer you that opportunity."

Lily was starting to feel sick. "Why would you want me? I'm a muggle born. I am everything that you want to rid this world of." Looking once more at Sirius, she wished that she knew what to do.

"You are a special case. You were recommended. I have had a trusted member of my group vouch for your abilities. You need but agree to join me and all will be well. You and your family will be safe."

"I would never join a monster like you." Lily could feel her anger rising. "You will never succeed. I will make it my goal to make sure that you are defeated and brought down."

"So be it." Lily saw Voldemort raise his wand and glanced back to see a horrified looking James staring back at her. Just as she thought that everything was hopeless though, his eyes lit up and he reached toward his forearm and glanced out the window.

Lily had one second to realize what was happening before she ducked down under the range of flying spells.

James made his way toward her after relieving Voldemort of his wand and watching him disapparate with a yell of fury. The Potter's had made it home and had called a little back up from the Auror office. James summoned Sirius to them and Lily used an _innervate_ incantation to revive the stupified boy.

Once the three of them were all about the move again, they ran toward the door. James tried to stop and help his father against Voldemort's remaining Death Eaters.

"Go James! Take you mother and the others and find a safe place!" Lily could see James hastily grab a small object from his jacket and place it in his father's hand.

"Be safe dad." And with that James collected them all and Disapparated from the yard.

The sudden quiet of the field cut sharply into Lily's mind. All she could hear was their labored breathing. James found her quickly in a tight embrace while Mrs. Potter inspected Sirius for any cuts or bruising.

"I'm so glad you're safe Lil." She didn't know how to react. Did that all really just happen? Had they escaped the most feared Wizard of their time? Lily nodded into his shoulder and clutched him back.

"What the hell was Voldemort doing in our home?" Mrs. Potter was sitting on a log, having checked over Sirius to her full extent. "Are all of you alright? Lily I couldn't bare seeing you so close to him. You must be terrified poor dear." Lily simply nodded and leaned closer into her one comfort at the moment.

They all sat in silence for a while before James asked Sirius to borrow his two-way mirror. So that must be what he had slipped his father.

"Dad, can you hear me? Please answer me." There was silence as they waited for a reply. After a few moments, James tried again. No answer.

They all decided to chance making the trip back. Apparating a little ways from the property, they noticed a shape in the sky. It was a large green skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. What was it? How had it gotten there?

James ran quickly to a large group of Aurors who were standing around in a circle. As Lily, Sirius, and Mrs. Potter approached though, James turned from the men and with tears on his face, entered the home.

Cautiously, Lily peered between the group as she heard one of the Aurors explaining to Mrs. Potter; Mr. Potter had been hit with the killing curse. Instantly he was gone. Lily ran to a bush and tried to hold herself steady as he body shook with dry heaving.

Mrs. Potter was leaning on Sirius crying and he wore a look of shock. How had this happened? How could he be gone just like that? Lily thought of all of the death surrounding her lately. Her vision started to blur and spin and as she hit the ground, she let the darkness consume her.


End file.
